Avengers Review

Dear Joss Whedon, I hate you.  Sure our relationship has had its ups and downs, (ups being things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer the TV series, Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, and most recently Cabin in the Woods.  Downs being things like Dollhouse and Alien: Resurrection ).  But this is the last straw.  You humiliated me in front of my friends by proving me wro...  not entirely correct.

We've known about The Avengers movie for a few years now, and I've said repeatedly, it can't be done!  How can anyone successfully combine several major superheroes from Marvel comics, and create a grown-up movie, with a decent plot, plenty of action, and still devote a fair amount of time to each character?

The Ultra Nerds among us have followed the setup of each hero, from their individual origin movies released in recent years.  From Captain America (with Chris Evans, and my review here), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr, in Iron Man 1 and 2, with a review for 2 here), and even The Incredible Hulk, (the 2008 Hulk starring Edward Norton, not the Ang Lee directed 2003 version.  I have decided to disavow the 2003 version for many reasons).  Each character was fully developed in their solo movie, and all was  nicely tied together through teasers featuring Nick Fury (played by the baddest M*F* to ever wear an eye patch, Samuel L. Jackson), and/or Agent Coulson (awesomely played each time by Clark Gregg)... and in the case of Iron Man, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) *insert yummy sounds here*.
 
And now, you bring them all together to battle Loki, (Tom Hiddleston), aka Thor's brother.  Loki wants to enslave mankind because... well, because he can.  And if anyone wears a helmet with horns that big, I say you can do pretty much anything you want at that point.

I have said the only way this could work, is in a TV series.  I've said the plot will suffer.  I've said one hero will be the focus, and everyone else will be secondary.  Joss, I hate you, because somehow... you made it all work.

The characters were equally balanced and nobody was a main focus.  The story was simple enough but well written enough to work.  And your directing...  I could see the action clearly, and many scenes could have been taken out of the movie and made into a beautiful painting, suitable for framing your favorite hero and sold for way too much money at any Comic-con.  I regularly found myself grinning like a nerd discovering a box of golden age comics in mint condition in a forgotten box in his attic.  Why would you do this to me???

Well, before you start thinking you're perfect, I did find a few minor flaws, (and I use the word 'flaws' very loosely here).  Banner/Hulk (this time played by Mark Ruffalo) has always been a personal favorite of mine, so the super-nerd in me wants to protect his story and keep it safely sealed in a Mylar Bag with a board behind it.  His origin story and Hulk's behavior felt a bit conveniently written as if hoping nobody would notice.  It all seemed a bit shady to me.  And Mark Ruffalo himself mostly worked well, but at times he looked more like Reed Richards with that bit of grey in his hair.  And remember how impressive Hulk looked in his own movie?  Your version felt a bit too CGI in places.

I would also have liked to have learned a bit more about Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and Black Widow (did I mention yummy?), since they didn't get an origin movie.  But with a running time of 142 minutes, I can understand why many details were maybe edited out.  I imagine many things will be restored in the Blu-ray release.  Might I also suggest including several slow motion scenes of Black Widow getting in and out of her outfit?

But otherwise, you did it right, and this is truly a nerd fantasy come to life...  And I hate you for proving me wro... whatever.
Sincerely,
Deeesher

Now that I have that out of the way...

Dear Scarlett Johanson, I love you...

Oh Captain My Captain... America

Yay for World War II!!! Wait... That came out very wrong, (although maybe a bit better than saying Yay for Hitler!). But you have to admit, without World War II, we wouldn't have awesome things like Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Werewolf Women of the SS, or Nazi Zombies... or Captain America!

I know what you're saying now, “But Deeesher, how can you say Captain America is awesome when you don't own any of his comic books!” First, what makes you think I collect comic books? Oh... *sigh*. And second, you're right, I have never had any interest in Cap (as his friends call him). In fact, he always seemed like a virus that just wouldn't go away! Every time I turned around, Captain America was making an appearance somewhere. Not really doing anything, just looking... buff. And when I first heard about the movie version, I did some serious eye rolling. You know, it was the same eye rolling I did when I heard about Thor, and Green Lantern, and another re-boot of Spider-man, and The upcoming Avengers movie. I'm all for a good comic book movie but I'm starting to wonder if everyone has run out of original ideas. Wait... don't answer that.

Because I'm not familiar with the original Captain America comic, I'm not entirely sure of his origin, so I have nothing to base the premise of this movie on, beyond what I know. And from what I know, it seemed authentic enough. Most of the movie takes place in 1940's at the height of World War II. And all hail director Joe Johnston who kept everything looking very authentically 1940's, with all it's dull earth tones, and the massive machine's and their giant dials and levers to the innocent sounding dialogue. Nobody said golly gee whiz, but I prepared myself for the possibility.

So we have overly eager but digitally shrunken and wussy-looking Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) trying to be all he can be in the army, when one day a kindly old scientist (Stanley Tucci) takes an interest in him (a story we've heard a million times before). After shooting him up with tons of experimental drugs, he comes out big and buff... sort of like me, (as far as you know), and eager to fight bad guys like Red Skull, (played by Hugo Weaving who made a great Elf, and Agent, and now he makes a great Nazi).

It's a simple plot, with some good action which makes it easy for my tiny brain to digest. And I'm far from patriotic (if you're really brave, read my political views here), but what makes Captain America work, is he is a hero! Sure most every country in the world hates us (with good reason) but I think most any country would be proud to have this man represent them. It just so happens that he has the name America, and not *insert country name here followed by obvious stereotype regarding said country here*. He put it all in perspective at the beginning of the movie, when they asked if he wanted to kill Nazi's. He said, “I don't want to kill anybody. I don't like bullies; I don't care where they're from.” That is a hero I can respect!

I saw Captain America: The First Avenger (the official title... whatever), in 3D (whatever again). I feel the same about 3D as I do all these comic book movies. Sometimes it works, but most times it seems unnecessary. This time, it sometimes worked, but you could save the extra few bucks and see it in two dimensions and your life will be just fine.

It was nice to see a director who knows how to edit a good action scene so you can actually see the action (what a concept!), but there isn't much about the overall style (beyond the bland 40's look) that jumped out and overly impressed me. I also thought, as impressive as the digitally shrunken Chris Evans was, they should have done something with his voice. It just seemed a bit odd hearing this deep manly voice coming from such a tiny body.

There is definitely a lot to enjoy about this movie so go check it out. And finally, if you're hoping for something sexy in your 40's flick, check out these gams...!

Yea, if you're not into staring at Chris Evans overly manly sized body (and why would anyone want to see that???), Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) showing off a bit of leg is as sexy as it gets for you...

Deeesher