Oh Captain My Captain... America

Yay for World War II!!! Wait... That came out very wrong, (although maybe a bit better than saying Yay for Hitler!). But you have to admit, without World War II, we wouldn't have awesome things like Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Werewolf Women of the SS, or Nazi Zombies... or Captain America!

I know what you're saying now, “But Deeesher, how can you say Captain America is awesome when you don't own any of his comic books!” First, what makes you think I collect comic books? Oh... *sigh*. And second, you're right, I have never had any interest in Cap (as his friends call him). In fact, he always seemed like a virus that just wouldn't go away! Every time I turned around, Captain America was making an appearance somewhere. Not really doing anything, just looking... buff. And when I first heard about the movie version, I did some serious eye rolling. You know, it was the same eye rolling I did when I heard about Thor, and Green Lantern, and another re-boot of Spider-man, and The upcoming Avengers movie. I'm all for a good comic book movie but I'm starting to wonder if everyone has run out of original ideas. Wait... don't answer that.

Because I'm not familiar with the original Captain America comic, I'm not entirely sure of his origin, so I have nothing to base the premise of this movie on, beyond what I know. And from what I know, it seemed authentic enough. Most of the movie takes place in 1940's at the height of World War II. And all hail director Joe Johnston who kept everything looking very authentically 1940's, with all it's dull earth tones, and the massive machine's and their giant dials and levers to the innocent sounding dialogue. Nobody said golly gee whiz, but I prepared myself for the possibility.

So we have overly eager but digitally shrunken and wussy-looking Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) trying to be all he can be in the army, when one day a kindly old scientist (Stanley Tucci) takes an interest in him (a story we've heard a million times before). After shooting him up with tons of experimental drugs, he comes out big and buff... sort of like me, (as far as you know), and eager to fight bad guys like Red Skull, (played by Hugo Weaving who made a great Elf, and Agent, and now he makes a great Nazi).

It's a simple plot, with some good action which makes it easy for my tiny brain to digest. And I'm far from patriotic (if you're really brave, read my political views here), but what makes Captain America work, is he is a hero! Sure most every country in the world hates us (with good reason) but I think most any country would be proud to have this man represent them. It just so happens that he has the name America, and not *insert country name here followed by obvious stereotype regarding said country here*. He put it all in perspective at the beginning of the movie, when they asked if he wanted to kill Nazi's. He said, “I don't want to kill anybody. I don't like bullies; I don't care where they're from.” That is a hero I can respect!

I saw Captain America: The First Avenger (the official title... whatever), in 3D (whatever again). I feel the same about 3D as I do all these comic book movies. Sometimes it works, but most times it seems unnecessary. This time, it sometimes worked, but you could save the extra few bucks and see it in two dimensions and your life will be just fine.

It was nice to see a director who knows how to edit a good action scene so you can actually see the action (what a concept!), but there isn't much about the overall style (beyond the bland 40's look) that jumped out and overly impressed me. I also thought, as impressive as the digitally shrunken Chris Evans was, they should have done something with his voice. It just seemed a bit odd hearing this deep manly voice coming from such a tiny body.

There is definitely a lot to enjoy about this movie so go check it out. And finally, if you're hoping for something sexy in your 40's flick, check out these gams...!

Yea, if you're not into staring at Chris Evans overly manly sized body (and why would anyone want to see that???), Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) showing off a bit of leg is as sexy as it gets for you...

Deeesher

Kick Me

You kids have it sooo easy! When I was your age *said while waving my cane at you*, being a comic book geek was not so popular! I used to dream of a day when we would have 'kick ass' superhero movies. Now, after amazing hits like Spider-man, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, X-Men, Batman, (etc), I find myself seeing previews for a new comic adaptation and saying...WTF, another one?!?



That was my feeling when I saw the previews for Kick-Ass, (by the way, can I say that without offending anyone? Kick-Butt? Kick-Backside? Kick-Bottom? Kick-Buttocks?). Based on a comic book published by one of Marvel Comics lesser known divisions (Icon), my crack research staff (aka Wikipedia) has assured me that it is fairly close to the original storyline. But, while I am very excited about Iron Man 2, and a few other more 'traditional' superhero movies, Kick-Ass just looked goofy to me. I know, maybe it's supposed to be goofy, but I thought it sort of looked like Mystery Men (awesome but goofy Ben Stiller superhero movie), only not as funny. There are just so many mainstream comics with great storyline's, I just couldn't get excited about a silly one.

But generally, if you're not expecting too much from a movie, they usually catch you by surprise and impress the hell out of you. And it's true, I did enjoy it, but I do have some issues with it.

The story involves an average high school nobody, Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) who wakes up one morning and says, "...I think I want to be a superhero, even though I'm a total wuss, with no fighting experience, or special weapons or powers or anything!".

Total respect for their examining my life in high school so closely, but (for me anyway), common sense always kicks in before getting your ass kicked... or even shot in the face. Bonus points for having your heart in the right place and wanting to do something about crime and injustice, but minus a million points for proving you're a freakin' moron!

And it didn't help there was nothing to grab me and make me root for him! No parents killed when he was walking home with them in a dark alley. No uncle shot by a bad guy he could have stopped. Not even a disability he was struck with and trying to overcome! I didn't care about our hero at all. This was one of the problems I had with Ang Lee's Hulk. I didn't care about Banner. But yet watch the 1978 television's The Incredible Hulk, and in the first episode, in the first two minutes, you care about this guy! I needed something to pull me in and captivate me, and reliving high school's woes was not enough for me. I wrote silly poems... he puts on a mask. Get over it kid.

But I know what you're saying (being psychic is one of my powers), "...but Deeesher, remember this is just a silly movie!".

Or is it?

There were some funny moments yes, but it does take some very serious turns. Which brings me to this soap box that I'm going to stand on for a bit...

What is a superhero? The underdog that wants to do the right thing. With great power comes great responsibility, but yet Kick-Ass says, "with no power comes no responsibility.". This is fine but maybe if your silly movie is taking so many serious turns, they need to remember you are still fighting for truth, justice and the American way. Are you really a true superhero if you stab all the bad guys or shoot them with a machine gun? Maybe Everyone was always eager for Wolverine to hack people to bits with his claws, but (unless things have changed recently), he never did. And maybe Punisher regularly shot people, but it's a well known fact he was unstable and seriously F'd up! The same could be said about Rorschach from Watchmen.

But I did say I enjoyed this movie! The narration was original and clever... oh wait, didn't we just do that a bit better in Zombieland last year? Anyway, the action was awesome, and seeing Hit-Girl (Chloe Moretz) kicking ass was fun. I liked the relationship with her and Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage). And did anyone else notice him channeling 1960's Adam West Batman's voice? Very funny! I was eager to hear him call someone 'citizen', or complain that some days you just can't get rid of a bomb. I also really liked Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), and think he had the best storyline. Although, he will always be McLovin to me.

Maybe most of you are thinking I am being too nit-picky. Maybe I was just offended that we had a superhero movie, but nowhere did we have hot sexy women in spandex. I guess the best way to sum up my feelings is quoting one of my favorite superhero battle cries... "Spoooooon!" The Tick... there was an awesome but silly superhero!