Star Trek: The Ultimate Review - Part One

I'm about to drop some truth photon torpedoes on you. And while none of them will contain Spock's body, I hope you will find them all to be quite... logical.

"Hey Deeesher, do you prefer Star Wars or Star Trek?"

I prefer good writing.
To clarify, I have a real problem with blind devotion over any franchise. Whether we're talking about Star Trek, Star Wars, Marvel or DC, there are always some great versions, and some not so great versions. Anyone that says, "...We should be happy we're getting new *insert franchise here*!", clearly has no idea what they're talking about. This is how we get the Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Batman and Robin (bat-nipples anyone?), and of course, The Star Wars Holiday Special. I hope I've made my point.

I always want studios to respect the source material, but if they change something, make it a good change. As fans, we deserve to be given a quality product. And if it's badly written, call them out on it! If the online fan fiction is better than the theatrical release, Hollywood should be ashamed of themselves.

*DISCLAIMER
Before giving my reviews, I want to make it very clear, these are MY opinions. Your opinions may vary, and that's great, because you are human (allegedly). I'm not here to change anyone's mind. I just want to try to put things into perspective and explain why I like/dislike something. So if I should say anything you strongly disagree with, please try to refrain from becoming overly emotional. My motto remains the same:
I prefer aliens to alienation.

Space... the final frontier. Before these legendary words could be spoken by the equally legendary William Shatner in 1966, creator Gene Roddenberry (aka The Great Bird of the Galaxy... yes, that's his real alias) had quite an uphill battle ahead of him. Originally pitched in 1964, his vision of a wagon train to the stars was to be a space western set hundreds of years in the future *COUGH*firefly*COUGH*, with the crew of the Enterprise exploring strange new worlds. Every week, they would seek out new life, and new civilizations. Basically, they would be boldly going where no man (or woman) had gone before...

In those days, getting a series like this sold was quite a challenge, because most studio execs just didn't get it. But there was one major exec that loved the idea, who just happened to own a studio: Lucille Ball, of Desilu Productions, aka the Godmother of Star Trek.

She approved a pilot, and Star Trek began filming the first episode, titled The Cage. This version starred Jeffrey Hunter as Captain Christopher Pike and a female first officer *gasp* simply called Number One, (played by soon-to-be Mrs. Roddenberry, Majel Barrett).

But still, studio execs didn't get it. And they genuinely hated "the guy with the ears", Mr. Spock (Leonard Nimoy). They felt the story was just too cerebral for audiences.

Roddenberry tweaked some stuff and created a second pilot, called Where No Man Has Gone Before. Rumor has it that Jeffrey Hunter's wife didn't feel Star Trek was right for him, and preferred he focus on a movie career instead, so he was 'unavailable' for the second pilot. Instead of re-casting Pike, the roll of captain was re-invented for William Shatner to play Captain James T. Kirk. And yes, they kept the guy with the ears.

This was finally accepted, and season one of Star Trek could begin it's five year mission.

And, over fifty years later, the legacy continues. But it has gone through MANY different incarnations, with each version quite different from the last. And I don't mean simply in appearance. Of course special effects get updated, but the heart and soul of the series has changed. Whether that's good or bad depends on your personal views. 

I would say the entire franchise can be broken down into three distinct parts. And that is exactly how I'm going to write this review. Let's begin our adventure with: 
The Original Series (TOS).

The Cage (unaired pilot - 1965)

Personally, I love it. There are a lot of good story elements, and it's interesting seeing Captain Pike convey the heavy burden of his command. 
"I'm tired of deciding which mission is too risky and which isn't. And who's going on the landing party and who doesn't. And who lives. And who dies." 

So when the Talosians give him an opportunity to live his life in a perfect fantasy illusion, you can easily empathize with how conflicted he feels. This becomes particularly difficult after meeting Vina, who they decide will be his mate. 

Vina was played by the beautiful and talented, Susan Oliver who, in the real world, following two near fatal plane crashes, decided to became a licensed pilot and was named pilot of the year in 1970. She would also be one of 19 women admitted into the American Film Institute's Directing Workshop for Women (DWW), and was one of the first female directors for television. 

In this pilot episode of Star Trek, she also became the first green Orion slave girl, predating Slave Leia by about twenty years.

It's a great episode, but is it a good place to begin watching the series? Maybe not...? There is definitely some good drama, but I can see how people with short attention spans might not appreciate it. This is real science fiction. And yes, there is some action scenes, but they also spend time discussing what's going on, and how to resolve it. Fundamentally, this is (should be) the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

Star Trek: "What do these aliens want? How can we communicate with them? How can we convince them we mean them no harm so they don't kill us all?"

Star Wars: "Look! Something evil! I'm going to throw it across the room with magic!"

Neither one is bad, and I think both have their place... if well written. I found The Cage very well written.

Star Trek: The Original Series (1966-1969)

"Hey Deeesher, you must be old since you like a show from the 1960s!"
First, I'm still a millennial, and in a few years, I'll be Gen Z... as far as you know. Obviously I have no idea how age works.

The point is, there are many shows and movies I enjoy that were created before I was born. You just need a high tolerance for low budget effects. If all you see are cheap effects, you really aren't paying attention to the story. 

Obviously we all want realism in our science fiction, but not unlike reading these things called 'books', you can sometimes use this thing called your 'imagination'. And in fairness, for the 1960s, those effects were really pretty good. 

Fortunately for us, those not-so-great-for-today effects are a thing of the past. Due to it's popularity, Star Trek received a makeover a few years ago, and the effects were thoroughly updated and the series completely remastered. Maybe this will help some of you holdouts accept it more.

As a kid, I don't remember understanding Star Trek, but I do remember it often terrified me. Although at the time, I think nearly everything terrified me.

As an adult (ish), this is my favorite incarnation of Star Trek. Over the years, I've learned to really respect some of the amazing performances, as well as the great writing. It helped that many episodes were crafted by real science fiction writers, such as Harlan Ellison, David Gerald, Robert Bloch, and Norman Spinrad. In most cases however, Roddenberry himself, or his script editor, DC Fontana, would make some adjustments to the final version. If the rumors are true, even Shatner himself had a hand in some changes to the script, much to the chagrin of the writers. Harlan Ellison even wrote a whole book about his frustration with the process, (which I highly recommend!). 

If I could, I would sit down with you and watch some of these episodes, giving my commentary on each moment, so you have a better understanding of why I appreciate this series. In lieu of that, let me try to convey some of the nuances with my top five quick picks, (aka required viewing) to try to explain the genius contained within this series. 

And no, I will not being doing such a detailed breakdown on the other Trek shows. While other versions are good, I feel like these are worthy of a closer look. 

1. Doomsday Machine

This episode deserves all the awards. The Enterprise finds a trail of rubble in a solar system that once contained several planets. Upon further investigation, they find the Constellation, another Federation ship, which had been badly damaged after a battle with, what is basically a giant planet killer... a Doomsday Machine. The commander, Commodore Matt Decker (William Windhom) is the only survivor after sending his entire crew to one of the planets, fearing the Constellation would be destroyed in the battle. Then he has to watch helplessly as the Doomsday Machine suddenly looses interest in his ship.

Kirk: "Matt, where's your crew?"
Decker: "On the third planet."
Kirk: "There is no third planet."
Decker: "Don't you think I know that? There was, but not any more!"

Windhom's performance is simply amazing. Essentially playing Captain Ahab from Moby Dick, his thirst for revenge drives him completely insane. Decker commandeers the Enterprise trying to destroy this seemingly unstoppable killing machine, while Kirk is trapped on the derelict Constellation, helpless to save his own crew from this madman. If you aren't on the edge of your seat by the last ten minutes, you've obviously spent too much time staring at your phone during this episode. The editing, story, and performances are just fantastic.

And the glue to hold it all together, is the brilliant score by composer Sol Kaplan, written specifically for this episode. FYI the "Planet Killer" theme would eventually inspire John Williams in composing the theme for Jaws.

This is why I love Star Trek!

2. Mirror, Mirror

Even in the future, we need tech support. And never is it more obvious than when a transporter malfunction accidentally sends the away team to an alternate universe. And the people in this particular alternate universe are not so nice. One might even say they are self-centered, sadistic, and opportunistic. Somehow, Kirk and his team have to figure out a way to blend in to avoid being detected, while discretely trying to find a way back to their own universe. Some great moments as everyone explores their own dark side, not to mention a wonderful speech where Kirk tries desperately to inspire a revolution. I'm not even mad at their uniforms.

3. The Naked Time

A crewmember contracts a disease on a quarantined planet after removing his glove and touching his face, (um... ahead of their time?). Transmitted through touch, the results are that everyone behaves insane in their own unique way. To make matters worse, one of the crewmen has locked himself in the engine room and randomly starts pressing buttons for fun, not only causing the ship to spiral towards the planet below, but completely shutting down the engines in the process.  

There are plenty of great moments, and seeing the exasperated look on everyone's face as they continue to try to do their job, while others are falling apart around them is fantastic. 

But maybe the most powerful scene is how Mr. Spock reacts to the disease. Leonard Nimoy's performance is chilling, as a logical Vulcan who desperately tries to stay in control of his own emotions, but fails. The camera follows him with no edits as he desperately tries to keep his feelings in check. 

4. Amok Time

Speaking of Mr. Spock... Let's take a moment to discuss Vulcans.

Space is big. I mean really big. So it comes to reason that it's populated with a vast array of aliens that not only look much different than us, but have completely different philosophies. Having explored a bit of the original series lore, I always felt Vulcans were extremely... fascinating. Like us, they have emotions, but through mental disciplines, they've learned to control them. It was necessary for the survival of their race. In their past, they were a brutal war-like society, but thanks to the teaching of Surak, he helped them overcome their animalistic nature. He taught them a logical and unemotional way to a better world. 

And whether due to their purge of emotions, or just common Vulcan physiology, they do have a rather unique issue that has to be dealt with. Every seven years, they need to mate, or they will go insane and die. And no, this is not something they are proud of. In the original series, there was a certain privacy and mysticism surrounding Vulcans, and generally speaking, Starfleet, or at least humans, never knew about many of those details. I read somewhere that Vulcans had a certain power in their hands, which is why they don't greet by shaking hands. This is also how they perform the nerve pinch, and mind melds. And did I mention they are much stronger than the average human...?

So I particularly love this episode, partly to explore Spock's homeworld, partly because of yet another fantastic score composed specifically for this episode, and partly because it's a great story.

We also see Vulcan women, and no they do NOT have the same bowl haircut as the men as future incarnations of Star Trek will have you believe. For example, here is Spock's wife.

Which brings us to...

5. Balance of Terror

Ever notice how Vulcans and Romulans look alike? That's because hundreds of years ago, when Vulcans purged their emotions, there was a segment of their society that hated the idea, so they left the planet. They relocated on planet Romulus and became... Romulans.

This is the first appearance of Romulans, and their cloaking device. It's an amazing cat and mouse story with Kirk battling wits with the Romulan commander. It also features an important message about racism. One of the helmsmen suspects Spock to be a Romulan spy after seeing their similarities in appearance.

Stiles: "I was suggesting that Mr. Spock could probably translate it, sir."
Kirk: "I assume you're complimenting Mr. Spock on his ability to decode?"
Stiles: "I'm not sure, sir."
Kirk: "Well, here's one thing you can be sure of, mister: leave any bigotry in your quarters. There's no room for it on the bridge."

And FYI, the actor playing the Romulan Commander would eventually become known as Sarek, who is Spock's father. 

Left is the Romulan Commander. Right is Sarek, Spock's father. Both are Mark Leonard. 

So those are my particular top five, however depending on my mood, I could have easily substituted:

Man Trap - An alien that feeds on the salt in humans, and can disguise itself as anyone. This creature gave me nightmares for years!

Trouble with Tribbles - Funny episode involving Tribbles that are cute and fuzzy, and continue to multiply.

Galileo 7 - Spock commands a shuttle that crashes on a desolate planet. He tries to keep everyone alive, but the crew accuse him of being too unemotional during the crisis.

City on the Edge of Forever - Considered by most fans to be the best episode. Unless of course you're the writer, Harlan Ellison, who hated it. Kirk and Spock travel back to the 1930s to rescue McCoy after he accidentally overdoses on a drug, and changes time. Love story with Joan Collins ensues. It's definitely worth adding to the list.

Space Seed - This was the inspiration for the second Star Trek movie, Wrath of Khan. Ricardo Montalbon is fantastic. Like rich corinthian leather.

You could also include, This Side of Paradise, All Our Yesterdays, Assignment Earth, Tholian Web, Wink of an Eye, Tomorrow is Yesterday, and I Mudd.

Star Trek: The Animated Series (1973-1975)

There's a big debate about whether this series is actually canon or not. It has all the original actors, as well as many of the creative team behind it. And having re-watched recently, there are some very well written episodes. Unfortunately, they were limited to not-so-great animation, and had to resolve an entire story in less than thirty minutes. Had they been full length live action episodes, some of these story ideas would have been great! But often the episodes felt rushed, and the low budget is frustratingly obvious. Season one for the most part, is well written, but later episodes in season two felt like they tried to simplify stories to appease the younger Saturday morning audiences. They're really not bad. But this particular series is definitely for the more hardcore fans.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

This is where it all changed.

Star Trek had an overwhelming fanbase at the time. One might even call them rabid. There was a demand for the series to continue, but nothing ever panned out. There were plans for a Star Trek Phase II series, with a new crew... like a 'next generation' crew, if you will. But this never happened either.

Fortunately for us, George Lucas made a movie called Star Wars in 1977. And as you can imagine, suddenly studios wanted some of that sweet, sweet sci-fi box office money. So studio execs desperately pulled some elements of ST: Phase II out of their trash bin, and in 1979, a Star Trek Motion Picture was approved.

In many ways, this version of Star Trek could easily be equated to Star Wars The Phantom Menace. Sure everyone flocked to the theater to see it, and the fan knee-jerk reaction was to love it. But is it what we wanted?

 From Leonard Nimoy:
"It was a very finely crafted film, and it did well. But from the actor's point of view frankly, it was frustrating. We didn't feel that we were getting to play the characters that we enjoyed playing in the way that we knew how to play them, and it was frustrating for Gene Roddenberry too. It wasn't the story or script he had wanted, and the gaps seemed filled with too much emphasis on special effects."

For some reason, it was rated G. They hired the director of West Side Story (Robert Wise), and he initially didn't want to do it, but his wife convinced him. There were constant re-writes during shooting. The music was different, (although good), the uniforms were drastically different (ugly and very bland), the characters felt plastic, and the dialogue was often cheesy. Even the Klingons suddenly looked completely different for no reason whatsoever. Sure the effects looked great, but we got way too much of that. There were seemingly endless scenes of the camera just panning across the ship. Before the Paramount logo appears, there is over a minute of music with a blank screen. During the first appearance of the Enterprise, there is over four minutes of the camera panning around the ship as Kirk and Scotty fly around in a shuttle. No dialogue, just music and the Enterprise... for four minutes! I cannot confirm whether or not Kirk was actually masturbating during those four minutes. 

The story was okay, but this was not the Star Trek we had grown to love. And it's unfortunate, because from this movie, the franchise was never the same again.

That's not to say there aren't still good versions of Star Trek. Case in point...

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

This is the Star Trek fans wanted! Instead of focusing on effects, they dealt with characters, story, and action. And they did it beautifully. Everyone was at the top of their game, particularly Ricardo Montalban, who should have won all the awards for reviving his performance of Khan, and ramping it up exponentially.

Following the events from the original series episode, Space Seed, Khan's hatred for Kirk was fueled to rather epic proportions. After escaping his exile, he eventually tracks down Kirk to extract his vengeance.

And can we talk about the soundtrack here?? The music composed by James Horner easily rivals John Williams, and is one of my favorite movie soundtracks.

We also got a new character. Kirstie Alley played the half Romulan half Vulcan, Lt. Saavik.

Now, if I'm being completely honest, I think the casting of Merrit Butrick as Kirk's son just felt wrong. But there's so many other wonderful things about this movie, I try to overlook it.

 Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

How can I explain this movie, without spoiling the events of Wrath of Khan? Well, it's been a few years, so maybe you know by now, Spock died. Or did he? Sarek (Spock's father) tells Kirk they need to get his body so they can bring him back to life. Obviously, they have to search for him, despite Starfleet telling him no.

I think this movie is too underrated. I really enjoyed it, and there are some very good moments in this one.

And for some reason, Lt Saavik is played by Robin Curtis this time. I'm not mad.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)

Directed by Leonard Nimoy, this is another fan favorite. The characters started to once again feel like they did in the original series (finally!). They had fun, and it shows. Even the story felt like it could have been in one of the episodes of the series. It was an original idea, and not connected to the other movies, except continuing where Star Trek III ended.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

Um, do I have to talk about this one? Ugh... fine. It was a movie. I'm sure they made money from it.

Okay, a bit more. Directed by William Shatner (for some reason), we suddenly find out that Spock has a brother and I guess he wants to meet God.

This is also where the rumor began that all odd number Trek movies suck. And I'll say again, I liked III. But yeah, you can not only skip it, but ignore that it was ever made.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)

Another enjoyable movie. Not one of the best, but some good moments as the crew tries to unravel a mystery, and Kirk deals with his own prejudice against Klingons. It helps that we have a fantastic cast, particularly one David Warner, who has always been one of my favorite actors.

This is also the last we see of the original series cast together. Bittersweet, but it was time for their journey to come to an end.

And this is where part one of my review ends. Coming up: The Next Generation.

Live Long and Stuff,

Deeesher

The Hobbit - Tales of the Deeesher

At the risk of offending some of you, Kanye West is wrong. While I'm sure we agree on many other topics (whoever he is), Kanye doesn't believe in reading books. But the reality is you definitely should read. Read lots of books. Read them often. Read them hard. 

In grade school, I started reading Hardy Boys, most likely because our school "book collection" (definitely not a library) wasn't so impressive, and my guess is, I probably liked the covers too. I'm not sure I really understood them, but I loved the idea of using my own brain to create imaginative scenes from printed words. 

Then in 5th grade, I discovered a short story called Fever Dream, by Ray Bradbury. It truly changed my life! I needed so much more of this! So soon after, I got Fahrenheit 451, then Martian Chronicles, Something Wicked this Way Comes, and eventually The Illustrated Man. Those books were so important to me! I fell in love with Bradbury's imagination, and "poetic" style of writing. It also helped that they were a great escape from the real world (aka school), which generally sucked. This inspired me to join the science fiction book club, and get lots more books. I can't say I read them all... but I wanted to! 

I could go on about some of my favorites, like Roger Zelazny's Chronicles of Amber, or Douglas Adam's Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. And then I'd have to rant about how I became obsessed with Harlan Ellison's writing, who was one of the people I credit for making me who I am today. I can't say if that's good or bad, but regardless, that's what happened. 

So here we are, a few years after high school, and due to life being rather "life-y", I don't read nearly as often. In the last few years, I have picked up some of the classics, such as random Edgar Allan Poe stories, as well as the first Sherlock Holmes book, (which was awesome!). I also started reading Moby Dick, but kept getting distracted and still haven't finished it. I enjoy what I've read so far, and I want to finish it, I swear! I just need to get back into that reading mindset, and simply ignore life's annoying little influences. 

It does help that I surround myself with nerdy friends that enjoy berating me for not having read some of those classics. As I'm sure you can imagine, nerd peer pressure can leave you feeling rather desolated. But never are they more eager to take away my nerd card than when I tell them I haven't read... The Lord of the Rings. Yes, they react about the same way you just did. Sorry! 

In my defense, fantasy books were never my thing. Which is strange, because I played Dungeons and Dragons! Tolkien could easily be credited as the co-creator of D&D. But when I read books, I prefer something otherworldly, futuristic, or at the very least, a bizarre twist on our modern life. 

So it took me some time, but after my friends came down on me like wizards at my doorstep, they finally convinced me to go on an adventure, whether I wanted to or not. And after going there, and back, I'm ready to give you my review of:

The Hobbit

*Disclaimer

Normally I keep my reviews spoiler free. However since it's been over eighty years ago, I hope you'll understand if I cover some of the more poignant details in the story. If you'd rather not have anything spoiled here, please read the book and come right back. If you need encouragement to begin, I have some rather militant nerdy friends that would be willing to have a talk with you. 

Okay, show of hands, how many of you knew The Hobbit was a children's book? So... everyone but me. Fine. Yes it was written for children, which explains the songs and silly names (Dwalin, Balin, Kili, Fili, Dori, Nori, Ori etc). Keeping in mind that children from the 1930s were already far more intelligent than most adults today, it still made for a fairly easy read.  

Bilbo was a great character, and I could uncomfortably identify with his desire to sit at home and do nothing. But somehow Gandalf and the Dwarves convinced him to get out of the house. How? Apparently because thirteen on an adventure was unlucky...? But unless there is a great reveal later as to why it had to be Bilbo, I think there were plenty of other professional types of burglars they could have hired in the Prancing Pony tavern nearby. But I guess Halflings gotta have a hero too, so...

The actual travelling part of the book seemed to drag a bit, (as is common with most extensive journeys). But it was always fun seeing Bilbo become the reluctant hero. Whether fighting giant spiders, or playing uncomfortable riddle games with Gollum, or even negotiating peace with Bard, he was consistently clever and very good at thinking on his furry little feet, mostly out of desperation. And as we all know, a hero is only as good as the villain, and Bilbo was always facing some very interesting enemies. I particularly liked this Gollum creature, and hope we get to see more of him in the future! 

"...But Deeesher, what about the other heroes???"
Um... I guess Gandalf had a couple nice moments. Maybe I skimmed past the scenes where the other Dwarves saved the day? Okay, let's be honest, this entire book could have happened with just Thorin, Bilbo, and Gandalf. Well, whenever Gandalf wasn't off doing 'other things'. If you want to look at this metaphorically, an argument could be made that Gandalf was the "parent" letting Bilbo learn to do things for himself. But I prefer to think that Gandalf just had a bad gambling problem. Regularly he was teleporting out to the tracks because he had money riding on the ponies. Hey, he was a wizard, not the 'lead-to-gold' alchemist kind.

Now let's take a moment to talk about Dwarves.
Ugh... They're a hairy, beer guzzling, unkempt, warmongering race. My guess is they don't even bathe nearly as often as they should making them also quite smelly. Not only did Bilbo repeatedly have to save them, they did absolutely nothing to further the plot. In fact, they often seemed rather ungrateful for all the times Bilbo did have to save them! One Fourteenth was his cut... seriously?? He should have re-negotiated that contract. More like two-thirds the treasure by the time they got there! 

Having said that, I confess I did get a bit choked up when Thorin finally reconciled with Bilbo in the end. After all they've been through, it was good to see him come to terms with how much Bilbo really did try to help the disgusting hairy little bastards.

So I'm happy that I finally read The Hobbit, and I'm curious to read the next books in the series. I stand with many other LOTR fans in saying that the Peter Jackson Hobbit trilogy really sucked in comparison. He extended a lot of scenes that didn't need to be extended, added elements that didn't need to be added, and with a budget of millions of dollars, I will never understand how he made those effects look so bad!

However, if you get a chance to see the 1977 Hobbit animated movie, I think you will find that a much closer adaptation. And nothing against the Peter Jackson/Andy Serkis version of Gollum, but the animated version made him rather nightmare inducing *shivers*

Your Precious,
Deeesher

Avengers Endgame Review (Non-Spoiler)

"We're in the endgame now."
- Doctor Strange, Infinity War

Okay, let's make this short and sweet... unlike the runtime of Avengers Endgame, which is nearly 3 hours long, (pace your drinking habits).

First, let me repeat the common sense philosophy I said before: If you don't like superhero movies, this was not made for you. Especially if you haven't seen any of the other previous Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) movies in the last 11 years. Although an argument could be made that you don't have to watch ALL 21 movies. You might be able to watch 8 or 10 of them to get fully up to speed. At this point, it's essentially a career move.

However, if you have seen them, and you do love superhero movies, and find yourself emotionally invested in the fate of these characters, (as many of us are), I really think you'll appreciate Avengers Endgame. But just how much? Let's discuss...

The first thirty minutes weigh a bit heavy, as our heroes come to terms with their losses from Infinity War, (although having gone out in public, personally I often feel Thanos did nothing wrong). But once we get past that mourning period, we're treated to The Avengers Greatest Hits. Without giving anything away, there are lots of references and nods to some of the best moments from their past. Yes, you could call this the Avengers Awesome Mix Tape.. but with so much more!

The length of this movie is mostly justifiable, because there are so many story elements to process and resolve. Realistically, they could have trimmed some of it out, but along the way, we get lots of good laughs, some "F* YEAH!" cheer scenes... as well as some very sad conclusions. Combining all those things effectively is what this movie does right. It's quite the emotional roller coaster, and a beautiful ending to an epic story. 

"But Deeesher, is it really the end...??"

First, stop asking questions. The MCU has plenty of sequels already in production. This universe isn't going anywhere. But for me, they did tie up all the loose ends with a pretty bow. 

"But..."

I said stop asking questions! Okay, as much as I did enjoy this movie, you have to suspend disbelief a bit more than I normally like. Sure, I accept that an alien from space collects a bunch of colored stones to wipe out half the population of the universe. But I want my story telling to be a bit more linear in thinking. And we all knew there would be some time travel here, and unfortunately, that kind of thing tends to be a bit sketchy. Maybe they'll clear up some of those details in upcoming releases. I've already heard that the repercussions from this will change certain aspects of the existing time line. Ugh... 

Nitpicking aside, this didn't detract much from my enjoyment. Like the previous Avengers movies, no one character or performance stood out. Everyone did very well in their respective roles, although you could say Robert Downey Jr might have nudged out the others just a bit. But, with sooooooo many Avengers in the lineup, they focus primarily on 10 (or so) of the main characters. And if you have a favorite hero from any of the previous 21 movies, don't worry, you will see ALL of them doing some pretty cool stuff. There are plenty of beautiful hero shots that will bring a tear to your eye. 

Many of you know, in the past, I've had some misgivings with the Russo Brothers, who have directed a few previous MCU movies. Some scenes still seemed poorly lit (doesn't anyone in space have light bulbs??), and some of the action seemed a bit too close, but otherwise it looks like they got some of my notes (you're welcome!). In the end, this is how you make a movie that respects so many classic characters. This is what you get when the 'suits' listens to the fans!  

So, if I may channel my inner Stan Lee,

Excelsior!

Deeesher

Aquaman 2019 Review

If you ask the nerds, there is an ongoing competition for superiority between Marvel and DC live action comic book movies. Truth be told, both companies want the other to do well. A successful superhero movie can easily drive audiences out to see another one. For the most part, in my humble opinion, Marvel seems to be very successful making the jump to the big screen. Also in my humble opinion, DC is very successful... in their animated department. I don't think they are very good in their live action releases. So after quite a few missteps, can they take one of the most unpopular heroes and make him likable? 

I say unpopular, because Aquaman has always been the butt of many superhero jokes. 

However, he has gone through a few changes in recent years, to try to make him look cool. 

And now we have Jason Momoa. In the past, an Aquaman Hero Pose was a bit of an oxymoron. And now...

And as I'm sure millions (billions?) of women will agree, Jason Momoa is one of the reasons this movie works! I don't think he was necessarily 'acting'. He just showed up and was himself, which is actually pretty impressive. If you don't believe me, look up Jason Momoa throwing an axe, drinking beer, playing bass, or jumping off cliffs.

But with all that charisma, your co-star had better be able to keep up with you. And honestly, I don't think Mera (Amber Heard) could do it. The chemistry between them felt very forced, and her performance was just there. She looked great! But I don't think they're right for each other. Let's all say it together: "You can do better...!"

Ugh... I think?

Now Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) and Momoa have chemistry! Sadly, we don't get to see nearly enough of this relationship! The movie focuses primarily on his overly convoluted family issues and all the undersea ruling kingdoms. I understand why this was important for his origin story, but it felt like it dragged occasionally. And at a running time of 2 hours and 23 minutes, you do not want your undersea adventure to drag. Towards the end, it devolved into the Lord of the Rings, with billions of tiny CGI characters attacking billions of other tiny CGI characters. I found myself looking at the time asking them to wrap everything up quickly.

But for the rest of it, director James Wan made soooooo many beautiful shots! I might have drooled. This makes up for years of dark and depressing DC films. And fight choreography you can see FTW!!

"But Deeesher, how does it compare to other super hero movies???"

First, as you know, in recent years, there has been so many super hero movies, it becomes difficult to rank them. However, nerds will still find a way to do it. Marvel has raised the bar so high, it's not easy to reach that tier, but in some ways, I think this was a success. I enjoyed Aquaman, and I'm eager for a sequel, but I still think there are some suits in DC/WB that don't quite get it. 

For DC movies, Aquaman and Wonder Woman are both good in some ways, and not so good in other ways. But still this is the best DC has to offer in live action. Although, I stand behind my love of DC/CW season 1 and 2 of The Flash, and their crossovers are EPIC! Those should be theatrically released! *hint hint WB*

In comparison to Marvel movies, I would say Aquaman is better than:
Iron Man 3
Thor 1
and... (dare I say?) Doctor Strange and Spider-man Homecoming 
*ducks*

And by the way...

SOMEWHERE in the Atlantic...?  Shouldn't they be more PACIFIC???
LOLOLOLOLOL

*DISCLAIMER: Yes I wrote this review just so I could use that joke. I will also look for an opportunity to post it again on social media somewhere in the future.

My apologies,
Deeesher

Venom Review

Venom first appeared on another planet, when all the Marvel heroes and villains were gathered together to fight, in the twelve issue mini-series called Secret Wars (1984). 

At the time, it was just known as the 'black costume' that Spider-man discovered after ripping his regular Spidey-tights. It all seemed harmless enough, although there was the usual fan outcry hating the new look. When the limited series ended, and Spidey returned home, the plot thickened, as the costume seemed to slowly take over. Eventually, it bonded itself to Peter, and it really didn't want to let go. When he finally was able to literally pry it from his body, the alien blob slinked away only to find reporter Eddie Brock. The alien symbiote bonded with him, and called itself Venom... Marvel fanboys around the world squee'd with excitement. 

In 2007, super genius film director Sam Raimi was forced to include Venom in Spider-man 3. Yes, forced by Sony due to the popularity of the character. He really didn't want to do it... and it shows. The results were some of the most cringe-worthy moments in any comic book movie ever made. 

And now, in 2018, Sony releases a stand-alone Venom movie. Did they learn from their mistakes?

To clarify, while this movie is based on a Marvel comic book, it is NOT part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe of movies. Those movies are released through Disney. Venom is owned by Sony. So, there is zero connection between Venom and Thanos, or Avengers, or Captain America, or Iron Man, or Thor, or Ant-man, etc. It all has to do with copyrights that are equal parts confusing, and frustrating.

The popular opinion is to hate this movie, because how can you have Venom without Spider-man? So without the convoluted Secret Wars origin story, they simply went with the 'alien-life-form-brought-back-from-space' story, which was... acceptable. The 2007 movie used the same idea, as well as the original animated series, so it works based on that simple premise. 

I can't say I hated the movie, but there was still plenty to dislike. The most painful being the horrendous computer effects. To put it into perspective, The Abyss was one of the first movies to ever use CGI in 1989. There was a scene where they created a moving blob of water that looked pretty realistic. Thirty years ago, that scene looked far more realistic than any of the scenes with Venom. Did they not have a budget for the most important aspect of this movie, or did they just not care?

I'm also not a fan of Tom Hardy, who plays Eddie Brock. I don't see any charisma or personality in him whatsoever. You could replace him with a paper sack, and I would be as equally entertained. Although, in the 2007 version, we had Topher Grace, so... upgrade? 

I did however enjoy some of the banter between Brock and Venom. I might have even lol'd just a bit. Plus, if you overlook how bad the effects are, there are some good action moments... when the lens flare and smoke wasn't completely overpowering the scene.

When you compare Venom with the 2004 Halle Berry Catwoman movie, and the 2015 Fantastic Four reboot... it's not that bad! 

(Yes, you can use this quote for promotional purposes if you 'd like). 

If you're interested in seeing this, just lower your expectations, expect some bad effects and a few 'questionable' writing decisions, and you might like it. And if not, it's only ninety minutes long, so you won't lose too much time out of your life.

Deeesher

Batman Ninja Review

So... There is a lot to respect about the animation in Batman Ninja. They obviously put a lot of work into this, and I appreciate it.

But for the rest... There is not enough facepalms or eyerolls in the world to express my feelings. Someone drank a LOT of sake making this movie.

I had originally thought this was going to be a story of "What If Batman lived in Feudal Japan". It's not. It's time travel.

Okay, I'll mildly accept time travelling Batman heroes and villains. But after that...? I think there are ways it could have worked, but not like this.

You have to REALLY love Japanese anime. I mean REEEEALLY love it, to the point where you aren't worried about common sense story telling.

Ugh...
Deeesher

Professor Marston & The Wonder Women Review

How much do you know about the creator of Wonder Woman?

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women is truly an amazing biopic about his very unique life. Officially, I read that the Marston family rejected this movie, but nobody really knows all the details of his personal life.

What is known, is that the character of Wonder Woman is based on Marston's wife, their life partner, and their fascination with BDSM. Definitely an interesting psychological study of people during a time when many things we accept today, were considered a perversion.

I really hope this is more accurate retelling than the family said, because it's a beautiful story.

Deeesher