Avengers Endgame Review (Non-Spoiler)

"We're in the endgame now."
- Doctor Strange, Infinity War

Okay, let's make this short and sweet... unlike the runtime of Avengers Endgame, which is nearly 3 hours long, (pace your drinking habits).

First, let me repeat the common sense philosophy I said before: If you don't like superhero movies, this was not made for you. Especially if you haven't seen any of the other previous Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) movies in the last 11 years. Although an argument could be made that you don't have to watch ALL 21 movies. You might be able to watch 8 or 10 of them to get fully up to speed. At this point, it's essentially a career move.

However, if you have seen them, and you do love superhero movies, and find yourself emotionally invested in the fate of these characters, (as many of us are), I really think you'll appreciate Avengers Endgame. But just how much? Let's discuss...

The first thirty minutes weigh a bit heavy, as our heroes come to terms with their losses from Infinity War, (although having gone out in public, personally I often feel Thanos did nothing wrong). But once we get past that mourning period, we're treated to The Avengers Greatest Hits. Without giving anything away, there are lots of references and nods to some of the best moments from their past. Yes, you could call this the Avengers Awesome Mix Tape.. but with so much more!

The length of this movie is mostly justifiable, because there are so many story elements to process and resolve. Realistically, they could have trimmed some of it out, but along the way, we get lots of good laughs, some "F* YEAH!" cheer scenes... as well as some very sad conclusions. Combining all those things effectively is what this movie does right. It's quite the emotional roller coaster, and a beautiful ending to an epic story. 

"But Deeesher, is it really the end...??"

First, stop asking questions. The MCU has plenty of sequels already in production. This universe isn't going anywhere. But for me, they did tie up all the loose ends with a pretty bow. 

"But..."

I said stop asking questions! Okay, as much as I did enjoy this movie, you have to suspend disbelief a bit more than I normally like. Sure, I accept that an alien from space collects a bunch of colored stones to wipe out half the population of the universe. But I want my story telling to be a bit more linear in thinking. And we all knew there would be some time travel here, and unfortunately, that kind of thing tends to be a bit sketchy. Maybe they'll clear up some of those details in upcoming releases. I've already heard that the repercussions from this will change certain aspects of the existing time line. Ugh... 

Nitpicking aside, this didn't detract much from my enjoyment. Like the previous Avengers movies, no one character or performance stood out. Everyone did very well in their respective roles, although you could say Robert Downey Jr might have nudged out the others just a bit. But, with sooooooo many Avengers in the lineup, they focus primarily on 10 (or so) of the main characters. And if you have a favorite hero from any of the previous 21 movies, don't worry, you will see ALL of them doing some pretty cool stuff. There are plenty of beautiful hero shots that will bring a tear to your eye. 

Many of you know, in the past, I've had some misgivings with the Russo Brothers, who have directed a few previous MCU movies. Some scenes still seemed poorly lit (doesn't anyone in space have light bulbs??), and some of the action seemed a bit too close, but otherwise it looks like they got some of my notes (you're welcome!). In the end, this is how you make a movie that respects so many classic characters. This is what you get when the 'suits' listens to the fans!  

So, if I may channel my inner Stan Lee,

Excelsior!

Deeesher

Aquaman 2019 Review

If you ask the nerds, there is an ongoing competition for superiority between Marvel and DC live action comic book movies. Truth be told, both companies want the other to do well. A successful superhero movie can easily drive audiences out to see another one. For the most part, in my humble opinion, Marvel seems to be very successful making the jump to the big screen. Also in my humble opinion, DC is very successful... in their animated department. I don't think they are very good in their live action releases. So after quite a few missteps, can they take one of the most unpopular heroes and make him likable? 

I say unpopular, because Aquaman has always been the butt of many superhero jokes. 

However, he has gone through a few changes in recent years, to try to make him look cool. 

And now we have Jason Momoa. In the past, an Aquaman Hero Pose was a bit of an oxymoron. And now...

And as I'm sure millions (billions?) of women will agree, Jason Momoa is one of the reasons this movie works! I don't think he was necessarily 'acting'. He just showed up and was himself, which is actually pretty impressive. If you don't believe me, look up Jason Momoa throwing an axe, drinking beer, playing bass, or jumping off cliffs.

But with all that charisma, your co-star had better be able to keep up with you. And honestly, I don't think Mera (Amber Heard) could do it. The chemistry between them felt very forced, and her performance was just there. She looked great! But I don't think they're right for each other. Let's all say it together: "You can do better...!"

Ugh... I think?

Now Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) and Momoa have chemistry! Sadly, we don't get to see nearly enough of this relationship! The movie focuses primarily on his overly convoluted family issues and all the undersea ruling kingdoms. I understand why this was important for his origin story, but it felt like it dragged occasionally. And at a running time of 2 hours and 23 minutes, you do not want your undersea adventure to drag. Towards the end, it devolved into the Lord of the Rings, with billions of tiny CGI characters attacking billions of other tiny CGI characters. I found myself looking at the time asking them to wrap everything up quickly.

But for the rest of it, director James Wan made soooooo many beautiful shots! I might have drooled. This makes up for years of dark and depressing DC films. And fight choreography you can see FTW!!

"But Deeesher, how does it compare to other super hero movies???"

First, as you know, in recent years, there has been so many super hero movies, it becomes difficult to rank them. However, nerds will still find a way to do it. Marvel has raised the bar so high, it's not easy to reach that tier, but in some ways, I think this was a success. I enjoyed Aquaman, and I'm eager for a sequel, but I still think there are some suits in DC/WB that don't quite get it. 

For DC movies, Aquaman and Wonder Woman are both good in some ways, and not so good in other ways. But still this is the best DC has to offer in live action. Although, I stand behind my love of DC/CW season 1 and 2 of The Flash, and their crossovers are EPIC! Those should be theatrically released! *hint hint WB*

In comparison to Marvel movies, I would say Aquaman is better than:
Iron Man 3
Thor 1
and... (dare I say?) Doctor Strange and Spider-man Homecoming 
*ducks*

And by the way...

SOMEWHERE in the Atlantic...?  Shouldn't they be more PACIFIC???
LOLOLOLOLOL

*DISCLAIMER: Yes I wrote this review just so I could use that joke. I will also look for an opportunity to post it again on social media somewhere in the future.

My apologies,
Deeesher

Venom Review

Venom first appeared on another planet, when all the Marvel heroes and villains were gathered together to fight, in the twelve issue mini-series called Secret Wars (1984). 

At the time, it was just known as the 'black costume' that Spider-man discovered after ripping his regular Spidey-tights. It all seemed harmless enough, although there was the usual fan outcry hating the new look. When the limited series ended, and Spidey returned home, the plot thickened, as the costume seemed to slowly take over. Eventually, it bonded itself to Peter, and it really didn't want to let go. When he finally was able to literally pry it from his body, the alien blob slinked away only to find reporter Eddie Brock. The alien symbiote bonded with him, and called itself Venom... Marvel fanboys around the world squee'd with excitement. 

In 2007, super genius film director Sam Raimi was forced to include Venom in Spider-man 3. Yes, forced by Sony due to the popularity of the character. He really didn't want to do it... and it shows. The results were some of the most cringe-worthy moments in any comic book movie ever made. 

And now, in 2018, Sony releases a stand-alone Venom movie. Did they learn from their mistakes?

To clarify, while this movie is based on a Marvel comic book, it is NOT part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe of movies. Those movies are released through Disney. Venom is owned by Sony. So, there is zero connection between Venom and Thanos, or Avengers, or Captain America, or Iron Man, or Thor, or Ant-man, etc. It all has to do with copyrights that are equal parts confusing, and frustrating.

The popular opinion is to hate this movie, because how can you have Venom without Spider-man? So without the convoluted Secret Wars origin story, they simply went with the 'alien-life-form-brought-back-from-space' story, which was... acceptable. The 2007 movie used the same idea, as well as the original animated series, so it works based on that simple premise. 

I can't say I hated the movie, but there was still plenty to dislike. The most painful being the horrendous computer effects. To put it into perspective, The Abyss was one of the first movies to ever use CGI in 1989. There was a scene where they created a moving blob of water that looked pretty realistic. Thirty years ago, that scene looked far more realistic than any of the scenes with Venom. Did they not have a budget for the most important aspect of this movie, or did they just not care?

I'm also not a fan of Tom Hardy, who plays Eddie Brock. I don't see any charisma or personality in him whatsoever. You could replace him with a paper sack, and I would be as equally entertained. Although, in the 2007 version, we had Topher Grace, so... upgrade? 

I did however enjoy some of the banter between Brock and Venom. I might have even lol'd just a bit. Plus, if you overlook how bad the effects are, there are some good action moments... when the lens flare and smoke wasn't completely overpowering the scene.

When you compare Venom with the 2004 Halle Berry Catwoman movie, and the 2015 Fantastic Four reboot... it's not that bad! 

(Yes, you can use this quote for promotional purposes if you 'd like). 

If you're interested in seeing this, just lower your expectations, expect some bad effects and a few 'questionable' writing decisions, and you might like it. And if not, it's only ninety minutes long, so you won't lose too much time out of your life.

Deeesher

Avengers Infinity War Review

(Non Spoiler Review)
Wow...

Deeesher




Oh, you want more? Okay, let's put everything into perspective.

Ten years ago, Marvel had an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people, to see if they can become something more. It began with The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man in 2008. It continued with Captain America, and Thor, culminating into one awesome movie called Marvel's Avengers in 2012.

But they didn't stop there! That was only "Phase One".

They added a few sequels, plus other classic comic book characters to the line-up, from Doctor Strange, Ant-Man, Black Panther, Spider-man and eventually going into space to add my personal favorite, The Guardians of the Galaxy. Between the amazing cast, many genius directors, and of course epic writing, the real hero, Producer Kevin Feige, continued to understand what comic fans want from a super hero movie, with very few missteps.

So before going to see the newest Avengers movie, Infinity War, ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you like comic book/superhero movies?
2. Have you seen (and enjoyed) MOST of the Marvel movies from the last decade?

If you answer "no" to these questions... seriously, why the hell are you here???

I can only imagine you just wanted to read my goofy comments, because Infinity War is definitely NOT for you. It's a sequel, based on a long running series of movies. You don't necessarily have to watch them all to understand what's going on, but you should have some background into this universe before just blindly purchasing a ticket. And if this isn't your thing, that's fine. Please go see a Rom-com and stay out of my theater. I Feel Pretty is playing, or even Super Troopers 2, if you're into that sort of thing.

But for the rest of us... of course you'll love Infinity War!

It's not an exaggeration to call this movie 'epic'. Between the fantastic visuals featuring many different worlds, amazing characters, and and a well crafted story, Marvel Studios once again, gave us some impressive bang for our theater bucks.

Okay in fairness, I won't say this is the BEST Marvel movie ever. And going in, I did feel a bit 'meh' by the idea. There has been a lot of super hero movies in the last few years, and not all of them have been good. Some (misguided?) people are talking about "Super Hero Fatigue", because they can't imagine any need to make another one. To me, that's a ridiculous concept, because I'll always appreciate a new super hero movie. But I do think a lot of the marketing gets exhausting, and we are definitely getting unnecessarily overwhelmed by the hype. It would be easy for any studio to show one trailer 6 months before release date, without any other advertising, and they would still break box office records through word of nerd mouth.

And for myself, I've always preferred solo comic stories. Maybe a group ensemble is too much for my tiny brain to grasp. Even theatrically, I want one hero to focus on, because with so many characters, I can't imagine a director successfully telling a well balanced story.

But just as Joss Whedon did with the first two Avengers movies, the Russo Brothers figured out how to make a movie that fans could appreciate.

For the most part, they stuck with the Marvel formula, which admittedly consists of a LOT of CGI, and some jokes that felt a bit forced. Although I still did LOL a few times.

But if I can nitpick a moment, a few cosmetic things did bother me. And no, I'm not talking about Black Widow's blonde hair, (although that did feel somewhat irksome). I'm talking about the idea of Thor's short hair, and Captain America growing a beard. Are they turning into the same person??? They seem to be losing their identity.

And with Bucky's new beard, what happens if he decides to cut his hair?

I was also very underwhelmed with Hulk/Banner's involvement in the story. I've been a Hulk fan for many years, so I was disappointed with his portrayal. His particular story just didn't make any sense to me based on what I know of his character.

But everyone else seemed to be at the peak of their ability. Of course there were a lot of characters to follow, but the core of this movie was Thanos. Can I say Josh Brolin 'killed it'? We've seen him in the background for several previous movies, so it was great to see him finally step up and give quite a bit of depth to this character.

And one thing I normally look for in a movie, is heart. After ten years of getting to know these characters, plus many more decades of their legacy to appreciate, I can say there is plenty of things to get emotionally attached to. They've earned our love and respect. We do care about what happens to them. We genuinely care about who lives and who... dies.

Okay, not really a spoiler, because if you're familiar with the comic this is based on, you know some of the heroes die in this battle. I haven't read it (yet) but my extreme nerdy friends tell me there are some changes in the theatrical version, so don't go into this thinking you know what will happen. But also keep in mind, in the world of comic books, dead doesn't always mean dead.

However in the real world, there is one thing that could ultimately destroy Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Contract Negotiations. Some of the actors have chosen not to renew. Even though there are many sequels currently in production for the next few years, there could still be a few changes to the universe planned.

So for the most part, Infinity War is pretty awesome, and a lot of fun, but it's also the darkest in tone of all the Marvel movies.

"...But Deeesher, where does this rank with all the other Marvel movies???"
My friends and I are always trying to rate Marvel movies from favorite to least favorite since they began in 2008, so to help you understand things from my perspective, I'd like to present my personal ranking (my reviews clickable if I wrote one):

1. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
2. Avengers (2012)
3. Iron Man (2008)
4. Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2 (2017)
5. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
6. Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014)
7. Civil War (2016)
8. Infinity War (2018)
9. Ant-Man (2015)
10. Thor Ragnarok (2017)
11. Black Panther
12. Spider-Man Homecoming (2017)
13. Thor The Dark World (2013)
14. Avengers Age of Ultron (2015)
15. Doctor Strange (2016)
16. Iron Man 2 (2010)
17. The Incredible Hulk (2008) (my edit)
*DISCLAIMER - As a fan of the Hulk, I enjoyed this movie, however I felt there was some unnecessarily sappy moments. Many great scenes were also deleted that I would have kept. So I created a version that felt better in many ways. Although I still think Liv Tyler was a poor casting choice for Betty, my edit improved many other aspects of this movie.

18. Thor (2011)
19. Iron Man 3 (2013)

I seriously hope this is on the blu-ray as a deleted scene...

Deeesher

Wonder Woman Review

There are so many things I could say about women, and their portrayal in movies and television!  But as a guy, I'm extremely unqualified to write anything about it, and just barely smart enough to know that I shouldn't even try.

And I really can't say I'm an expert on Wonder Woman either, because I've never followed the comics.  But, I loved the Lynda Carter 1975-1979 series!  She's always been the perfect embodiment of what I felt Wonder Woman should be.  If you're interested, I recommend watching season two and three when the show was moved to a new network and took place in modern times. Even as a kid watching, I remember thinking the World War II stories in season one were cheesy. 

I'd also suggest the Justice League animated series from 2001 which often featured Wonder Woman, as well as her solo animated movie from 2009.  For a long time, I kept shouting, "Why don't they make a live action version of this!"  

But nobody ever listens to me.  Instead, we get:

Is it wrong for me to ask how this version of Wonder Woman... stacks up to others?   I have a feeling I will be apologizing a lot after writing this...

Traditionally, Wonder Woman was associated with World War II.  However, someone at DC/WB decided to move her origin story a bit further back to begin in World War I.  This way nobody would try to confuse/compare it with Marvel/Disney's Captain America: The First Avenger.  But in the world of 2017, I don't think people notice the difference.  It's still a war against Germans.

And the Amazon women on the island of Themyscira don't know the difference either, because they are hidden and completely isolated from the world of men (which could be for the best).  Until Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) shows up accidentally, bringing the war with him.  Typical. 

Yes, this is an origin story.  And as far as theatrical superhero/heroine origins go, this was awesome!  After so many misses from DC/WB, it's nice to finally see them do it right.  They created a fun and cohesive story that kept me entertained from beginning to end.  In my (simple) mind, I don't think they made a movie for women or for men.  They just made a movie that everyone could enjoy.  And if someone tries to tell you it's just a rip-off of Captain America... they're an idiot!  Other than fighting Germans in a war, there are soooo many differences.   

And yes, I know casting Gal Gadot as Diana was not anyone's first choice (or second... or third choice).  But she did fine.  I sort of accepted her accent since she was far removed from America.  I could even accept her physicality for the role.  I know prior to filming, she had been training hard to appear less frail, and it showed.  She had the intensity when needed, but remained feminine as well.  She also played a great fish out of water character, but still appeared emotionally invested during key moments.  I didn't see her (or anyone in the cast) delivering an Oscar winning performance, but none of the acting took me out of the movie either.  I did appreciate all the key characters.  Everyone in their final ensemble were well crafted and interesting, creating a lot of depth to the story.

But all hail the real Wonder Woman here:  Director Patty Jenkins.  I could see the action, and I loved her use of colors!  *gasp*  I don't think DC/WB has accepted color since Christopher Nolan banned them in Batman Begins from 2005.  To me, this has always been the biggest difference between the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and DC.  Marvel knew how to make things colorful.  DC seemed to film everything in mud... in the dark.  After seeing how well Wonder Woman worked visually, I sincerely hope that DC/WB producers can finally understand that sharp reds, blues, and well lit scenes will not terrify audiences.

And I know, a lot of people have said that Patty's use of slow motion during fight scenes was overused, and most likely stolen from Zack Snyder.  To this I say Bah!  I always loved the slow motion fights from Zack!  But I don't think she borrowed/stole this idea from him.  Maybe producers heavily suggested it to her, but I clearly remember watching awesome fight scenes on television from the Six Million Dollar Man, Bionic Woman, Incredible Hulk, AND Wonder Woman, where they often fought in slow motion.  Those were fun!  Okay, sure it's always nice if a movie has impressive fight choreography, but to me, I want to see the camera pulled back so I can watch it.  Sadly, too often you can't see it because the camera is so close, or the scene is edited too quickly.  If those are my options, I'll take slow mo any day.   

So yes, I was pleasantly surprised at how enjoyable Wonder Woman was.  Maybe if you're not into fantasy/comic book stories, this isn't really for you.  But if you are, it's a very well directed movie, with some interesting characters, while making some very powerful statements about war, and gender differences, without being preachy.

But I still think they created the worst theme song ever (which originated in Batman vs Superman).  That annoying guitar riff seemed a bit more buried in orchestration here, but it was still there, grinding painfully into my brain.  Maybe they should have let a woman create her theme song.

Okay, I think I've done enough mansplaining for now.

Deeesher

Fantastic Four 2015 Review

There is a very good reason superheroes have always been popular.  They were fun.  Most kids (and many adults) read comic books because it made them smile.  It's a chance to escape the real world for a while, and imagine something... fantastic.  It's nice to read about someone unique, and maybe thinking of yourself in their place with amazing powers, helping save the world by defeating evildoers.

It is very clear that someone at Fox never got that concept when making the newest reboot of Fantastic Four.

And I can already hear you saying, "Hey Deeesher, please tell me we get to see another origin story!!"  Why yes, you clueless idiot, we get to spend half of the movie (two thirds?) learning how they get their powers.   But I'm sure if you're reading this blog, you already knew how it happened, because you have an interest in this kinda thing, and you're familiar with the comics.  Or maybe you saw one of a few different animated versions... or you saw the 2005 movie... or it's sequel.... or you saw the 1995 Roger Corman version.  Either way, we get to hear how all this happened... again! 

In the interest of full disclosure, this movie is based on the 2004 comic reboot of Fantastic Four, written by Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar, so it is slightly different from the original idea.  The biggest difference, instead of going into space to get powers, they develop inter-dimensional travel.  And they're much younger.  Okay, even in the comic version, this bothered me.  Traditionally, Spider-man was young.  Reed Richards was an older guy.  But whatever.  

In the comic version, we see football player with a heart, Ben Grimm, eager to help protect young Reed Richards from bullies in school.  In the movie version, young Reed is picked on by students and teachers alike.  Young Ben has his own problems at home with his dysfunctional family.  And in one of the more painful moments in the film, we hear Ben's father shout, "It's clobberin' time!" before he beats up his kid.

Sadly, the painful writing decisions do not stop there.  I won't even discuss how a bunch of young kids (well, early twenties) break into a top secret government facility to do some secret experiments on some ginormous machine, without anyone noticing.  Nor will I discuss their disjointed story arc for Dr. Doom (Toby Kebbell).  

To me, the most uncomfortable part of this entire fiasco, was what happened immediately after they got their powers.  To be blunt, it was horrific, and nightmare-inducing.

For comparison, here is what happened in that 2004 comic, shortly after Ben Grimm and Johnny Storm got their powers (click on the pictures to see full sized and read their reactions).

Cute.  Light.  Confusing to the characters, but still fun and lighthearted enough to be enjoyed. 

In the movie, the government straps them down in isolated rooms, studying them as they scream in fear and agony.  Reed (Miles Teller) manages to escape, only to find his rocky friend, Ben (Jamie Bell), begging for his help in terror.  The music, the tone and atmosphere are so far away from the original concept of fun, it was difficult to endure watching.  Nothing about this is fun, or inspiring.  I imagine kids watching, clutching their mother figure tightly, crying, "Mom, I don't want to explore strange new worlds or ever get super powers!  I just want to be an accountant!"

And going from this uncomfortable sequence, we instantly get ONE YEAR LATER, and see them using their powers for government work.

So what happened?  The film has only been out a few days, and director Josh Trank has already started making excuses and blames the studio for not allowing him to do what he wanted.  He directed Chronicle, which I really loved!  And in Fantastic Four, in his defense, he didn't use much shaky cam and when there was action, you could follow it easily.  But everything else was just dark and lifeless.

The acting was... fine.  Nobody stood out.  Nobody was horrible.  They did their job.  And to be clear, making Sue Storm (Kate Mara) the white blonde adopted sister to black Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan), seemed one more unnecessary plot point.  If they wanted to make the Storm family, including Sue, all black, that's great!  If they wanted to make Reed and Ben black, that's great too!  If they wanted to have an all female cast, that's fine as well!  To clarify, I have no problem if a black family wants to adopt a white daughter.  But wasn't there enough of a story to focus on, that you had to add this element too? 

Fantastic Four was created by Marvel Comics, but this was not a Marvel movie production.  This was made by Fox.  Marvel makes movies fun for fans.  They figured out the formula.  The proof is watching Avengers, or Captain America, or Iron Man, or Guardians of the Galaxy, or most recently Ant Man.  

Fox also made the 2005 version of Fantastic Four and it's sequel.  Some people didn't like them, but for me, they seemed enjoyable for the most part.  I preferred the 2007 sequel, Rise of the Silver Surfer more than the 2005 movie (even if their vision of Galactus was a bit... off). 

Maybe my opinion was skewed by Jessica Alba?  Well.... not that much.

Okay, maybe it was,
Deeesher

Guardians of the Galaxy Review

The year was 1968.  The first ATM machine was installed in the US, the first Big Mac was sold, and 911 was invented (all totally unrelated... probably). And Marvel Comics, who had only recently brought you The Incredible Hulk, Spider-man, Fantastic Four and X-Men, decided to create a sci-fi story set in the year 3007.  It revolved around a group of unusual heroes from different planets, gathering together to battle the evil race of lizard creatures who had taken over their home worlds.  It was called, Guardians of the Galaxy!

And it has very little to do with the 2014 Marvel movie release of the same name!

I know what you're saying, "WTF, Deeesher?!?"  First, watch your language.  And second, Marvel created a huge universe of characters, and sometimes over the years... things change.  The movie is more closely related to the 2008 Marvel comic, called Guardians of the Galaxy (vol. 2).

If you're into "reading", like some of the kids do today, this book really is a lot of fun, with great unique characters and interesting storylines.  And in the tradition of Marvel comic book movies, (not to be confused with Sony, Fox, OR especially Warner Bros. comic book movies), they nailed it again! 

Imagine being eight years old, and your life on modern day planet earth sucks.  Then suddenly aliens kidnap you, take you to space, and you get to grow up and essentially become Han Solo.  You get to fly around in spaceships, meet strange aliens and visit different planets.  That's the life of Peter Quill, aka Star-Lord.  Cast perfectly by the actor who was born to play him, Chris Pratt.

Not enough fun for you?  I could go on about how awesome and unique the entire cast of characters are, but I would just be rambling (more than I normally do).  Maybe I should talk about what a great sense of humor the movie has, but still knows when to be serious.  Maybe I should say something about how solid the story is, and how well it connects with everything else in the Marvel universe, both movies and comics.  And yes, it does have connections to other Marvel movies as well as hidden easter eggs from the comics and movies that I am eager to freeze frame.  And to be clear, some things are a bit different from the comic, but I have always said, if you are going to change something from the source material, make it a good change... and it is.

I could also talk about what a great job director James Gunn did, creating a beautiful galaxy you want to explore and live in.  I could say things about how the action scenes are well shot and you can see what's happening *gasp*!

If I wanted to say anything bad about this movie, I don't think I could.  BUT... if I want to be nitpicky, as beautifully as it was created, there were no visually over the top moments.  For example, in a movie like Avengers, we have a few great scenes that Joss Whedon created that felt epic.  James Gunn did a fantastic job, and Knowhere, for example, looked amazing!  But... I don't know.  Maybe I should just shut up now.

Many people have compared this movie to the feelings they had seeing the original Star Wars: A New Hope.  I can easily agree with this comparison, especially since I don't see JJ Abrams doing anything with that franchise to impress me!  This is the type of movie that can be made when they have respect for the fans and source material.  So please, promote good things, (since it seems too rare these days), and go see Guardians of the Galaxy!

Then we can have conversations about who is hotter, Gamora (Zoe Saldana) or  Nebula (Karen Gillan)

Deeesher

X-Men Days of Future Past Review

I think we can all agree, X-Men: The Last Stand (X-Men 3, 2006) wasn't that great.  I might even go so far to say it sucked.  I think we can also agree, Wolverine: Origins (2009) sucked.  Of course you can disagree, and everyone is welcome to an opinion.  And my opinion is, if you enjoyed those movies, you are way too easily impressed by superhero movies... or maybe you just hate me. 

But not every X-related movie is horrible!  The original X-Men and X2, released by Twentieth Century Fox, were two of the more impressive superhero movies ever released... until Marvel Studios started producing their own comic book based movies.  So check your scorecard kids:

Marvel Studios  

Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk 

Awesome! 

Twentieth Century Fox 

X-Men, Wolverine, Fantastic Four 

Anywhere from cool, to meh, to sucks.

Sony Pictures 

Spider-man 

 ....don't get me started.

Now that we're on the same page in our comic books, where does this put X-Men Days of Future Past?

Starting in the future, we have giant creepy mechanical Sentinels pretty much destroying the world and wiping out everything they hate... and it seems they hate a lot of things, but mostly mutants.  So our heroes figure out a way to send Wolverine back to 1973 to convince younger versions of Professor X and Magneto to work together to stop all this from ever starting, even though they hate each other.

I used to read a lot of comic books, and I know someone talked me into collecting this particular storyline way back then.  At the time, I remember liking the idea, but was a bit confused by the details.  Maybe I didn't get it, because I wasn't a regular reader of X titles... or maybe because I'm not one of those 'smart' people.  So as confusing as the original concept may have been, DOFP made it all very cohesive and easy to follow for a simple guy like me.

As much as I appreciated this, I think many comic book purists might be offended by some of the changes... which is too bad, because it was presented very well.  And isn't putting out the best version of the story the most important aspect?

In the comics, I would expect them to follow every nuance of history they created, and stay loyal to the people who have collected this title for many years.  But in theaters, they are trying to reach a wider audience, and at the end of the day, they want to make money.  So taking a comic book frame by frame and making it into a movie is a great concept, but generally I don't think it works so well.  Why?  Because these might be new characters to some viewers.  Or maybe like me, they get easily confused.  Movies like Sin City and 300 are rare exceptions, partly because they don't have years of history and backstory to cover.  But even 300 needed to add a subplot with Leonidas's wife to give it more substance.  

In the end it's a simple equation:
Is your movie written well?  
If you answer yes, then those changes are acceptable and maybe even enjoyable.
If you answered no, then your movie really sucks AND you've made a lot of fans very angry. 

So thumbs up to Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn for making a pretty good story.  Not great... but pretty good.

Bryan Singer also did a pretty good job as director.  He directed the original X-Men movies, and it shows how much he appreciates working in this world.  He made action sequences I could see!  Which is always nice and appreciated in a world of shaky cameras and split second editing.  I loved the future Sentinels, as well as their 70's versions too.  There was nothing overly artistic about his style, but he did the job well enough and told a decent story visually. 

The entire cast did a great job too, from Hugh Jackman (Huge Assman?), to SIR Patrick Stewart, Sir Ian McKellen, Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy and the mostly naked Jennifer Lawrence.  As much as I dislike Halle Berry being in this franchise, I'll even accept her here... barely.  EXTRA huge awesomeness to Evan Peters as Quicksilver!  I wanted more!

But I do have one small problem (no pun intended)...  Peter Dinklage.

Before everyone starts booing me and calling me a racist (or whatever I would be for not liking little people), I LOVE Peter Dinklage!  I think he is one of the best actors today, big or small.  I've loved him since the first episode of Game of Thrones and I really hope they don't kill him off any time soon.  I sincerely think his acting in DOFP was fantastic!  But... my problem is casting him as Trask.  The character from the comic is not 'height challenged'.  And the sad reality is, in 1973, I don't think someone with his height would have risen to such a powerful position.  In 2014, we are just beginning to accept people no matter their race, color, religion or physical appearance (and even today it seems like some still can't overlook those things).  So seeing him in this role, I needed more.  Maybe the writers dropped the ball here and needed to give us some background story.  Maybe more was written, but was unfortunately edited out for time.  I would have accepted him easier if we knew how and why he got to this position in the close-minded world of the 70's.

So after doing some fancy calculations and new math, I would put X-Men: Days of Future Past as pretty good.  In the ever increasing list of superhero movies, this goes above Thor 1, and Iron Man 3. Dare I say above Iron Man 2?  Although Iron Man 2 had Scarlett Johansson... DOFP had a mostly naked Jennifer Lawrence.

Deeesher 

Iron Man 3 Review

Remember when I used to have regular prescriptions to comic books?  Yes, I meant prescriptions, not subscriptions,  cause they cured what ailed you.  I regularly followed The Incredible Hulk, and Spider-man, and occasionally Batman and/or Superman.  But for me, I was only mildly aware of Iron Man.  He showed up at times in crossovers, but for the most part, I was bored with him.

Then in 2009, director Jon Favreau released the first Iron Man movie.  And God bless his little heart, it was awesome!  Soon after, Favreau  gave us a sequel, aptly named Iron Man 2 (review here), which was also very freakin' cool!  And last year, director Joss Whedon released Avengers, which was chock full of superhero goodness, and it completely melted our brains with how nerd-tastic it was (review here).

Now it's 2013, can director Shane Black continue to make Iron Man someone I could still lust after, (in a very heterosexual way) with Iron Man 3?

Here we have Tony Stark, losing sleep and in recovery from the events in Avengers.  Then suddenly (and perhaps too casually?), we have a terrorist names Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), randomly terrorizing people by blowing stuff up.  Tony gets annoyed, threatens him, then we have the rest of the movie.

And quite honestly, the rest feels sort of thrown together.  It's like someone was eager to finish the trilogy.  Which is a bad concept overall, when you realize there will be an Avengers 2, and most likely Avengers 3, staring... Iron Man!  Awkward...

Robert Downey Jr. is still Iron Man.  Or more to the point, he's still Tony Stark, who, for the most part, is still a fun character.  But it seems a bit unbalanced, like this movie should have been called Tony Stark, because there seems to be a serious lack of him being Iron Man.  Sure there is plenty of mech, but generally his suit is either falling apart, or it's automated.

I also have a real problem with Tony suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome from his Avengers adventure.  Isn't the whole concept of Tony Stark someone that kicks ass for the fun of it???  Exhausted yes, but mentally debilitating to him?  I think not.

Now let's talk about Mandarin.  *sigh*  Ben Kingsley did a great job but, after all the hype from the previews, this character is a very big disappointment.

Director Shane Black made a movie.  It fulfilled the requirements as a comic book movie, but this will always be my least favorite of the franchise, partly for story, and partly for directing.  Unfortunately, we have to suffer through some annoying shaky camera moments this time, which made me miss Favreau and Joss more and more.

I really feel like this Iron Man could have been a straight to video release, and it would be great.  But after Favreau and my BFF Joss Whedon raised the bar so high, it's difficult for anyone else to know what to do with the character.  Go see it anyway, and just shut off your brain for a while, and you'll be fine.

If all else fails, you can still enjoy some Pepper Potts (Gwenyth Paltrow)?

Deeesher

Another Spiderman Movie

%@&#! reboots. I hate them. I throw up in my mouth a bit every time I hear the word. Sure there are occasional happy surprises like the 1978 reboot of 1956's Invasion of the Body Snatchers, or 2009's Friday the 13th, or the 1982 remake of the 1951 movie The Thing (and yes I am ignoring the 2011 reboot here). Even the Fright Night reboot was kind of okay. But sadly, 98% of the time, reboots are only a painful reminder of how stupid most movies of the 21st century are.

But wait... What if you reboot a successful movie franchise that started in the 21st century??? What an amazingly moronic idea! With that, Sony Pictures presents: The Amazing Spider-man! Not to be confused with Spider-man 2002.

Do I really need to tell anyone what this movie is about? It's another origin story. I'm pretty sure everyone in America from 8 to 80 could write an origin story for Spider-man. Radioactive spider bites friendly neighborhood nerd... Do the math. Then add Gwen Stacy and The Lizard.

As much as I loved the 2002 version, this 'reboot' wasn't bad. Sure it had it's flaws, and I would never call it 'Amazing', but it was one more decent superhero movie from a growing list of other enjoyable superhero movies.

Director Marc Webb, does a decent job, but I'll always wonder if he got the job because of his name. You might remember him from one of his other action movies like... um... Well okay, he had a romantic comedy (500 Days of Summer), that I heard was fairly successful. At times his action was the typical quick edits, and close-ups so you couldn't quite see what was going on, but not often enough to annoy. He does deserve a pat on the head for his efforts, but he's no Sam Raimi.

Now let's compare our Peters. Tobey Maguire (2002 Peter) vs Andrew Garfield (2012 Peter). This was a surprisingly close race in my mind. I've always liked Tobey's Peter, but I have to admit, I quickly accepted Garfield's Peter without a second thought. There were moments where I felt Garfield was a bit too cocky, but in the end, he fit nicely.

I was also quick to accept Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben. I was worried I would only see The Illusive Man from Mass Effect, but he was just as good for Peter as Cliff Robertson was in 2002.

Now let's talk about the not-so-amazing parts.

I love Emma Stone. I wouldn't say I'm stalker material yet, but I did consider it after seeing her in Zombieland. However, I couldn't see her as Gwen Stacy, 17 year old high school genius with an internship in a huge high tech facility who has access to every room in the building. But then, what do I know about 17 year old girls these days.

I also thought Doc Connors (aka The Lizard, aka actor Rhys Ifans) was a bit one dimensional. And as impressive as they made The Lizard, they should have made a bit more effort on his face. Is a lizard snout so difficult to animate???

Then we have Sally Field as Aunt May. This worked if you forget everything you know about Aunt May. But I think at this point in her career, Sally Field will always be Sally Field in anything she does. And Denis Leary was a fine Captain Stacy but nothing 'amazing' here either.

The biggest problem this movie suffers from, is retelling another origin story. We know where he came from! You told us a few years ago, and we remember cause you did it right!  If you forget everything you know about Spider-man from comics, or the 2002 version, it's not a bad story.  The things it did well were done very well, but Amazing Spider-man will never be Amazing like The Avengers, or Iron Man, or even 1978 Superman. I give it a pretty good, but I wonder how well tickets to The Pretty Good Spider-man would sell.

Now let's compare it to Electric Company Spider-man, Nicholas Hammond 1977 Spider-man, and of course, Japanese Spider-man!

Deeesher

Avengers Review

Dear Joss Whedon, I hate you.  Sure our relationship has had its ups and downs, (ups being things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer the TV series, Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, and most recently Cabin in the Woods.  Downs being things like Dollhouse and Alien: Resurrection ).  But this is the last straw.  You humiliated me in front of my friends by proving me wro...  not entirely correct.

We've known about The Avengers movie for a few years now, and I've said repeatedly, it can't be done!  How can anyone successfully combine several major superheroes from Marvel comics, and create a grown-up movie, with a decent plot, plenty of action, and still devote a fair amount of time to each character?

The Ultra Nerds among us have followed the setup of each hero, from their individual origin movies released in recent years.  From Captain America (with Chris Evans, and my review here), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr, in Iron Man 1 and 2, with a review for 2 here), and even The Incredible Hulk, (the 2008 Hulk starring Edward Norton, not the Ang Lee directed 2003 version.  I have decided to disavow the 2003 version for many reasons).  Each character was fully developed in their solo movie, and all was  nicely tied together through teasers featuring Nick Fury (played by the baddest M*F* to ever wear an eye patch, Samuel L. Jackson), and/or Agent Coulson (awesomely played each time by Clark Gregg)... and in the case of Iron Man, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) *insert yummy sounds here*.
 
And now, you bring them all together to battle Loki, (Tom Hiddleston), aka Thor's brother.  Loki wants to enslave mankind because... well, because he can.  And if anyone wears a helmet with horns that big, I say you can do pretty much anything you want at that point.

I have said the only way this could work, is in a TV series.  I've said the plot will suffer.  I've said one hero will be the focus, and everyone else will be secondary.  Joss, I hate you, because somehow... you made it all work.

The characters were equally balanced and nobody was a main focus.  The story was simple enough but well written enough to work.  And your directing...  I could see the action clearly, and many scenes could have been taken out of the movie and made into a beautiful painting, suitable for framing your favorite hero and sold for way too much money at any Comic-con.  I regularly found myself grinning like a nerd discovering a box of golden age comics in mint condition in a forgotten box in his attic.  Why would you do this to me???

Well, before you start thinking you're perfect, I did find a few minor flaws, (and I use the word 'flaws' very loosely here).  Banner/Hulk (this time played by Mark Ruffalo) has always been a personal favorite of mine, so the super-nerd in me wants to protect his story and keep it safely sealed in a Mylar Bag with a board behind it.  His origin story and Hulk's behavior felt a bit conveniently written as if hoping nobody would notice.  It all seemed a bit shady to me.  And Mark Ruffalo himself mostly worked well, but at times he looked more like Reed Richards with that bit of grey in his hair.  And remember how impressive Hulk looked in his own movie?  Your version felt a bit too CGI in places.

I would also have liked to have learned a bit more about Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and Black Widow (did I mention yummy?), since they didn't get an origin movie.  But with a running time of 142 minutes, I can understand why many details were maybe edited out.  I imagine many things will be restored in the Blu-ray release.  Might I also suggest including several slow motion scenes of Black Widow getting in and out of her outfit?

But otherwise, you did it right, and this is truly a nerd fantasy come to life...  And I hate you for proving me wro... whatever.
Sincerely,
Deeesher

Now that I have that out of the way...

Dear Scarlett Johanson, I love you...

Oh Captain My Captain... America

Yay for World War II!!! Wait... That came out very wrong, (although maybe a bit better than saying Yay for Hitler!). But you have to admit, without World War II, we wouldn't have awesome things like Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Werewolf Women of the SS, or Nazi Zombies... or Captain America!

I know what you're saying now, “But Deeesher, how can you say Captain America is awesome when you don't own any of his comic books!” First, what makes you think I collect comic books? Oh... *sigh*. And second, you're right, I have never had any interest in Cap (as his friends call him). In fact, he always seemed like a virus that just wouldn't go away! Every time I turned around, Captain America was making an appearance somewhere. Not really doing anything, just looking... buff. And when I first heard about the movie version, I did some serious eye rolling. You know, it was the same eye rolling I did when I heard about Thor, and Green Lantern, and another re-boot of Spider-man, and The upcoming Avengers movie. I'm all for a good comic book movie but I'm starting to wonder if everyone has run out of original ideas. Wait... don't answer that.

Because I'm not familiar with the original Captain America comic, I'm not entirely sure of his origin, so I have nothing to base the premise of this movie on, beyond what I know. And from what I know, it seemed authentic enough. Most of the movie takes place in 1940's at the height of World War II. And all hail director Joe Johnston who kept everything looking very authentically 1940's, with all it's dull earth tones, and the massive machine's and their giant dials and levers to the innocent sounding dialogue. Nobody said golly gee whiz, but I prepared myself for the possibility.

So we have overly eager but digitally shrunken and wussy-looking Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) trying to be all he can be in the army, when one day a kindly old scientist (Stanley Tucci) takes an interest in him (a story we've heard a million times before). After shooting him up with tons of experimental drugs, he comes out big and buff... sort of like me, (as far as you know), and eager to fight bad guys like Red Skull, (played by Hugo Weaving who made a great Elf, and Agent, and now he makes a great Nazi).

It's a simple plot, with some good action which makes it easy for my tiny brain to digest. And I'm far from patriotic (if you're really brave, read my political views here), but what makes Captain America work, is he is a hero! Sure most every country in the world hates us (with good reason) but I think most any country would be proud to have this man represent them. It just so happens that he has the name America, and not *insert country name here followed by obvious stereotype regarding said country here*. He put it all in perspective at the beginning of the movie, when they asked if he wanted to kill Nazi's. He said, “I don't want to kill anybody. I don't like bullies; I don't care where they're from.” That is a hero I can respect!

I saw Captain America: The First Avenger (the official title... whatever), in 3D (whatever again). I feel the same about 3D as I do all these comic book movies. Sometimes it works, but most times it seems unnecessary. This time, it sometimes worked, but you could save the extra few bucks and see it in two dimensions and your life will be just fine.

It was nice to see a director who knows how to edit a good action scene so you can actually see the action (what a concept!), but there isn't much about the overall style (beyond the bland 40's look) that jumped out and overly impressed me. I also thought, as impressive as the digitally shrunken Chris Evans was, they should have done something with his voice. It just seemed a bit odd hearing this deep manly voice coming from such a tiny body.

There is definitely a lot to enjoy about this movie so go check it out. And finally, if you're hoping for something sexy in your 40's flick, check out these gams...!

Yea, if you're not into staring at Chris Evans overly manly sized body (and why would anyone want to see that???), Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) showing off a bit of leg is as sexy as it gets for you...

Deeesher

Heavy Metals

I recently got this very cool Moviefone app for my phone. With a quick punch of a button, I can see what's playing, show times, theaters, and even running times. Sure, I do miss the manly '...Hello! And welcome to Moviefone!' voice, but if I say it myself every time I use the app, it sort of makes up for it... because I sound that happy and manly too.

I used this app when I was looking for the IMAX version of Iron Man 2. With a spring in my step, I made my way to my local IMAX theater, only to discover one important flaw with my super-cool new app... It doesn't show am or pm! Surprise! Oh sure, I could have found another theater, or came back much much later, but it's rare I get out in public, and I didn't want to find that kind of courage to leave my home again. So I had to see Iron Man 2 on a frumpy old regular tiny baby-sized movie screen! How could I really enjoy a movie of this magnitude like that! I was obviously very concerned, and it didn't help that everyone had already told me how great this movie is, (and I have found if you have such huge-o-mongous expectations for a movie, it's guaranteed to disappoint!).

Despite all those hurdles and hardships for me to overcome, I freakin' loved it! Oh let me count the ways...

The story was fun and simple enough: Tony Stark deals with being a corporate success, as well as a superhero, with tons of money, and hot chicks, all while battling politics and people that want to kill him. The way his life mirrored my own was eerie!

It also helped that it was an action movie where you could see the action*gasp*! Jon Favreau rules! He figured out that a shaky camera, and ultra-fast edits, with the camera up the actors nose, just doesn't work! I hope other directors can get the hint...*COUGH*j.j. abrams*COUGH*michael bay*COUGH*
Robert Downey Jr, continues to be a very flawed and eccentric hero who is as much fun to watch this time as he was in the first Iron Man. And of course every hero needs a good memorable bad guy. This time, we get TWO! Both different, but you love to hate them all the same. Mickey Rourke as Ivan Vanko (Whiplash) who has come a long way from the pervert of 9 ½ Weeks, and Sam Rockwell (who we saw most recently going insane on the Moon), as the satisfyingly annoying Justin Hammer.

Oh and did I mention hot chicks? TWO yet again! Yummy Gwenyth Paltrow, (Pepper Pots), and equally as yummy Scarlett Johansson as the ass kicking Natalie Romanoff wearing her super sexy tight catsuit, (aka Black Widow, for the nerd elite).

I really liked the first Iron Man, but was 2 better? My crack staff of research scientists crunched all the numbers, and concluded... not quite! But it was a very close race! Mostly because his origin story felt very inspiring and I loved seeing the first time he did some ass kicking.

Be sure to keep a close eye on this movie for more sneak peeks of the upcoming Avengers movie to be released in 2012. Personally, I think with so much build-up, and so many characters, this is destined to suck! Hey, is that a huge crowd of nerds gathering outside with torches and pitchforks shouting obscenities at me?

Maybe this will slow them down a bit...

Deeesher