300 Rise of an Empire Review

I love pretty movies.  To me, one of the most important aspects about a movie is, it should be visually artistic.  If a movie doesn't look good, I might as well read a book... and who has time for that??  (But seriously kids, read a book!  You won't regret it!).  Unfortunately, these days, most movies (and television shows) are more eager to look gritty and dark with all their bland muted colors and shaky cameras.  They try to justify it saying things look more 'realistic'.  Well, my life is filled with the big box of 64 crayons, not just the dark 8 pack many directors use today *COUGH*christophernolan*COUGH* 

So you can imagine my excitement seeing the 2006 movie 300, staring Gerard Butler and directed by Zack Snyder.  I wrote an awesome review (that I will re-post one day) saying how visually amazing it was for me, with all the pretty colors and airbrush looking art style.  Filled with great characters, and an interesting story, it is still one of my top ten favorite movies of all time for many reasons.

And now in 2014, we finally get a sequel, with a mostly different cast and different director.  So how does 300: Rise of an Empire compare to the original?

300 was a graphic novel by Frank Miller, released in 1998, creatively based on real events that took place a long time ago in a country far, far away (well, far away from where I live anyway).  Shortly after the success of the first movie, Frank began writing a sequel entitled Xerxes.  Seven years later, he still hasn't completed it.  However, they released the movie based on that unfinished story anyway.  Take a moment and let your brain wrap around that.

For the sequel, we spend our time with the Greeks (although for the record, I don't think there were 300 of them), as their events run parallel to everything that was happening in the first movie (think Back to the Future 2, although not as covert... or silly).  Their leader, Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) has a particularly freaky relationship with Xerxes second-in-command, Artemisia (Eva Green).  We also get a few moments here and there with great characters from the first movie, Xerxes (still ultra cool Rodrigo Santoro), Queen Gorgo (yes Lena Headey just as awesome as she always is, from Game of Thrones), and even Ephialtes (hunching better than ever by Andrew Tiernan)... but we don't see nearly enough of any of them.

Most of this movie took place at sea, and maybe that's why it felt... watered down (sorry, I couldn't resist).  None of the characters or visuals were quite as interesting as they were in the original movie.  And every time the Greeks cheered, it really made me miss the Spartan "AH-HOO!  AH-HOO!".  We do get moments of pretty airbrushing visuals, but overall, nothing stood out quite as much as the original.  Even Queen Gorgo, who looked beautiful and regal from the first movie, looks a bit harsh here.  It was like director Noam Murro saw the original, and jumped up and down and said, "I can do that too!".  No... no Noam, you really can't.  Now go to your room.

In all fairness, I shouldn't be too harsh to this movie.  It's not bad... it's just drawn that way.  If the original 300 was never made, Rise of an Empire would be a decent movie on it's own.  But if you have to watch a movie with lots of shirtless men with rock hard abs, grunting and sweating, the original Spartan story is still much more arousing... err, I mean exciting to watch.

Speaking of shirtless, maybe it would have helped a bit more if they showed an Oracle or two... or three.

Deeesher

X-Men Days of Future Past Review

I think we can all agree, X-Men: The Last Stand (X-Men 3, 2006) wasn't that great.  I might even go so far to say it sucked.  I think we can also agree, Wolverine: Origins (2009) sucked.  Of course you can disagree, and everyone is welcome to an opinion.  And my opinion is, if you enjoyed those movies, you are way too easily impressed by superhero movies... or maybe you just hate me. 

But not every X-related movie is horrible!  The original X-Men and X2, released by Twentieth Century Fox, were two of the more impressive superhero movies ever released... until Marvel Studios started producing their own comic book based movies.  So check your scorecard kids:

Marvel Studios  

Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk 

Awesome! 

Twentieth Century Fox 

X-Men, Wolverine, Fantastic Four 

Anywhere from cool, to meh, to sucks.

Sony Pictures 

Spider-man 

 ....don't get me started.

Now that we're on the same page in our comic books, where does this put X-Men Days of Future Past?

Starting in the future, we have giant creepy mechanical Sentinels pretty much destroying the world and wiping out everything they hate... and it seems they hate a lot of things, but mostly mutants.  So our heroes figure out a way to send Wolverine back to 1973 to convince younger versions of Professor X and Magneto to work together to stop all this from ever starting, even though they hate each other.

I used to read a lot of comic books, and I know someone talked me into collecting this particular storyline way back then.  At the time, I remember liking the idea, but was a bit confused by the details.  Maybe I didn't get it, because I wasn't a regular reader of X titles... or maybe because I'm not one of those 'smart' people.  So as confusing as the original concept may have been, DOFP made it all very cohesive and easy to follow for a simple guy like me.

As much as I appreciated this, I think many comic book purists might be offended by some of the changes... which is too bad, because it was presented very well.  And isn't putting out the best version of the story the most important aspect?

In the comics, I would expect them to follow every nuance of history they created, and stay loyal to the people who have collected this title for many years.  But in theaters, they are trying to reach a wider audience, and at the end of the day, they want to make money.  So taking a comic book frame by frame and making it into a movie is a great concept, but generally I don't think it works so well.  Why?  Because these might be new characters to some viewers.  Or maybe like me, they get easily confused.  Movies like Sin City and 300 are rare exceptions, partly because they don't have years of history and backstory to cover.  But even 300 needed to add a subplot with Leonidas's wife to give it more substance.  

In the end it's a simple equation:
Is your movie written well?  
If you answer yes, then those changes are acceptable and maybe even enjoyable.
If you answered no, then your movie really sucks AND you've made a lot of fans very angry. 

So thumbs up to Simon Kinberg, Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn for making a pretty good story.  Not great... but pretty good.

Bryan Singer also did a pretty good job as director.  He directed the original X-Men movies, and it shows how much he appreciates working in this world.  He made action sequences I could see!  Which is always nice and appreciated in a world of shaky cameras and split second editing.  I loved the future Sentinels, as well as their 70's versions too.  There was nothing overly artistic about his style, but he did the job well enough and told a decent story visually. 

The entire cast did a great job too, from Hugh Jackman (Huge Assman?), to SIR Patrick Stewart, Sir Ian McKellen, Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy and the mostly naked Jennifer Lawrence.  As much as I dislike Halle Berry being in this franchise, I'll even accept her here... barely.  EXTRA huge awesomeness to Evan Peters as Quicksilver!  I wanted more!

But I do have one small problem (no pun intended)...  Peter Dinklage.

Before everyone starts booing me and calling me a racist (or whatever I would be for not liking little people), I LOVE Peter Dinklage!  I think he is one of the best actors today, big or small.  I've loved him since the first episode of Game of Thrones and I really hope they don't kill him off any time soon.  I sincerely think his acting in DOFP was fantastic!  But... my problem is casting him as Trask.  The character from the comic is not 'height challenged'.  And the sad reality is, in 1973, I don't think someone with his height would have risen to such a powerful position.  In 2014, we are just beginning to accept people no matter their race, color, religion or physical appearance (and even today it seems like some still can't overlook those things).  So seeing him in this role, I needed more.  Maybe the writers dropped the ball here and needed to give us some background story.  Maybe more was written, but was unfortunately edited out for time.  I would have accepted him easier if we knew how and why he got to this position in the close-minded world of the 70's.

So after doing some fancy calculations and new math, I would put X-Men: Days of Future Past as pretty good.  In the ever increasing list of superhero movies, this goes above Thor 1, and Iron Man 3. Dare I say above Iron Man 2?  Although Iron Man 2 had Scarlett Johansson... DOFP had a mostly naked Jennifer Lawrence.

Deeesher 

Captain America 2 Review

I used to read a lot of comic books.  Maybe too many.  Eventually, with the pesky responsibilities of work and 'life', I couldn't keep up and stopped reading altogether.  Which is really a shame, since the stories and visuals in comics are way better than many things on TV or in theaters (the secret is creativity).  But with everything I read, I never cared about Captain America.  I knew very little about him, except he was maybe overly patriotic, and something about being frozen from World War II, and he had a shield.  Whatever.  He showed up everywhere but I never gave a crap about Cap (you can use that if you want).

Then in 2011, Marvel Comics released Captain America: The First Avenger, as part of their ginormous Phase One story arc of epic superheroes movies.  At the time, all I could think is whyyyyyyyy???, when there were so many other interesting characters they could have translated to movies.  But because I am a slut for superheroes, I saw it anyway, and then I suddenly decided Captain America is one of the most awesome characters eva!  See me rant about how great that movie was here.

Cap continued to be extra awesome in Avengers (and here is that rant).  And finally, after all the Shawarma dust settled, Marvel is ready to move into Phase Two of their epic superhero lineup, which includes Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Taking place after events in Avengers, we see Cap (heroically played by Chris Evans once again), working with SHIELD, and kicking ass.  Until things go horribly wrong, and then he has to kick more ass.  

Okay, in my efforts to keep my reviews spoiler free, I've overly simplified the plot.  But this movie was anything but simple!  Huge thumbs up to writers Stephen McFeely, and Christopher Markus for creating a complex storyline that actually worked!  Generally, simpler is better.  But this was a successful rare exception of combining action with a well thought out storyline.

One story element I can tell you about (sort of), is the Winter Soldier (played by Sebastian Stan).  If you've been paying attention, writing has taught us:  With great writing, comes a great bad guy.  So without giving anything away, I will tell you, OMG this guy is soooo awesome!  He is the perfect ass-kicking counterpart to Cap, with a well developed origin.  And he seriously made me question my own sexuality because he is quite dreamy.

But successfully reminding me that I am in fact still heterosexual, we get Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson.... mmmm....), who seems to get hotter with every movie.  We also get a bonus with Sam Wilson aka Falcon (played by Anthony Mackie), who has his own share of kick ass moments.  And lest we not forget plenty of Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, kicking his own share of ass.

Oh, also Robert Redford has an important role and does some stuff... meh.

Now before you think this is the most awesome epic movie ever made... there was a problem.  Most of the directing by Anthony Russo, and Joe Russo was well done and kept me engaged visually.  But... PLEEEEEASE pull your camera back and show us your fight choreography!!  This wasn't as bad as some movies in the past *COUGH*jj.abrams*COUGH*michael.bay*COUGH*, I could mostly see what was going on, but it would have been nice to not make us feel like the cameraman was trying to break them up the whole time. With two directors, I am curious if maybe one of them filmed the story elements, and the other directed action sequences.  In which case, I'm only angry at one of them.  But which one.....

And finally, bonus points for ABC's series Agents of SHIELD for successfully writing episodes around the events from Cap 2!  I was not originally a big fan of this show, and felt the stories were a bit predictable, the characters were bland, and visually it was dark and had no life.  The last few weeks have revitalized a lot of the characters, and they started to finally add more colors and light into the show.  And recently, incorporating events from Cap 2, they suddenly have my attention.

There was a lot of hype surrounding this movie, and going in, I was very apprehensive.  But yes, believe the hype.  It was VERY well done!  Now, once again, I need to re-evaluate my top list of best Marvel movies.

In the meantime, did I mention Scarlett Johansson was in this?

Deeesher

For Eddie

Whether you realize it or not, you know Eddie Mashal very well.  Maybe you didn't meet him in person, but you are very familiar with his work, and maybe never realized it.  With his producer, Bill Szymczyk, Eddie was the primary recording engineer on many great classic rock albums, including Hotel California, and The Long Run by The Eagles, and recorded songs by The Bee Gees, Joe Walsh and Bob Seger, just to name a few.  He was fortunate to win a Grammy Award for his work on Hotel California.  And if you saw The Eagles live in the late 70's or early 80's, Eddie was most likely doing their sound.

But none of that mattered much to him.  He loved teaching most of all, and I'm proud to say, I was one of his students.  I was also fortunate to become friends with him for many years and I was (and still am) very saddened when he suddenly passed away in 2013.  He was one of the most important influences in my life, and other of his students as well, and he was one of my very best friends.

For some reason, the music industry had all but forgotten Eddie, but after all his hard work and efforts over the years, I was eager to see his name on this years Grammy Awards during their In Memoriam segment.  You can imagine how disheartened I was to see, Eddie was again forgotten.  NARAS (National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences) truly dropped the ball by overlooking his talent and contribution to the music industry. 

I wonder, should I have tried to contact them maybe?

Obviously it's too late now, but if I post this, maybe others can discover who he was and how important his work in the music industry was.  Not only for classic rock, but by helping so many young people discover the tricks of the trade and making studio recording so easy to understand from his tutelage.

I posted the following eulogy after his passing, and now I am re-posting on his birthday.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, and I still miss him deeply.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I first met Eddie Mashal in 1989 when I moved to Ft. Lauderdale to go to The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale to study audio recording. There were a lot of very good instructors at AIFL, but when I heard Eddie recorded Hotel California, I was very eager to learn from him and discover all his secrets. Students would often walk by his classes and point and whisper, “That's the guy! He's got Grammy Awards and everything!” Unfortunately, he only taught the advanced audio courses, so I had to wait a few months, till I could officially meet him.

Or so I thought...

My first job in Ft. Lauderdale was at a movie theater. And in 1989, the Michael Keaton / Jack Nicholson Batman movie was released. And there was Eddie on opening night! I was a simple ticket taker, but when I saw him, I very eagerly shook his hand and told him how I couldn't wait to take his class. He smiled really big, the way Eddie always smiled, and I could see the pride he had about meeting another of his students.

He loved teaching! And he always made it so simple. If you asked him a question, he explained audio in such a way, that you felt foolish for not understanding in the first place. He made learning audio fun and interesting. But he was never “Mr. Mashal”. He was Eddie... a guy you got to hang out with and learn things from. He was a friend to all his students, and all his students loved him. And whenever any of his students became successful, he was filled with even more pride that he helped in some way.

But fortunately for me, we had other common ground. Eddie showed me, it's cool to love comic books! I was always collecting comics, but when I moved to Ft Lauderdale, I had no idea where to get them. Eddie showed me his favorite place to go. So every Thursday, Eddie, Brad Button and I, went on a comic book run. Eddie would tell me about some current storyline in Superman or Batman, and convince me to start collecting those issues. We collected comics, cards, and Eddie collected some very impressive comic figures that I could never afford. Those Thursdays were rarely about music or recording. This was all about hanging out, having fun and being friends.

And because we were friends, he would at times, invite me to assist with him on recording sessions. Maybe they were small simple bands, in very basic studios, but the fact that I got to work with THE Eddie Mashal in the studio, was awesome! I was always a bit starstruck with Eddie. I felt like I made it in the business, as I watched him work.

But Eddie was a humble man, and never saw his accomplishments as all that amazing. To Eddie, it was just another day at the office when he recorded Hotel California. It was just another plaque on the wall when he got a Grammy Award. When I met him, he was never too eager to talk about his experiences with The Eagles. This changed a bit later in his life, but in those days, if an Eagles song came on the radio, he would very quickly change the station.

But I do remember one night, he didn't change the station. And he started talking. I felt like he was telling me all the secrets of the universe, as he explained the details that went into the recording of that particular song.

That was one of many wonderful memories I have of Eddie. But there are many more.

Like when he helped me buy a new car. Who better to take car shopping than a Jewish New Yorker? And like how he took me to a Marlins baseball game. I wasn't a sportsfan, but going with Eddie, really made it an enjoyable experience. And how he would tell many of the same stories over and over again, but you would eagerly listen, because Eddie made them fun and like new every time. And the joy he had in his voice when talking about the AESC (Audio Engineers Sushi Club). And how he was eager to tell the tour guide at the Star Trek Exhibit, all the things they didn't know about Star Trek and the actors history. And the pride in his voice when he explained to me a week before his passing, that he and his former producer, Bill Szymczyk, had finally begun talking again after all these years. And of course riding his motorcycle. How many more times could he crash and still be eager to ride again? I felt as if he was invincible, like Superman.

And to me, Eddie will always be Superman. He was my hero, my mentor, my adviser and one of my very best friends.

Click here for a very short list of his studio projects and to see some of his legacy. Not listed are the students he taught and the lives he touched.

We all miss you and love you Eddie! You helped music sound a bit sweeter, and you will live in our hearts forever.

*** UPDATE

Recently, I had an opportunity to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio.  I was extremely happy to see on regular rotation in one of the display cases, a very short clip of Eddie, taken from the beginning of the Long Run video from The Eagles.  I am so happy to see, my friend made it to the Hall of Fame.  And knowing Eddie, I think he would be even happier to know, they didn't use Eagles music in his video clip.

Check it out here:

https://youtu.be/epQkBwR5LUg

True Detective Review

I really hate television.  Which is weird, because I watch a lot of it.  So, somewhere between work, 'pr0n' and the occasional video game, I to try to watch several shows, and I am open minded enough to check out new things.  Sometimes I'm impressed (i.e. Sleepy Hollow, Sherlock on BBC, Almost Human and Bates Motel), but most times I'm disappointed.

Normally, I won't watch non sci-fi/horror/supernatural types of shows because I'm easily bored.  But after the Clockwork Orangian urgings of my friend Regis Jack (check him out painfully and regret it later here), I started watching True Detective on HBO.

Created by Nic Pizzolatto, the plot has Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson playing detectives over the course of 17 years searching for a killer.  But are they really true detectives??  They do some very shady things within those 17 years... dare I say illegal things?  And after 17 years looking for someone, are they good detectives?  I call shenanigans at the show title.  Maybe Questionable Detective would be better.  Dangerous Detective.  Flaky Detective.... just throwing it out there.

First, I love me some Woody (and who doesn't??).  Woody Harrelson ('Detective' Marty Hart) does his usual great job being pretty much the same guy he usually is, only more intense (if you can believe that).  But Matthew McConaughey ('Detective' Rust Cohle) gets the wow..!  What an interesting character.  He kept my attention between his performance and the overall way this character was written.  But was it enough?

At first, I wondered if it would be a more serious and less freaky version of Twin Peaks (which I LOVED!).  But every time we got away from the mystery, and started to focus on Marty's family drama, I got bored.  And they spend a LOT of time focusing on his personal life.  Don't get me wrong, because the women that Marty is with are all pretty freakin' hot!  But, it all felt a bit weird because he spends a lot of the time recalling personal events with other detectives.   

Overall, I kept waiting for something to happen.  Each episode felt like it was building up to something, but delivered nothing.  I found myself saying, "That's it??" often.  I went from leaning forward to leaning back too many times (figuratively).  Otherwise, each episode is well put together, often very dark and sometimes very disturbing, and the acting is top notch.  The directing is also well done  Extra kudos going to episode 4 (Who Goes There) when Cohle hooks up with his old biker gang.  The entire ending sequence was shot very well (no pun intended).

Maybe you'll like this kind of thing, but it isn't for me.  There are only 8 episodes total, so it doesn't take too much time out of your busy schedule.  But if I'm going to watch something non sci-fi/horror/supernatural, I need it to really push me over the edge... like Breaking Bad *sniff*

Deeesher

Why I Hate Christopher Nolan

Everyone loves Christopher Nolan. He has directing credits, and writing credits for some of the most popular movies in the last ten years. Geeks and nerds around the world are building shrines in his name. I want to point this out, because I don't believe anything I say here will cause him to weep in a corner on a big pile of money. He is also from London, so at best, he might give me a hearty “Cheers, mate”, if he took time to read my rant.

  

I should also explain, he's not a horrible director. I will give credit where credit is due of course, but we need to take a moment and examine his popularity. Today, I plan to finally expose how this man has somehow brainwashed the world into accepting him as a hero. Once again, our core nerd values are at stake, and yet, he continues to gain accolades, where none are due!

Blasphemy you say??? Don't believe me? Let's take a moment to dissect the movies that people have been shoving down my throat telling me how good they are.

Memento (2000)

Here's a trailer:

If you're curious, he has no super powers, so the intro with the gun flying into his hand, is what the kids call trick photography. Guy Pearce plays Leonard, a guy who suffers from a very real mental illness (called anterograde amnesia, for future psychiatric students reading). While trying to keep track of people he met, and things that happen, he's constantly writing notes, and taking pictures. But since we live in America, people love to play cruel jokes on someone like this, so he's never sure what to believe.

But Mr. Nolan wasn't content to just tell a story. He had to tell a confusing story! I can only assume he watched too much Pulp Fiction, or episodes of Lost, where the story jumps around through time. Memento tells the story mostly in reverse, backing up roughly 10 minutes at a time. Since I'm not one of those “smart” people, a very straightforward story, suddenly became a big mess.

Whatever happened to linear story telling??? Maybe I can sort of understand why he did this, because it does build a bit of a mystery. But when you put things in order, it's a pretty good movie, so why screw with it?? And if you're curious to see it in the proper sequence, youtube has versions of the entire movie, re-edited in the proper sequence for your listening and dancing pleasure.

RottenTomatoes gave Memento a 92%. Maybe I'm just a clueless idiot?

Personally, I thought it was done right the first time in 1994, when it starred Dana Carvey and was called Clean Slate. Here's another trailer:

Although, the real credit should go to Saturday Night Live, and Tom Hanks for creating Mr. Short-Term Memory in 1988:

This brings us to the movie that made Nolan “legendary” (note the quotes):

Batman Begins (2005)

Here's an important life lesson: You don't have to work too hard to impress anyone, if everyone else screwed it up. Case in point, 1997's Batman and Robin *cringe*. I sincerely hope you know how bad Joel Schumacher's version of Batman was (starring George Clooney). If however, you enjoyed it, please stop reading now and seek professional help.

So in 2005, nerds everywhere rejoiced! Someone took the character of Batman seriously, and made a believable movie about this epic franchise! There were a lot of things to like about this movie. Christian Bale made a very good Bruce Wayne (although questionable Batman with his painfully gravely voice). Gary Oldman made a great Jim Gordon. You also had Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Cillian Murphy, and Morgan Freeman. Very impressive! Well, on a personal note, Katie Holmes just did the job and never overly impressed me.

And with a surprisingly decent script by David Goyer and Christopher Nolan, this was a very good Batman movie. But, I can hear you shouting, “But Deeesher, why didn't you looooove this movie???” I said I enjoyed it. But looooove is a very strong word. The main reason, is because I couldn't find any “moments” in this movie.

When I watch a movie, I look for something artistic and memorable. Think back on movies you love, and there are always scenes and dialogue that stick out very clearly in your mind. Whether it's Kirk screaming “KHAAAAAAAAAAN!!”, or Charlton Heston pounding his fist on the sand in front of the busted up Statue of Liberty, or Superman catching a helicopter in 1978, or King Leonidas shouting “This.. is.. Sparta!” before kicking the dude into the bottomless pit. These moments have power, and impact. A movie isn't required to have these moments to be enjoyable (or successful), but it really does help in this particular genre.

How often did Batman Begins slap you in the face and make you realize you were watching something epic? Was there a “Snakes... why'd it have to be snakes...” moment? Was there even a “Luke, I am your father” moment? How about a “There is no spoon” moment? I got none of that. To me, this is the difference between like, and loooove. Batman Begins was just a wash of mud. An enjoyable wash, but still just mud. And isn't the job of a director, to make something memorable for moviegoers? Maybe you will tell me that was the fault of the scriptwriter (just as a reminder, Nolan co-wrote the screenplay). Or maybe it was the fault of the actors.

But one thing I can blame Nolan for, is the look. Movies are meant to tell a story, and possibly also be be artistic. The more epic your movie, the more artistic I will expect it to be. If your name is Rob Schneider, I'm not expecting to see anything cinematically beautiful on the screen. If you name your movie Sharknado, I can lower my expectations exponentially. However, if you are spending millions of dollars to create something, that you expect to make billions of dollars for, I will anticipate something to really wow me.

Technicolor was invented in 1916. Why isn't he using it??? Movies have colors like, red, green, blue, yellow. I'm pretty sure there are a few other colors, but overall, when used properly, they tend to give a movie a bit of life. All I see from Nolan, is brown, black, and white. Memento added some light blue and occasional black and white scenes, but that's it. Is Nolan colorblind? Have I finally exposed his deepest secret perhaps?

And now you shout to me, “But Deeesher, this is Batman, The Dark Knight! Of course it's supposed to be dark and gritty in Gotham!”. Now I must remind you of a movie from 1994, called The Crow, starring Brandon Lee. This was also based on a comic book. But not just any comic book... a black and white comic book! The Crow somehow managed to use color, but still created the same feel as the comic book. I always said, it was one of the best black and white color movies ever made. But whatever happened to director Alex Proyas? Well, please just remember how good The Crow was.

But let's move on shall we...

The Prestige (2006)

A movie filled with superheroes! Okay, maybe not. Two magicians from London in the 1890's hate each other. Starring Hugh Jackman (formerly known as Wolverine), Christian Bale (formerly known as Batman), Scarlett Johansson (formerly known as Black Widow), and David Bowie (formerly known as Ziggy Stardust... look it up kids!).

For the most part, I enjoyed this movie. Although, I did figure out 'the twist' half way through. But it was still a good story, maybe cause I like magic, and Tesla. I will even go so far, to give Nolan a pass for the browns, blacks and white look of this film, because remember, nobody invented color until 1916.

However, once again, Nolan seems to enjoy this non-linear storytelling. Maybe I could accept it, if there was a very obvious change in the look of the scene, showing you it's six months earlier, or one year later etc. Maybe you could even put text at the bottom of the screen, saying “Six months earlier”. But with my tiny brain, I had to really pay attention to the scene to figure out when in the story it takes place, causing me a bit more confusion than I am accustomed to.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger. I can't say enough about his performance. Remember those 'moments' I talked about earlier? Here they are! His performance as Joker really helps you ignore some of the flaws in this movie. And sadly, there are still plenty of flaws.

Again, keeping consistent, we have the drab browns, blacks, whites and greys. The exception being the Joker. The only bit of life in this entire dull looking franchise. Otherwise, once again, I felt this was more like CSI: Gotham City, than a theatrical movie.

The story was decent, but I will always say Harvey Dent's story, (played by Aaron Eckhart) needed to end after Joker visited him in the hospital. Instead, suddenly we have two villains to contend with at the end of the movie. Two-Face should have been saved for the third movie in the trilogy.

Inception (2010)

Well this was interesting. Dreams, within dreams, within dreams etc. It was unique (if you ignore Dreamscape starring Dennis Quaid and Max Von Sydow from 1984). I can say I mostly enjoyed this. Although, Nolan's use of browns, blacks, and greys are getting very old very quickly. There was some pretty things visually, which was a nice change of pace for Nolan.

Dark Knight Rises (2012)

*sigh* So much potential. So much crap. I did give this movie a fairly decent review, if you shut off your brain and stop thinking. If you don't examine the story too closely, it was fun-ish. Tom Hardy as Bane made it mostly enjoyable as another memorable bad guy (although still drastically different from the comic book... why???). Anne Hathaway as Selina (aka Catwoman) also made it enjoyable for other reasons.

This movie could have been helped with a better story, and of course a bit of color. It could also have used some decent fight choreography, and maybe a bit of lighting, less quick edits and pull your camera back so we can see what's going on, but... maybe I'm silly.

Man of Steel (2013)

The more I think about this movie, the more it makes me angry. But I'm not sure who to be angry at. Everything inside me, is eager to blame Nolan, because I've always loved director Zack Snyder. But how much influence did Nolan as producer have over the project? Nolan co-wrote the story with David Goyer, but who's decision was it to take away the core values of what makes Superman a hero?

And again you shout to me, “But Deeesher, Superman really needed a 2013 reboot, and he's learning to become a hero!” And I say to you, stop yelling at me. And I very strongly agree, Superman needed a 2013 reboot... but this wasn't it. It is possible to keep the important small town philosophy of Clark Kent, and still have him be the hero we know for today.

Man of Steel had a lot of potential, and after they spent millions of dollars making it, they really fell short in my mind. There were a couple of nice scenes, but they were heavily overshadowed by bad writing. I have a couple of great ideas on how to make the Clark/Superman/Lois love triangle work... but nobody asked me!

And again the look... between the fast quick camera edits, the extremely annoying shaky cam making it difficult to see, to the washed out uniforms and drab backgrounds, I just feel cold and empty inside.

So there ya go. Nolan's not a bad director, but maybe he's more suited for television than taking our nerdly birthrights away from us. This rant has been slowly building over the last few years, but the final breaking point was after hearing the announcement of Man of Steel 2, with special guest star, Batman. The roar of nerd-cheer was heard around the world... as I cringed in terror. Are nerds and geeks so blinded by this epic event, that none of them take a moment to really study what they are giving us??

Of course I will keep an open mind, but given what I've seen so far, I am extremely apprehensive.

And this just in: Remember how painful it was to hear about Nicholas Cage playing Ghost Rider? Ben Affleck has been signed to play the new Batman! At what point can I start shouting, “I told you so!!” It seems Christopher Nolan hates us, so it's okay for us to hate him back.

Oh Joss Whedon, you've never hurt me. Please keep me safe with your big strong Buffy/Angel/Firefly/Avengers arms! Make my dreams come true by writing and directing Wonder Woman pleeeeeease!!

Deeesher

Sensitivity Training aka Bullying Rant

I'm not perfect. I know, as difficult as it is to believe, it's true! But honestly, I'm okay with that. Sure I strive for perfection, (mostly because I am very OCD), but most times, I fall short. Over the years, I hope I have improved, sometimes through helpful suggestions of others, and sometimes noticing my own issues I needed to address. But I have learned that nobody is in fact perfect.

Sadly, it seems some people still expect perfection. Some people have this vision of how you should behave and how you should look. And if you don't fit into their ideal cookie cutter mold, then it becomes obvious (to them), you're a loser, and they are eager to point out all your flaws.

I would like to think, that in these 'enlightened' days, people are more tolerant of others, or at the very least accept differences in others. But there are apparently still bullies in the world. A bully likes to think he is better than you. A bully is very quick to explain all the reasons you are inferior, and will find every one of your imperfections and focus on them to make you look as small as possible.

I think most of us have experienced bullying in some form or other, but it seems nerds/geeks are the most obvious common target for them. I recently read an article about someone dressing as a Star Wars Stormtrooper at a charity event. Some kids came up behind him and pushed him. Why??? This type of bullying seems stupid, hurtful and a very obvious waste of time.

But what about verbal bullying? It tends to be a bit more vague, however, it is still just as real, and just as disgusting and I will never understand it.

When I was young and maybe extra nerdy, I was always a bit different. I don't mean I had three arms, or two heads or anything like that, but I didn't fit into the cookie cutter mold.

Ironically, in grade school, I was considered one of the 'cool kids' *gasp!*. Partly because there were only about twenty kids in my class, and partly because I was one of the few that weren't Amish. This was a pretty big deal in my very small Indiana town.

Then I moved on to middle school, and suddenly realized my place in life. This isn't something I thought of, but it seemed everyone was eager to point it out to me. You see, I had some very nerdy interests. I liked science fiction. And as any of the cool kids in school will tell you, having an imagination is the worst thing you can do with your life (apparently).

But having an imagination was only the tip of the outcast iceberg. I was a little guy, and I hated sports. And as most kids in a small town will tell you... that means I was obviously gay.

Let me state for the record, I am not gay. I've never been gay, and personally, I can't understand how any man (or woman) could ever be attracted to another man, cause I find men sort of yucky and gross. Especially when women are so hot!!

But let me also say that if you're reading this, and you are gay, I have the utmost respect and empathy for any abuse you dealt with growing up (or even as adults). Cause I was right there with you, hearing every one of the taunts and all the harsh name calling.

There were days I hated the idea of going to school, or riding on the bus. There were days I dreaded eating in the cafeteria and there were just some classes that I really wanted to avoid. Even subjects that I was sort of interested in, suddenly became pointless and a drudgery to study, because it all had to do with that disgusting place of abuse, called Middle School.

Before you start thinking everything was all bad, I was very fortunate to have great parents and really cool friends. But there are just some things you can't talk to your parents about. What will they do? Fight your battles for you? Yea, that should clear up all your problems *cough cough* And even my friends couldn't be there all the time. So what's the solution?

For me, the solution was writing. It was a fantastic outlet for me! Whether I wrote science fiction, or poetry, or even a free writing prose, it was cathartic to get all those feelings out, and for a short time, drift to another world mentally. For the record, I did study self defense books. But the type of bullies I dealt with, didn't beat me up (although there were maybe three fights I can recall). For the most part, they used words. So I needed better words. My writing became my own personal sword and shield. Or more to the point, they became my own personal band-aid.

When I got to high school, my frustration and maybe even confidence started to reach capacity. I remember being in math class, and the jock football player was sitting behind me and flicking my ear (cause that's apparently what dumb jocks do). When the teacher turned to write something on the board, I turned around and hit him in the face (the jock, not the teacher). The entire class gasped loudly. The teacher turned to ask what happened, and nobody said anything. During the remainder of the class, I got all these death threat notes explaining how he was going to kill me (or whatever it is jocks do to threaten little guys like me). I ignored them. As we walked out of the class, everyone followed us. I didn't care. He made more threats that I ignored and nothing ever happened. Was I foolish, or lucky? Maybe apathy saved me.

Eventually, I graduated from high school and things got much better. I moved away from my small town and lived happily ever after.

The end.

But wait... a few years later, something interesting happened that brought all those frustrations crashing around me again. Someone invented the internet!

I was one of the regular writers for a fairly small MSN group. There were maybe a hundred or two hundred members in the group total, but only a handful of us posted anything regularly. I usually did movie or music reviews. I generally tried to be nonsensical, but overall, I hoped I could entertain everyone.

But one day, something dark and disgusting happened. Someone anonymous started to post some very hurtful things about me. They posted personal information about my past, and tried very hard to discredit me. It seems in these 'enlightened' days, the internet allows bullies to abuse you anonymously.

Why??? At first, I tried to ignore it and sort of play along with this cruel joke at my expense. But the attacks got deeper, and not one person came to my side to defend me. Suddenly I was all alone. Suddenly, I was back in middle school again. I carried these painful attacks with me to work, and they kept me awake at night when I wanted to sleep.

I convinced MSN to delete the abusive posts, but the damage was done. I seriously wondered why I bothered writing. Writing was what I loved, and was proud of, but someone chose to shatter my shield and wound me all over again. I was ready to never write anything publicly again.

But, just like leaving high school, things got better. The dust settled and I finally started writing again fairly regularly, and some people seem to appreciate what I have to say.

But looking back, I have to ask... was I too sensitive? Do I have scars that are too deep, that are easy to tear open again?

An artist friend of mine had a very similar experience on his website. Someone targeted him and started sending some very abusive comments about his work. Is there really a point to this? I have always said, one way to improve is through criticism. Remember, I'm not perfect, so I am always open to criticism to help me improve. But there is a big difference between a critique, and an attack. And nobody wants to feel attacked and hurt.

The moral to these stories, are that nobody should have to put up with abuse of any kind. It is a horrible and painful way to live. It creates doubt and distrust in your heart and distracts you from who you should be. But yet, as Americans, we often play a bit roughly with each other, because it is sort of part of our culture.

I have a friend living in Japan who doesn't understand our American way of playfully jabbing at our friends. She doesn't get most of our sarcasm. But I sometimes feel like, the Japanese culture may be right. Where is that line of playful fun, and outright abuse?

The trademark ploy for most bullies is to say, they were only joking. But where is the line? Am I too familiar with verbal abuse as a child, that I can't take a joke as an adult?

Words can be weapons. When I write, I never want to hurt anyone with anything I say, so I choose my words very carefully. If someone asks my opinion on their work, I will always try to be sensitive to their feelings. I never want anyone to come back to me, and say, “Look how cruel you were to me when you said this!”. I don't want to hurt anyone, like I've been hurt, so I try very hard to type gently. But am I, at times, unintentionally abusive without even realizing it, because I live in the United States of Sarcasm?

Maybe the key word here is tolerance, but how do you make anyone tolerate someone who is different? Good parenting is a start. But how do you make someone be a good parent?

Another important key word is empathy. When you take a moment to put your brain inside someone's head for a bit, you might be able to understand how they feel.

Maybe we will never have clear answers to any of these questions. But for myself, years of therapy might be a good start.

And for bullies in schools today... shock collars.

Deeesher