Crisis of Faith

Despite the title, this is not a religious rant.  This is about writing, which could also be considered a religion.  Specifically, it seems recently I'm filled with more insecurities and self-doubt than normal.

Some time ago, I wrote how important my writing is in helping me feel better about myself (here).  But am I writing for me, or is this all for you?  I do have a lot to say, and I want to get it out of my tiny brain, because there isn't much room.  But I also hate repeating myself when someone asks my opinion.  And I am eager for everyone to be entertained by my silly insights.  So maybe my writing is for both of us.

But am I "successful"?  And what constitutes success in writing?  Is it how many likes I get on facebook?  Or how many books I've sold?  How often people refer to my writing as a good resource?  How many followers I have in Russia?  I am most definitely unsuccessful if that's how you measure things today.  Although I have had over 600 people in Russia read my blogs, so to you, I say, здравствуйте, and спасибо.

I sincerely doubt I'll ever get rich writing (or make any money whatsoever), but occasionally I'll be proud of something I wrote.  And of course, I want my friends to enjoy what I say.  So maybe that's how I measure my own success.

But what if my friends don't care?  Or what if I am ridiculed for my opinions?  Or what if my writing was unclear, and I have to try to explain myself, or defend my views?  Then I'm filled with regret, and think maybe I should have just kept my big mouth shut... or my fat fingers still.  It starts to feel like I'm back at the nerdy table in school hoping the jocks ignore me during lunch... back when being nerdy wasn't so popular.

I can't expect everyone to agree with me, and that's never the point.  I just want to be "entertaining " and clear with my words, and I'm always open for discussion.  But why bother if I'm ignored, or told nobody cares what I think, or my views are constantly ridiculed, (all of which I've heard from others in the last few months).  Often, I think I should just keep my opinions to myself, because everyone has them, and who am I to try to express my views on anything.  Some of my friends have made it very clear, nobody really cares what I have to say on any given subject.

And sure, I can take a joke!  I often poke fun at myself, and sometimes people 'bashing' me in creative ways makes me smile, because sometimes it is genuinely funny.  So conversely, maybe I should just lighten up.  Maybe I take things too seriously, and I'm too insecure for my own good, (I can already hear a collective "yes!" from some friends).  After all, this is 'Merica, and we often poke fun at our friends for fun!  So of course, it's possible that I'm just too old fashioned and expect others to support and encourage each other in their efforts.  On a related note, I've heard the number one defense of a bully is to say, "I was only joking".  Personally, I could never do that.  It's just not in me to squash someone's talents, and maybe I'm just not a very good poker.  I might roll my eyes at their opinion or maybe give (hopefully) constructive criticism, but I couldn't mock anything they do, and I couldn't accuse my friends of shamelessly plugging their work, because self promotion is never so easy to do... unless you're a painfully arrogant ass.  

So maybe I should just become arrogant and that would solve all my problems.  Unfortunately, I've always been insecure and question everything I do.  I'll re-read things I wrote two years ago, not for arrogance, but looking for mistakes.  I always think, maybe there is a better way for me to express my thoughts.  So from time to time, I'll re-arrange a sentence, or delete an unnecessary word (looking for changes in previous posts is a fun game you can play at home!).  But my thoughts don't change. 

I should also add, I do have some people that genuinely enjoy reading what I write.  I am both amazed and grateful to all of you.  And every now and then, I'll find one of my posts on another site somewhere, which seems weird and cool (remember how I said I'm not making any money at this... so I'm not too concerned).

And I'm not posting this because I'm seeking any kind of sympathy.  Maybe like with previous posts I've written, I'll never know the right answer (the write answer?).  As I said, I do have a lot of things inside me, and sometimes speaking doesn't always happen so well, so I'm again writing my thoughts on a topic that bothers me.  And maybe some of you creative types have experienced the same frustrations in your work.  So do we just give up?  Maybe not...

I should just keep a private journal, and when I'm long gone, future civilizations can find it and read my words and figure out how to make a better version of me.

Deeesher

Star Wars The Force Awakens Trailer Insanity

Am I really writing a post about a movie trailer???  Yes, it seems I am, and sadly, it seems I'm not the only one.  I write when I have something to say and I'm tired of repeating myself.  And I most definitely have something to say about this.

For over a month now, people have been eagerly anticipating the release of this trailer.  And after all the hype and repeatedly being rickrolled, and forced (no pun intended) to watch some nice (and some not so nice) fan trailers, here is the moment you've all been waiting for:


Looks kind of cool, right?  Of course it looks cool!  It's a Star Wars trailer!  Nothing about that should ever suck!

Now, let's put things in perspective.

Good or bad, people love Star Wars.  It has embedded itself so deeply into our culture and we all feel it is an invaluable part of our lives.  We want it to be fun, and expect great things, but often we are disappointed.  We all have this collective vision of what Star Wars should be.  And on some rare occasions, we get our wish.

But seriously, movie trailers are designed to be freakin' awesome!!  Have you ever watched a trailer that sucked?  I doubt any director is going to create a teaser with the worst parts of their movie to showcase.  And how often have you eagerly anticipated a movie based on an amazing trailer, and the movie was the biggest waste of time and money ever made?  So this teaser truly is a teaser.  It shows you one minute of footage from a movie that will most likely have 120 minutes total running time.  It's like hearing one note from a song and making the blind assumption that it will be the worlds greatest song ever.  It doesn't say much of anything really.

And now, let's explore the dark side...  J.J. Abrams.

A while back, I wrote this whole rant (here) on how I dislike Christopher Nolan's style of directing and can't understand his success.  I should write a similar rant on Abrams.  Maybe I sort of did here when I complained about him ruling two equally important nerd universes.

Abrams has admitted himself, he uses too much lens flare.  It's his signature style.  He's also proven he loves his shaky cam during fight sequences, preventing us from actually seeing any of the action.  And he's shown he prefers dark drab lifeless colors in his movies, (as he took every chance he could to get the Star Trek cast out of their traditional red, blue, and yellow uniforms), filming dull dark colorless scenes.  Will he suddenly change his methods for the Star Wars franchise?  I can't imagine he will, but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

It's also important to note, there is a huge difference between a director and a screenplay.  Alfred Hitchcock said "To make a great film you need three things - the script, the script and the script".  It's the directors job to film the story, and as long as the director has half a brain, and isn't trying to be too artsy, they usually can't screw that up.  But for a movie to be memorable, I look for something more.  A film should be like a moving painting for my eyes.  I'm not expecting EVERY shot to be a work of art, but I look for something visually entertaining.  

And in the interest of credit where credit is due... Abrams proved from Star Trek that he knows how to film ships in space.  He made that cool, and by showing X-Wing fighters, and of course, the Millennium Falcon here, he definitely proved he can still do that (so far).

So for me, this trailer only showed the movie is still being made and will be released next December 2015 (which I already knew).  If it's a good script, and Abrams lets me see the action, without any lens flare and shows me a decent color palette, it could be a good movie.  I can't be as 'pee my pants excited' as many people are, because Abrams is still the director, because I don't think he's that good.  But I will admit to being apprehensively curious.  I sincerely hope I can enjoy it, otherwise The Force Awakens might as well go back to bed (I doubt I'll be the first or last person to use this phrase).

Deeesher

Doctor Who - Now With More Peter Capaldi

At some point in the next month or two, someone will say to me, "Hey Deesher, what do you think of the new Doctor?".  At which point, I could try to rant about my feelings, only to have someone interrupting me with their own running commentary as I speak, followed by me forgetting my train of thought because my train never runs on a schedule and makes way too many stops.  Or, I could just write a quicky blog and just give you the link to read... or at the very least, I could memorize everything here and repeat it verbatim. 

To be clear, when I say 'New Doctor', I am not talking about my new personal physician (although for the record, he does seem good and fairly competent, which is a wonderful change from my last doctor before he regenerated.  And by regenerated, I mean I looked through the list of other doctors available in my area who will take my insurance).  No, I am talking about the longest running series on television, Doctor Who, and the first appearance of Peter Capaldi as the newly regenerated Doctor.

Doctor Who began in 1963, and for the most part, kept a certain continuity since it began.  There have been some great episodes, and some not so great episodes over the years.  I have a lot of respect for the wonderful original sci-fi elements and some powerful acting contained in many episodes.  I wrote a whole thingy on how much I love this show, and you can read all about it here.

Last December 2013, we said farewell to Matt Smith's Doctor when he regenerated at the end of the episode The Time of the Doctor, (is that still considered a spoiler at this point?).  And after what felt like an overly extended hiatus, we finally get to see Peter Capaldi as the Doctor, in the first episode of the new season, Deep Breath.

So, the first thing you might notice... he's old.  For the record, I have no problem with an older Doctor, but after his appearance continued to get younger and more energetic in the last few Doctors, it does feel like there is a certain amount of grinding to a halt.  And for the record part deux, of course there have been older Doctors in the history of the show, starting with William Hartnell who was the very first Doctor in 1963.  But it is most definitely a different sort of dynamic having someone in their late 50's playing the lead in any series.

During the course of Deep Breath, The Doctor asked himself, why he would be older.  It seemed a big concern and it's possible there is a deeper purpose yet to be determined.  It also seems to indicate that his body knows more about his future than his mind.  Or maybe it was writer Steven Moffat making notes on the corner of the script that Capaldi read during filming, not knowing they were only notations. 

Whatever the reason for his older appearance, it seems our lovable goofy style of Doctor is gone for now, replaced by someone who is much more serious and dark.  The show still had moments of humor, but the overall tone of the new Doctor seems like he isn't here to sonic screw around much.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, however traditionally, the more successful Doctors have been more fun to watch, (i.e. Tom Baker and my fav, David Tennant). 

Of course my initial feelings could be completely wrong, because he is still finding his place in the Who-niverse.  And, as with every regeneration, it takes a while for each Doctor to find their specific niche. 

The episode itself, (Deep Breath) was a good solid Steven Moffat written kick-off for the new season.  There was nothing that really overly wowed me, but it was a decent premiere after waiting... 8 PAINFUL MONTHS!!  We got to see the team of Madame Vastra, Jenny and Strax, and I always love them.  I'm seriously very eager to see them in a spin-off series, but for now, it's fun to watch them do their thing with the Doctor... whoever he may be.

As an actor, Peter Capaldi was good and he'll definitely add something new to a long line of unique versions of the Doctor.  So of course I'll keep watching, because the BBC and Steven Moffat know how to write a decent sci-fi series.  But I do feel like we are in for a more serious version of the Doctor.  Which is too bad, because I love to laugh too.

And for now at least, we still have the sweet sexy Clara (Jenna Coleman) to help ease us through this transition period.

Deeesher

Oculus Review

Mirror mirror on the... no, I'm not doing that for sooooo many reasons, even though I'm reviewing a movie about a haunted mirror.   Horror films are one area that Disney has not taken over... yet. 

Oculus was released in 2014, and many were eager to see it in the theater.  I don't normally watch horror movies in the theater, because there is too much room for failure in horror, and because the last thing I need is giggly 14 year old girls suddenly screaming directly through my skull.

So now that it's released on video, was it any good?

To answer your first question, according to dictionaries, the definition of oculus is:

oc·u·lus - ˈäkyələs.   

noun: oculus; plural noun: oculi 

1. a round or eyelike opening or design, in particular.
2. a circular window.
3. the central boss of a volute

And, no I am not looking up volute for you.  And secondly, I have no idea what this has to do with a haunted mirror.  Maybe you can watch the movie and educate me?  

The story is about happy family moving into a new house, until suddenly their parents seem to go batshit insane (in medical terminology).  And, as in most cases of insanity, it's obviously the mirror's fault.  Eleven years later, the kids are all growed up (adult versions played by Brenton Thwaites and yummy ex-Doctor Who companion/Nebula, Karen Gillan) and they want to study and hopefully destroy the mirror. 

Okay kids, blaming the mirror seems a very sudden huuuuuge leap of faith.  I'm not saying the mirror is completely innocent, and there is a great moment where we discover the history of deaths surrounding the mirror.  But, other than the father standing in front of it, there seems to be zero evidence to convict this old mirror.  So, is the mirror really evil, or just misunderstood? 

Other than wrapping my tiny brain around that, it was enjoyable.  In terms of a horror movie, I didn't find it scary, and there are many predictable jumps, but it was still fun to watch.  Director Mike Flanagan really helped make this interesting psychologically as the mirror (allegedly) plays tricks on them.  I can see this as the beginning of an interesting franchise, but unfortunately I think another director might just make it into a silly goof horror film, instead of giving you something to think about.  

Most people don't want to think so hard when watching a horror film, so maybe that's why it wasn't so successful.  But I do think it has a future because it is an interesting concept.  

If nothing else, even without an accent... it's still Karen Gillan....

Deeesher

Guardians of the Galaxy Review

The year was 1968.  The first ATM machine was installed in the US, the first Big Mac was sold, and 911 was invented (all totally unrelated... probably). And Marvel Comics, who had only recently brought you The Incredible Hulk, Spider-man, Fantastic Four and X-Men, decided to create a sci-fi story set in the year 3007.  It revolved around a group of unusual heroes from different planets, gathering together to battle the evil race of lizard creatures who had taken over their home worlds.  It was called, Guardians of the Galaxy!

And it has very little to do with the 2014 Marvel movie release of the same name!

I know what you're saying, "WTF, Deeesher?!?"  First, watch your language.  And second, Marvel created a huge universe of characters, and sometimes over the years... things change.  The movie is more closely related to the 2008 Marvel comic, called Guardians of the Galaxy (vol. 2).

If you're into "reading", like some of the kids do today, this book really is a lot of fun, with great unique characters and interesting storylines.  And in the tradition of Marvel comic book movies, (not to be confused with Sony, Fox, OR especially Warner Bros. comic book movies), they nailed it again! 

Imagine being eight years old, and your life on modern day planet earth sucks.  Then suddenly aliens kidnap you, take you to space, and you get to grow up and essentially become Han Solo.  You get to fly around in spaceships, meet strange aliens and visit different planets.  That's the life of Peter Quill, aka Star-Lord.  Cast perfectly by the actor who was born to play him, Chris Pratt.

Not enough fun for you?  I could go on about how awesome and unique the entire cast of characters are, but I would just be rambling (more than I normally do).  Maybe I should talk about what a great sense of humor the movie has, but still knows when to be serious.  Maybe I should say something about how solid the story is, and how well it connects with everything else in the Marvel universe, both movies and comics.  And yes, it does have connections to other Marvel movies as well as hidden easter eggs from the comics and movies that I am eager to freeze frame.  And to be clear, some things are a bit different from the comic, but I have always said, if you are going to change something from the source material, make it a good change... and it is.

I could also talk about what a great job director James Gunn did, creating a beautiful galaxy you want to explore and live in.  I could say things about how the action scenes are well shot and you can see what's happening *gasp*!

If I wanted to say anything bad about this movie, I don't think I could.  BUT... if I want to be nitpicky, as beautifully as it was created, there were no visually over the top moments.  For example, in a movie like Avengers, we have a few great scenes that Joss Whedon created that felt epic.  James Gunn did a fantastic job, and Knowhere, for example, looked amazing!  But... I don't know.  Maybe I should just shut up now.

Many people have compared this movie to the feelings they had seeing the original Star Wars: A New Hope.  I can easily agree with this comparison, especially since I don't see JJ Abrams doing anything with that franchise to impress me!  This is the type of movie that can be made when they have respect for the fans and source material.  So please, promote good things, (since it seems too rare these days), and go see Guardians of the Galaxy!

Then we can have conversations about who is hotter, Gamora (Zoe Saldana) or  Nebula (Karen Gillan)

Deeesher

Pacific Rim Review

I don't always see movies in the theater.  I've been emotionally scarred too many times, plus I am paranoid and skeptical.  So I try to choose theatrical movies carefully, because I never want to give money to support something that sucks.  Of course there are no guarantees and my opinions are sometimes slightly askew of friends and critics.  So whether good or bad, my life is still often times filled with regret.

One such movie I did not see in the theater, was Guillermo del Toro's 2013 giant monster movie, Pacific Rim... but should I have?

Have you ever been a fan of Godzilla movies, or King Kong where ginormous monsters destroy your favorite major city... mostly  Tokyo or New York?  Have you ever been a fan of Gundam/Voltron/Transformers/giant mech suits?  Well, Guillermo apparently was, and he made this movie for fans of that genre.  I never have been, so I was not one of those eagerly leaping into the theater.  Sorry!  My nerdly tastes are more about spaceships, aliens, time travel or freakin' laser beams. 

Having said that, I can honestly say, Guillermo made a really fun movie!  I sort of wish I had seen this in the theater, because I think it's important we promote quality programming so maybe Hollowood would stop making so much crap (that is not a typo, as there are plenty of soulless hollow beings making our movies today).

The plot is not overly complicated, which is fine.  It just needed to tell the story, and be better written than most other crap in theaters today (i.e. every Transformers movie or anything written by David S. Goyer).  Pacific Rim drifts from being fun and silly, to unnecessarily sappy at times.  But don't worry too much about the sappy parts.  It isn't enough to take away from the ass kicking parts. 

The best thing this movie has going for it, is Guillermo del Toro.  This man knows how to make a good movie!  The action moves along nicely, with fight choreography you can see *gasp* what a concept! The creatures (aka Kaiju) and giant mech (aka Jaeger) were all unique and interesting enough, that merchandising alone should promote this movie for many years to come.

The acting by our likeable hero (Charlie Hunnam) was decent enough.  And you know I like Asian girls as much as the next American guy, but I felt the female lead, (played by Rinko Kikuchi) was just okay.  Maybe it was her hair that bothered me... but of course now I am being nitpicky.  

And all hail Charlie Day for playing the great nerdy scientist!  I was concerned that he would take me out of the movie and suddenly remind me that It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  But somehow, he made it work!  His scientist partner (played by Burn Gorman) helped make them a fun team to watch. 

I was also concerned the computer AI, voiced by Ellen McLain would remind me too much of GlaDOS from the extra awesome game Portal.  But with everything happening around those scenes, it was easy to think of her as a giant mech AI and not the type of AI eager to offer you cake, or kill you.

So if this is a genre you love, then shut off your brain for a couple hours and enjoy.  And maybe this time I should have listened to my friends and seen it in theaters.  ...HA!

Deeesher

300 Rise of an Empire Review

I love pretty movies.  To me, one of the most important aspects about a movie is, it should be visually artistic.  If a movie doesn't look good, I might as well read a book... and who has time for that??  (But seriously kids, read a book!  You won't regret it!).  Unfortunately, these days, most movies (and television shows) are more eager to look gritty and dark with all their bland muted colors and shaky cameras.  They try to justify it saying things look more 'realistic'.  Well, my life is filled with the big box of 64 crayons, not just the dark 8 pack many directors use today *COUGH*christophernolan*COUGH* 

So you can imagine my excitement seeing the 2006 movie 300, staring Gerard Butler and directed by Zack Snyder.  I wrote an awesome review (that I will re-post one day) saying how visually amazing it was for me, with all the pretty colors and airbrush looking art style.  Filled with great characters, and an interesting story, it is still one of my top ten favorite movies of all time for many reasons.

And now in 2014, we finally get a sequel, with a mostly different cast and different director.  So how does 300: Rise of an Empire compare to the original?

300 was a graphic novel by Frank Miller, released in 1998, creatively based on real events that took place a long time ago in a country far, far away (well, far away from where I live anyway).  Shortly after the success of the first movie, Frank began writing a sequel entitled Xerxes.  Seven years later, he still hasn't completed it.  However, they released the movie based on that unfinished story anyway.  Take a moment and let your brain wrap around that.

For the sequel, we spend our time with the Greeks (although for the record, I don't think there were 300 of them), as their events run parallel to everything that was happening in the first movie (think Back to the Future 2, although not as covert... or silly).  Their leader, Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) has a particularly freaky relationship with Xerxes second-in-command, Artemisia (Eva Green).  We also get a few moments here and there with great characters from the first movie, Xerxes (still ultra cool Rodrigo Santoro), Queen Gorgo (yes Lena Headey just as awesome as she always is, from Game of Thrones), and even Ephialtes (hunching better than ever by Andrew Tiernan)... but we don't see nearly enough of any of them.

Most of this movie took place at sea, and maybe that's why it felt... watered down (sorry, I couldn't resist).  None of the characters or visuals were quite as interesting as they were in the original movie.  And every time the Greeks cheered, it really made me miss the Spartan "AH-HOO!  AH-HOO!".  We do get moments of pretty airbrushing visuals, but overall, nothing stood out quite as much as the original.  Even Queen Gorgo, who looked beautiful and regal from the first movie, looks a bit harsh here.  It was like director Noam Murro saw the original, and jumped up and down and said, "I can do that too!".  No... no Noam, you really can't.  Now go to your room.

In all fairness, I shouldn't be too harsh to this movie.  It's not bad... it's just drawn that way.  If the original 300 was never made, Rise of an Empire would be a decent movie on it's own.  But if you have to watch a movie with lots of shirtless men with rock hard abs, grunting and sweating, the original Spartan story is still much more arousing... err, I mean exciting to watch.

Speaking of shirtless, maybe it would have helped a bit more if they showed an Oracle or two... or three.

Deeesher