I like to think I know Superman
fairly well. One of my very first comics was a Superman comic. And
maybe one of my favorite superhero movies of all time is the 1978
Christopher Reeve version of Superman. Followed soon after by
the nearly equally awesome Superman II. Followed by
the frustratingly painful Superman III, and not
forgotten soon enough, the gut wrenchingly horrible Superman
IV. But I also at times enjoyed the George Reeves
television Superman, (in all it's glorious silliness). And then
came Superboy, and Lois and Clark, and
the animated versions of Superman, and Smallville
seasons 1 through 4 (ignoring the rest), and the meh rated
Superman Returns... And the list goes on.
So here we are in 2013, and I learned
one of my favorite directors, Zack Snyder, is making his
version of Superman, called Man of Steel. What
could possibly go wrong???
Well, here we have another origin
story. Someone pointed out to me, that Superman (and other
Superheros like Spider-man and Batman), need to be more
like James Bond. They should give a brief overview of their
origin in the first 5 minutes of the opening credits, then we can
move on with our lives and focus on the real story. But whatever...
we get another origin story. And then Superman fights General
Zod.
Did I miss anything? Nope. 143
minutes running time, and that was pretty much everything. Sure, I
could discuss the details, but what's the point? Most of those
details are lame. Like how Lois Lane seems to have some
serious unnatural pull in the military for a newspaper reporter (very
similar to one of my complaints about Transformers!
Does the military let just anyone give orders now???). Or like how
Lois suddenly appears right near Superman, even though he and Zod
have been quite literally fighting all over the city, including at
one point going to space and landing back in the same city! And I'm
still curious, when did the military suddenly decide to negotiate
with terrorists before anyone fires a shot??? I guess terrorists can
give orders to the military too now, especially if they are alien
origin.
Maybe writer David S. Goyer is
getting tired? He did write everything from Dollman vs.
Demonic Toys in 1993, and more recently Batman Begins,
Dark Knight, and Dark Knight Rises.
Well, let's be honest, out of all of those movies, maybe I found the
least problems with the Dollman vs. Demonic Toys script.
Don't you dare tell me for one second how awesome the writing on
the Batman trilogy was! We both know, the writing got
progressively worse!
I really don't want to blame director
Zack Snyder. We were BFF's! I even touched myself
thinking about him sometimes! But this time, he really broke my heart.
Let me count the ways:
I have no problem with the planet
Krypton being 're-imagined'. However, wouldn't it make more
sense if it looked like people lived there? They were a fairly
advanced civilization, with ships and lasers and video screens you
could buy from Spencers! So why did they live in caves???
Shouldn't there be shops, or art, or maybe a restaurant, or some sort
of entertainment center in their homes? Even a pool table would have
been nice!
Do I blame Zack or producer Christopher
Nolan (director of the recent Batman Trilogy), for the look of
things? Having Superman and Zod fighting against gray buildings and
gray dirty backgrounds, while they both have very dark colored suits
on, makes no sense. I'm far from a fashion critic, but couldn't they
at least have made Zod's uniform a bit more black and given Supermans
uniform a bit more brighter contrast? I don't mind the battle armor
they wore, and I could even sort of accept the new Superman uniform
but... I'm confident enough in my manhood to say, it just wasn't
fabulous for me *snap
snap*
And did anyone else play Mass
Effect? Is it just me, or do Zod's ships look a bit
familiar?
And sadly, Zack did the worst thing he
could have possibly done to me... he shook his camera. Not
just once or twice, but all night long! It never stopped!
One reason I loved Zack, was because in his past movies (300,
Watchmen, Sucker Punch), I could see the
action! This time, things were shaking, and too close and too quick
edits. My love affair is over, when Zack suddenly became just
another *cringe* J.J. Abrams, or Michael Bay. Frustratingly, there were many fights that were impossible to watch. And the
fighting takes about half the movie.
But, before you think it's all bad,
it's really not. One saving grace, was Henry Cavill. I
easily accepted him as Superman. I could go on about his chiseled
jaw, or his dreamy blue eyes, or his rock solid chest, or bulging
biceps but... you get the idea. He had a very cool Greatest
American Hero homage as he was learning to fly, (although I
still don't understand the afterburner exhaust). And
with every Superman, you get a Lois Lane. This time played by Amy
Adams. She got a paycheck, and that's about it. She felt a bit
too light and meek to be a real Lois Lane to me. And of course you
also get a General Zod. Michael Shannon also got a paycheck
for screaming. He was by no means Terence Stamp from the
1978-80 Superman! And at no point, are there any “Kneel before
Zod!” moments *sigh*
My personal favorites, were Kevin
Costner as Jonathon Kent (who had one of the best moments
in this movie, but his overall influence on Clark's life was poorly written), and Antje Traue as bad girl Faora. She
was underused but awesome every time. Russell Crowe also made
a pretty good Jor-El (but also badly written for the most part).
I really wanted to like this movie, and
there were a few good shots. But instead it just made me angry
because it had so much potential that was just wasted. And unfortunately, most
people will love it, because it's a Superman movie, and everyone
loves Superman. And since they spent so much money on it, it must
be good! For me, I'll still take my 1978-80 Superman as the
best. I would rank Man of Steel better than Superman
III and even better than later seasons of Smallville.
But not as good as the first few seasons of Smallville,
or the recent animated Superman stories. So that puts it slightly
above Superman Returns.
Now let's talk about making Supergirl!
Up, up and away!
Deeesher
