Avatar the Review

Six months ago, whenever I saw previews or a poster for this movie, I would say, "...this is what everyone will be talking about next year!", and they would look at me like a freak, (okay, maybe more than normal). But, as usual, I am a visionary, because six months later, I am sick of hearing about this movie!

Of course I am talking about the new James Cameron epic, Avatar.



The story is simple enough, (maybe too simple?). We the humans, continue to prove what jerks we are by trying to take over a planet we found and kicking out the natives. I'm sure there was a deleted subplot where the humans give them blankets infested with smallpox. We've seen this story before from Dances with Wolves, to Pocahontas, to Return of the Jedi, (remember the Ewoks?). It really is a fill in the blanks type of script. Someone please tell me why this won a Golden Globe Award for Best Drama?!?

I will however give this the Deeesher Stamp of Approval for a few things though.

Huge thumbs up to James Cameron for giving us a real sci-fi movie, with interesting, unusual environments, and strange, original looking creatures and aliens. Recently, we've seen lots of superhero movies, and lots of horror, but nothing good from outer space since last years Star Trek. And before that...?

Sam Worthington (the main good guy, Jake Sully) could have been replaced by a talking monkey, (maybe he would have been more interesting then?), but I did enjoy Zoe Saldana, (Neytiri). She apparently has the best agent in Hollywood, because last year she was Uhura on Star Trek. Also Stephen Lang, (Col. Quaritch) and Giovanni Ribisi (Parker Selfridge), made good bad guys you could enjoy hating. Oh and Sigourney Weaver (Dr. Augustine) was in it too I guess... whatever.

But the star of Avatar was the special effects. I see billions of awards being given to this movie for the effects.

Legally, you have to see this movie in Imax 3-D, or all your friends will verbally abuse you. I was a bit extra excited about seeing it since I finally got contacts that work, (cause I couldn't get the full effect of 3-D wearing glasses). I will admit, it looked freakin' awesome... most of the time. Unfortunately, there were times when I couldn't focus on the 3-D because of the action. I found myself thinking a few times, "...but I don't want it to be in 3-D anymore!".

Which brings me to another point. Why, in the year 2010, with all our flying cars, and personal robots, and weather control machines, why are we still using glasses to see 3-D?!? I was eager to see this amazing cutting edge film in a huge theater on a giant screen with my new contacts, only to sit there like a dork with hundreds of others wearing cheap plastic nerd-inspired glasses! Can someone get to work on this please?

In the meantime, I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Mmmmm Zoe...



*insert blue balls joke here*
Deeesher