Why I Hate Star Wars

Okay, I'll confess to a bit of click bait with this title, because I don't hate Star Wars.  The fact is, I want to love it!  But in my professional opinion, there is definitely a great disturbance in the force.  Sadly it seems, most eager fanboys/girls are too weak minded to see the Jedi mind tricks being used on us. 

"...omg omg omg look it's an X-Wing!!"
"...Look, it's Han Solo.... *squeeeeeee*!!"
"...I feel like I'm 8 years old again!!"
 *le sigh*

In the interest of full disclosure, I really enjoy my sci-fi (shocking, I know).  Since I was a wee little nerdling, I have loved things filled with imagination, and creativity and always look for something exciting and different and maybe even inspiring.  That's just how my brain works.  So long ago, it was easy for me to jump on the Star Wars bantha wagon with everyone else, collecting way too many toys and action figures and cards and bed sheets and toothbrushes and mugs and props and.... you get the idea.

What made Star Wars fun for me, was that it was new and different.  George Lucas invented a universe of great characters, places, and an exciting mythology that helped us easily forget about the real world.  And once that template was created, it opened up millions of possibilities.

But with such a vast universe to choose from, can all the stories be great?  I think the Prequels clearly answered that question.   There are definitely plenty of trash compactors trying to crush the life out of you in a galaxy far, far away.

"Oh Deeesher, you're just a hater and jaded by the prequels too much...!"
Untrue, my young Padawan.  There are a few aspects about the Prequels I liked!  I think Lucas could have created a great series from them, but sadly he had too many Yes-men blindly loving everything he did *COUGH*rickmccallum*COUGH*

When Lucas first began writing The Star Wars in 1974, the script went through many re-writes until he fine tuned it into something epic for the 1977 release.  During filming and editing, he was constantly being pushed, and everything was on a budget and producers were wheezing menacingly down his neck through a thick dark breath mask.

Then in 1999, when it came time for the prequels, Lucas quite literally owned the galaxy.  He essentially became Emperor and could do what he wanted at his own leisurely pace.  He had producers throwing millions of dollars at him saying we can make this bigger and put more and MORE AND MORE things on the screen so it will look like the most amazing thing ever made!  But they forgot to put any heart and soul into it.  Nobody ever said to George, they have a bad feeling about this.  Nobody ever seemed to suggest that he was going to... The Dark Side.

And now, many years later, after so many painful memories of the Prequels.... there has been an awakening.

Suddenly, Lucas the Hutt sold the entire franchise to Disney.  And honestly, this didn't bother me.  No, really.  I was okay with that, because I know Disney movies can be fun!  Between the original Pirates of the Caribbean, and more recently the Marvel movies, like Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, or Captain America.  And going back even further to Tron, The Black Hole, and Dragonslayer.  Disney might give Star Wars the breath of life it needed. 

But that was before the dark times...

Many years before the Disney deal, Lucasfilm officially announced there would never be another Star Wars movie.  So at that time, the Expanded Universe featured in the books and comics were officially canon.  In those days, many die-hard fans knew exactly what happened to Luke, Leia, Han, and even their children.

But with the announcement of a new movie, Disney suddenly created a new fate for those characters, and wiped out the EU stories... all of them.  So every one in the Expanded Universe suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.  I'll miss you most of all Mara Jade!

Then they said the new movie would be based on an outline originally conceived by Lucas himself.  Again, I had very mixed feelings about this.  But I was curious and open minded.

But their journey to the dark side was complete when they hired a director... J.J. Abrams.

There are so many great directors in the world.  But I honestly don't think Abrams is one of them.  And for the record, I'm not just talking about the lens flares.  I'm mostly talking about shaky cams during action sequences.  I'm talking about the bland color palettes he often uses.  I'm talking about how he can't seem to properly light a scene.  I'm talking about how many apologies he has made for his directing in the past, (such as gratuitous shot of Alice Eve in bra and panties, lens flares, trying to keep Khan storyline a secret etc).  I'm also talking about how one nerdy fanboy shouldn't oversee Star Wars AND Star Trek.  I wrote about it here if you're interested in reading about that kind of thing. 

But the one thing that makes me feel Sith to my stomach, is how nauseatingly obsessed everyone has become!  Sure Star Wars was popular after it's original release, but that was a more civilized age.  Some people rolled their eyes at my fanboy-ism, and that was okay!  But now, it seems every 30 seconds, there is another Star Wars reference somewhere.  From every commercial on TV/YouTube, every constant fan theory, meme, viral video and salivating fanboy/girl telling everyone how this is the most awesome movie in the world, before they've even seen it... how can I escape to a galaxy far, far away, if the real world is covered in Star Wars?  How can I continue liking something, when everyone is shoving it down my throat and telling me how great it is?  I feel as if I'm drowning in Star Wars. 

And therein lies the basis of my hate.

1.  Re-hashing old characters that should remain young and epic in our memories.
2.  Deleting unique Expanded Universe characters and stories we loved.
3.  Hiring a sub-par director.
4.  Cramming more and MORE AND MORE Star Wars in our face so we can't breathe.
5.  Millions of overly obsessed fans gulping down every drop like it's blue milk meth.
...it feels more like a painful obligation.  It's suddenly stopped being fun and unique.

But there is good in it.... I have felt it.

There is so much potential in this modern mythology, I'm always eager to see something new from this franchise.  We have such a huge galaxy to explore, and I can't understand why everyone is so focused on the same characters ad nauseam.

Like what you might ask?  Perfect examples are here:



Or, how about this:



Holy crap that looks freakin' AWESOME!!!  I want to know more!  I want to learn about these characters and this story!  If you didn't know, this was the BioWare game, Kights of the Republic.  You get a lot of unique interesting stories and characters, all taking place hundreds of years before Luke Skywalker was ever born.

And if you do love the original trilogy and want to relive those moments, listen to the radio show.  Hearing so much new and impressive details recreated through only sound, really makes me smiles:



And for the record, I wasn't a fan of the animation on Clone Wars the series, but the stories just got better and better!  It's all available on Netflix now, and I highly recommend watching.  It gives you depth and detail to the characters and events that Lucas could never show in the Prequels, with some fantastic action!

But honestly, if you need Star Wars to feel like you're 8 years old again... you're doing something wrong.  I have had many of those moments in the last few years watching some movies and television shows.  Specifically, Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers, The Flash, Doctor Who, Iron Man, Captain America, Tron Legacy, Ant-Man, Spider-man (the first two Tobey Maguire versions), Ash vs. Evil Dead... well, maybe not that last one so much.  But still VERY FREAKIN' COOL!!

So I'm sorry if I'm the one rolling my eyes by your seemingly single-minded over-obsession.  I was there many years ago, but I've moved on with my life.  I'll watch the new movie, but I'm keeping an open mind.  And for those of you that think I can't be objective, I say HA! to you, because I expected Joss Whedon to fail at making Avengers!  I was pleasantly surprised and I wrote all about it here.  But it's never easy to love something that makes me feel like I'm being brainwashed to enjoy it.

Now let's all take a moment and study other important aspects of this franchise....

*le sigh*
Deeesher

Sensitivity Training aka Bullying Rant

I'm not perfect. I know, as difficult as it is to believe, it's true! But honestly, I'm okay with that. Sure I strive for perfection, (mostly because I am very OCD), but most times, I fall short. Over the years, I hope I have improved, sometimes through helpful suggestions of others, and sometimes noticing my own issues I needed to address. But I have learned that nobody is in fact perfect.

Sadly, it seems some people still expect perfection. Some people have this vision of how you should behave and how you should look. And if you don't fit into their ideal cookie cutter mold, then it becomes obvious (to them), you're a loser, and they are eager to point out all your flaws.

I would like to think, that in these 'enlightened' days, people are more tolerant of others, or at the very least accept differences in others. But there are apparently still bullies in the world. A bully likes to think he is better than you. A bully is very quick to explain all the reasons you are inferior, and will find every one of your imperfections and focus on them to make you look as small as possible.

I think most of us have experienced bullying in some form or other, but it seems nerds/geeks are the most obvious common target for them. I recently read an article about someone dressing as a Star Wars Stormtrooper at a charity event. Some kids came up behind him and pushed him. Why??? This type of bullying seems stupid, hurtful and a very obvious waste of time.

But what about verbal bullying? It tends to be a bit more vague, however, it is still just as real, and just as disgusting and I will never understand it.

When I was young and maybe extra nerdy, I was always a bit different. I don't mean I had three arms, or two heads or anything like that, but I didn't fit into the cookie cutter mold.

Ironically, in grade school, I was considered one of the 'cool kids' *gasp!*. Partly because there were only about twenty kids in my class, and partly because I was one of the few that weren't Amish. This was a pretty big deal in my very small Indiana town.

Then I moved on to middle school, and suddenly realized my place in life. This isn't something I thought of, but it seemed everyone was eager to point it out to me. You see, I had some very nerdy interests. I liked science fiction. And as any of the cool kids in school will tell you, having an imagination is the worst thing you can do with your life (apparently).

But having an imagination was only the tip of the outcast iceberg. I was a little guy, and I hated sports. And as most kids in a small town will tell you... that means I was obviously gay.

Let me state for the record, I am not gay. I've never been gay, and personally, I can't understand how any man (or woman) could ever be attracted to another man, cause I find men sort of yucky and gross. Especially when women are so hot!!

But let me also say that if you're reading this, and you are gay, I have the utmost respect and empathy for any abuse you dealt with growing up (or even as adults). Cause I was right there with you, hearing every one of the taunts and all the harsh name calling.

There were days I hated the idea of going to school, or riding on the bus. There were days I dreaded eating in the cafeteria and there were just some classes that I really wanted to avoid. Even subjects that I was sort of interested in, suddenly became pointless and a drudgery to study, because it all had to do with that disgusting place of abuse, called Middle School.

Before you start thinking everything was all bad, I was very fortunate to have great parents and really cool friends. But there are just some things you can't talk to your parents about. What will they do? Fight your battles for you? Yea, that should clear up all your problems *cough cough* And even my friends couldn't be there all the time. So what's the solution?

For me, the solution was writing. It was a fantastic outlet for me! Whether I wrote science fiction, or poetry, or even a free writing prose, it was cathartic to get all those feelings out, and for a short time, drift to another world mentally. For the record, I did study self defense books. But the type of bullies I dealt with, didn't beat me up (although there were maybe three fights I can recall). For the most part, they used words. So I needed better words. My writing became my own personal sword and shield. Or more to the point, they became my own personal band-aid.

When I got to high school, my frustration and maybe even confidence started to reach capacity. I remember being in math class, and the jock football player was sitting behind me and flicking my ear (cause that's apparently what dumb jocks do). When the teacher turned to write something on the board, I turned around and hit him in the face (the jock, not the teacher). The entire class gasped loudly. The teacher turned to ask what happened, and nobody said anything. During the remainder of the class, I got all these death threat notes explaining how he was going to kill me (or whatever it is jocks do to threaten little guys like me). I ignored them. As we walked out of the class, everyone followed us. I didn't care. He made more threats that I ignored and nothing ever happened. Was I foolish, or lucky? Maybe apathy saved me.

Eventually, I graduated from high school and things got much better. I moved away from my small town and lived happily ever after.

The end.

But wait... a few years later, something interesting happened that brought all those frustrations crashing around me again. Someone invented the internet!

I was one of the regular writers for a fairly small MSN group. There were maybe a hundred or two hundred members in the group total, but only a handful of us posted anything regularly. I usually did movie or music reviews. I generally tried to be nonsensical, but overall, I hoped I could entertain everyone.

But one day, something dark and disgusting happened. Someone anonymous started to post some very hurtful things about me. They posted personal information about my past, and tried very hard to discredit me. It seems in these 'enlightened' days, the internet allows bullies to abuse you anonymously.

Why??? At first, I tried to ignore it and sort of play along with this cruel joke at my expense. But the attacks got deeper, and not one person came to my side to defend me. Suddenly I was all alone. Suddenly, I was back in middle school again. I carried these painful attacks with me to work, and they kept me awake at night when I wanted to sleep.

I convinced MSN to delete the abusive posts, but the damage was done. I seriously wondered why I bothered writing. Writing was what I loved, and was proud of, but someone chose to shatter my shield and wound me all over again. I was ready to never write anything publicly again.

But, just like leaving high school, things got better. The dust settled and I finally started writing again fairly regularly, and some people seem to appreciate what I have to say.

But looking back, I have to ask... was I too sensitive? Do I have scars that are too deep, that are easy to tear open again?

An artist friend of mine had a very similar experience on his website. Someone targeted him and started sending some very abusive comments about his work. Is there really a point to this? I have always said, one way to improve is through criticism. Remember, I'm not perfect, so I am always open to criticism to help me improve. But there is a big difference between a critique, and an attack. And nobody wants to feel attacked and hurt.

The moral to these stories, are that nobody should have to put up with abuse of any kind. It is a horrible and painful way to live. It creates doubt and distrust in your heart and distracts you from who you should be. But yet, as Americans, we often play a bit roughly with each other, because it is sort of part of our culture.

I have a friend living in Japan who doesn't understand our American way of playfully jabbing at our friends. She doesn't get most of our sarcasm. But I sometimes feel like, the Japanese culture may be right. Where is that line of playful fun, and outright abuse?

The trademark ploy for most bullies is to say, they were only joking. But where is the line? Am I too familiar with verbal abuse as a child, that I can't take a joke as an adult?

Words can be weapons. When I write, I never want to hurt anyone with anything I say, so I choose my words very carefully. If someone asks my opinion on their work, I will always try to be sensitive to their feelings. I never want anyone to come back to me, and say, “Look how cruel you were to me when you said this!”. I don't want to hurt anyone, like I've been hurt, so I try very hard to type gently. But am I, at times, unintentionally abusive without even realizing it, because I live in the United States of Sarcasm?

Maybe the key word here is tolerance, but how do you make anyone tolerate someone who is different? Good parenting is a start. But how do you make someone be a good parent?

Another important key word is empathy. When you take a moment to put your brain inside someone's head for a bit, you might be able to understand how they feel.

Maybe we will never have clear answers to any of these questions. But for myself, years of therapy might be a good start.

And for bullies in schools today... shock collars.

Deeesher