The Hobbit - Tales of the Deeesher

At the risk of offending some of you, Kanye West is wrong. While I'm sure we agree on many other topics (whoever he is), Kanye doesn't believe in reading books. But the reality is you definitely should read. Read lots of books. Read them often. Read them hard. 

In grade school, I started reading Hardy Boys, most likely because our school "book collection" (definitely not a library) wasn't so impressive, and my guess is, I probably liked the covers too. I'm not sure I really understood them, but I loved the idea of using my own brain to create imaginative scenes from printed words. 

Then in 5th grade, I discovered a short story called Fever Dream, by Ray Bradbury. It truly changed my life! I needed so much more of this! So soon after, I got Fahrenheit 451, then Martian Chronicles, Something Wicked this Way Comes, and eventually The Illustrated Man. Those books were so important to me! I fell in love with Bradbury's imagination, and "poetic" style of writing. It also helped that they were a great escape from the real world (aka school), which generally sucked. This inspired me to join the science fiction book club, and get lots more books. I can't say I read them all... but I wanted to! 

I could go on about some of my favorites, like Roger Zelazny's Chronicles of Amber, or Douglas Adam's Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. And then I'd have to rant about how I became obsessed with Harlan Ellison's writing, who was one of the people I credit for making me who I am today. I can't say if that's good or bad, but regardless, that's what happened. 

So here we are, a few years after high school, and due to life being rather "life-y", I don't read nearly as often. In the last few years, I have picked up some of the classics, such as random Edgar Allan Poe stories, as well as the first Sherlock Holmes book, (which was awesome!). I also started reading Moby Dick, but kept getting distracted and still haven't finished it. I enjoy what I've read so far, and I want to finish it, I swear! I just need to get back into that reading mindset, and simply ignore life's annoying little influences. 

It does help that I surround myself with nerdy friends that enjoy berating me for not having read some of those classics. As I'm sure you can imagine, nerd peer pressure can leave you feeling rather desolated. But never are they more eager to take away my nerd card than when I tell them I haven't read... The Lord of the Rings. Yes, they react about the same way you just did. Sorry! 

In my defense, fantasy books were never my thing. Which is strange, because I played Dungeons and Dragons! Tolkien could easily be credited as the co-creator of D&D. But when I read books, I prefer something otherworldly, futuristic, or at the very least, a bizarre twist on our modern life. 

So it took me some time, but after my friends came down on me like wizards at my doorstep, they finally convinced me to go on an adventure, whether I wanted to or not. And after going there, and back, I'm ready to give you my review of:

The Hobbit

*Disclaimer

Normally I keep my reviews spoiler free. However since it's been over eighty years ago, I hope you'll understand if I cover some of the more poignant details in the story. If you'd rather not have anything spoiled here, please read the book and come right back. If you need encouragement to begin, I have some rather militant nerdy friends that would be willing to have a talk with you. 

Okay, show of hands, how many of you knew The Hobbit was a children's book? So... everyone but me. Fine. Yes it was written for children, which explains the songs and silly names (Dwalin, Balin, Kili, Fili, Dori, Nori, Ori etc). Keeping in mind that children from the 1930s were already far more intelligent than most adults today, it still made for a fairly easy read.  

Bilbo was a great character, and I could uncomfortably identify with his desire to sit at home and do nothing. But somehow Gandalf and the Dwarves convinced him to get out of the house. How? Apparently because thirteen on an adventure was unlucky...? But unless there is a great reveal later as to why it had to be Bilbo, I think there were plenty of other professional types of burglars they could have hired in the Prancing Pony tavern nearby. But I guess Halflings gotta have a hero too, so...

The actual travelling part of the book seemed to drag a bit, (as is common with most extensive journeys). But it was always fun seeing Bilbo become the reluctant hero. Whether fighting giant spiders, or playing uncomfortable riddle games with Gollum, or even negotiating peace with Bard, he was consistently clever and very good at thinking on his furry little feet, mostly out of desperation. And as we all know, a hero is only as good as the villain, and Bilbo was always facing some very interesting enemies. I particularly liked this Gollum creature, and hope we get to see more of him in the future! 

"...But Deeesher, what about the other heroes???"
Um... I guess Gandalf had a couple nice moments. Maybe I skimmed past the scenes where the other Dwarves saved the day? Okay, let's be honest, this entire book could have happened with just Thorin, Bilbo, and Gandalf. Well, whenever Gandalf wasn't off doing 'other things'. If you want to look at this metaphorically, an argument could be made that Gandalf was the "parent" letting Bilbo learn to do things for himself. But I prefer to think that Gandalf just had a bad gambling problem. Regularly he was teleporting out to the tracks because he had money riding on the ponies. Hey, he was a wizard, not the 'lead-to-gold' alchemist kind.

Now let's take a moment to talk about Dwarves.
Ugh... They're a hairy, beer guzzling, unkempt, warmongering race. My guess is they don't even bathe nearly as often as they should making them also quite smelly. Not only did Bilbo repeatedly have to save them, they did absolutely nothing to further the plot. In fact, they often seemed rather ungrateful for all the times Bilbo did have to save them! One Fourteenth was his cut... seriously?? He should have re-negotiated that contract. More like two-thirds the treasure by the time they got there! 

Having said that, I confess I did get a bit choked up when Thorin finally reconciled with Bilbo in the end. After all they've been through, it was good to see him come to terms with how much Bilbo really did try to help the disgusting hairy little bastards.

So I'm happy that I finally read The Hobbit, and I'm curious to read the next books in the series. I stand with many other LOTR fans in saying that the Peter Jackson Hobbit trilogy really sucked in comparison. He extended a lot of scenes that didn't need to be extended, added elements that didn't need to be added, and with a budget of millions of dollars, I will never understand how he made those effects look so bad!

However, if you get a chance to see the 1977 Hobbit animated movie, I think you will find that a much closer adaptation. And nothing against the Peter Jackson/Andy Serkis version of Gollum, but the animated version made him rather nightmare inducing *shivers*

Your Precious,
Deeesher

Avengers Endgame Review (Non-Spoiler)

"We're in the endgame now."
- Doctor Strange, Infinity War

Okay, let's make this short and sweet... unlike the runtime of Avengers Endgame, which is nearly 3 hours long, (pace your drinking habits).

First, let me repeat the common sense philosophy I said before: If you don't like superhero movies, this was not made for you. Especially if you haven't seen any of the other previous Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) movies in the last 11 years. Although an argument could be made that you don't have to watch ALL 21 movies. You might be able to watch 8 or 10 of them to get fully up to speed. At this point, it's essentially a career move.

However, if you have seen them, and you do love superhero movies, and find yourself emotionally invested in the fate of these characters, (as many of us are), I really think you'll appreciate Avengers Endgame. But just how much? Let's discuss...

The first thirty minutes weigh a bit heavy, as our heroes come to terms with their losses from Infinity War, (although having gone out in public, personally I often feel Thanos did nothing wrong). But once we get past that mourning period, we're treated to The Avengers Greatest Hits. Without giving anything away, there are lots of references and nods to some of the best moments from their past. Yes, you could call this the Avengers Awesome Mix Tape.. but with so much more!

The length of this movie is mostly justifiable, because there are so many story elements to process and resolve. Realistically, they could have trimmed some of it out, but along the way, we get lots of good laughs, some "F* YEAH!" cheer scenes... as well as some very sad conclusions. Combining all those things effectively is what this movie does right. It's quite the emotional roller coaster, and a beautiful ending to an epic story. 

"But Deeesher, is it really the end...??"

First, stop asking questions. The MCU has plenty of sequels already in production. This universe isn't going anywhere. But for me, they did tie up all the loose ends with a pretty bow. 

"But..."

I said stop asking questions! Okay, as much as I did enjoy this movie, you have to suspend disbelief a bit more than I normally like. Sure, I accept that an alien from space collects a bunch of colored stones to wipe out half the population of the universe. But I want my story telling to be a bit more linear in thinking. And we all knew there would be some time travel here, and unfortunately, that kind of thing tends to be a bit sketchy. Maybe they'll clear up some of those details in upcoming releases. I've already heard that the repercussions from this will change certain aspects of the existing time line. Ugh... 

Nitpicking aside, this didn't detract much from my enjoyment. Like the previous Avengers movies, no one character or performance stood out. Everyone did very well in their respective roles, although you could say Robert Downey Jr might have nudged out the others just a bit. But, with sooooooo many Avengers in the lineup, they focus primarily on 10 (or so) of the main characters. And if you have a favorite hero from any of the previous 21 movies, don't worry, you will see ALL of them doing some pretty cool stuff. There are plenty of beautiful hero shots that will bring a tear to your eye. 

Many of you know, in the past, I've had some misgivings with the Russo Brothers, who have directed a few previous MCU movies. Some scenes still seemed poorly lit (doesn't anyone in space have light bulbs??), and some of the action seemed a bit too close, but otherwise it looks like they got some of my notes (you're welcome!). In the end, this is how you make a movie that respects so many classic characters. This is what you get when the 'suits' listens to the fans!  

So, if I may channel my inner Stan Lee,

Excelsior!

Deeesher

Aquaman 2019 Review

If you ask the nerds, there is an ongoing competition for superiority between Marvel and DC live action comic book movies. Truth be told, both companies want the other to do well. A successful superhero movie can easily drive audiences out to see another one. For the most part, in my humble opinion, Marvel seems to be very successful making the jump to the big screen. Also in my humble opinion, DC is very successful... in their animated department. I don't think they are very good in their live action releases. So after quite a few missteps, can they take one of the most unpopular heroes and make him likable? 

I say unpopular, because Aquaman has always been the butt of many superhero jokes. 

However, he has gone through a few changes in recent years, to try to make him look cool. 

And now we have Jason Momoa. In the past, an Aquaman Hero Pose was a bit of an oxymoron. And now...

And as I'm sure millions (billions?) of women will agree, Jason Momoa is one of the reasons this movie works! I don't think he was necessarily 'acting'. He just showed up and was himself, which is actually pretty impressive. If you don't believe me, look up Jason Momoa throwing an axe, drinking beer, playing bass, or jumping off cliffs.

But with all that charisma, your co-star had better be able to keep up with you. And honestly, I don't think Mera (Amber Heard) could do it. The chemistry between them felt very forced, and her performance was just there. She looked great! But I don't think they're right for each other. Let's all say it together: "You can do better...!"

Ugh... I think?

Now Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) and Momoa have chemistry! Sadly, we don't get to see nearly enough of this relationship! The movie focuses primarily on his overly convoluted family issues and all the undersea ruling kingdoms. I understand why this was important for his origin story, but it felt like it dragged occasionally. And at a running time of 2 hours and 23 minutes, you do not want your undersea adventure to drag. Towards the end, it devolved into the Lord of the Rings, with billions of tiny CGI characters attacking billions of other tiny CGI characters. I found myself looking at the time asking them to wrap everything up quickly.

But for the rest of it, director James Wan made soooooo many beautiful shots! I might have drooled. This makes up for years of dark and depressing DC films. And fight choreography you can see FTW!!

"But Deeesher, how does it compare to other super hero movies???"

First, as you know, in recent years, there has been so many super hero movies, it becomes difficult to rank them. However, nerds will still find a way to do it. Marvel has raised the bar so high, it's not easy to reach that tier, but in some ways, I think this was a success. I enjoyed Aquaman, and I'm eager for a sequel, but I still think there are some suits in DC/WB that don't quite get it. 

For DC movies, Aquaman and Wonder Woman are both good in some ways, and not so good in other ways. But still this is the best DC has to offer in live action. Although, I stand behind my love of DC/CW season 1 and 2 of The Flash, and their crossovers are EPIC! Those should be theatrically released! *hint hint WB*

In comparison to Marvel movies, I would say Aquaman is better than:
Iron Man 3
Thor 1
and... (dare I say?) Doctor Strange and Spider-man Homecoming 
*ducks*

And by the way...

SOMEWHERE in the Atlantic...?  Shouldn't they be more PACIFIC???
LOLOLOLOLOL

*DISCLAIMER: Yes I wrote this review just so I could use that joke. I will also look for an opportunity to post it again on social media somewhere in the future.

My apologies,
Deeesher