Another Spiderman Movie

%@&#! reboots. I hate them. I throw up in my mouth a bit every time I hear the word. Sure there are occasional happy surprises like the 1978 reboot of 1956's Invasion of the Body Snatchers, or 2009's Friday the 13th, or the 1982 remake of the 1951 movie The Thing (and yes I am ignoring the 2011 reboot here). Even the Fright Night reboot was kind of okay. But sadly, 98% of the time, reboots are only a painful reminder of how stupid most movies of the 21st century are.

But wait... What if you reboot a successful movie franchise that started in the 21st century??? What an amazingly moronic idea! With that, Sony Pictures presents: The Amazing Spider-man! Not to be confused with Spider-man 2002.

Do I really need to tell anyone what this movie is about? It's another origin story. I'm pretty sure everyone in America from 8 to 80 could write an origin story for Spider-man. Radioactive spider bites friendly neighborhood nerd... Do the math. Then add Gwen Stacy and The Lizard.

As much as I loved the 2002 version, this 'reboot' wasn't bad. Sure it had it's flaws, and I would never call it 'Amazing', but it was one more decent superhero movie from a growing list of other enjoyable superhero movies.

Director Marc Webb, does a decent job, but I'll always wonder if he got the job because of his name. You might remember him from one of his other action movies like... um... Well okay, he had a romantic comedy (500 Days of Summer), that I heard was fairly successful. At times his action was the typical quick edits, and close-ups so you couldn't quite see what was going on, but not often enough to annoy. He does deserve a pat on the head for his efforts, but he's no Sam Raimi.

Now let's compare our Peters. Tobey Maguire (2002 Peter) vs Andrew Garfield (2012 Peter). This was a surprisingly close race in my mind. I've always liked Tobey's Peter, but I have to admit, I quickly accepted Garfield's Peter without a second thought. There were moments where I felt Garfield was a bit too cocky, but in the end, he fit nicely.

I was also quick to accept Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben. I was worried I would only see The Illusive Man from Mass Effect, but he was just as good for Peter as Cliff Robertson was in 2002.

Now let's talk about the not-so-amazing parts.

I love Emma Stone. I wouldn't say I'm stalker material yet, but I did consider it after seeing her in Zombieland. However, I couldn't see her as Gwen Stacy, 17 year old high school genius with an internship in a huge high tech facility who has access to every room in the building. But then, what do I know about 17 year old girls these days.

I also thought Doc Connors (aka The Lizard, aka actor Rhys Ifans) was a bit one dimensional. And as impressive as they made The Lizard, they should have made a bit more effort on his face. Is a lizard snout so difficult to animate???

Then we have Sally Field as Aunt May. This worked if you forget everything you know about Aunt May. But I think at this point in her career, Sally Field will always be Sally Field in anything she does. And Denis Leary was a fine Captain Stacy but nothing 'amazing' here either.

The biggest problem this movie suffers from, is retelling another origin story. We know where he came from! You told us a few years ago, and we remember cause you did it right!  If you forget everything you know about Spider-man from comics, or the 2002 version, it's not a bad story.  The things it did well were done very well, but Amazing Spider-man will never be Amazing like The Avengers, or Iron Man, or even 1978 Superman. I give it a pretty good, but I wonder how well tickets to The Pretty Good Spider-man would sell.

Now let's compare it to Electric Company Spider-man, Nicholas Hammond 1977 Spider-man, and of course, Japanese Spider-man!

Deeesher

Something From Me

When I close my eyes

I dream the things  that no one seems to care

When I ask them why they all say

In these times life's just not that fair

Can't they see the way things are

Nothing is for free

But I'm their key and all they want

Is something new from me

I do their work quick as I can

Then there's ten more that wait

Or am I a jerk who just can't learn

And favors are my fate

I try to impress but I do too much

And no one ever does see

Doing my best is all that they need

And all they want is something from me

Do I have a friend I wonder

Is it all an act?

When will it end and what will it take

Before they stab my back

When can I say I need some help

If you could please

Maybe one day they'll tell me they care

And not just want something from me

Prometheus

I'd like to thank you all for coming here today. I know this has been a difficult and confusing experience for many of you, and I realize you have a lot of questions. Fortunately, I'm used to people questioning me, so I will try to handle this as smoothly as possible so we can all get home before dinner.

According to Greek mythology, Prometheus was a Titan, (not a god... perhaps if he applied himself more) who got himself banished to Hades for bringing fire to man. If you should want to visit him, he should still be there where he suffers every day by having his liver eaten out by a bird for his crime... And you thought angry birds only hated pigs.

Prometheus the movie, has nothing to do with any of that.

Do you remember in 1979, when Alien was released, which was a simple monster story in space starring Sigourney Weaver in her underwear? Well Prometheus doesn't have much to do with that either.

So what is Prometheus about?

It appears to be about a bunch of scientists who discover a sort of ancient map to the stars. After leaving most of their common sense at home, they travel millions of light years on the spaceship Prometheus, to visit a planet that is NOT the same planet from the original Alien.

Do you remember the Space Jockey sitting in the big chair with his chest burst open from the original Alien movie? He may (or may not) be in it. Do you remember the crashed ship from Alien? It may (or may not) be in it.

Maybe only Damon Lindelof knows what all this is really about. To me, Damon will always be one of the writers for the TV series Lost. Lost was one of those shows we watched regularly cause everyone said it was cool, even though none of us really understood it. Maybe Damon should have stayed on the island. Okay, maybe he can share a bamboo hut with Prometheus co-writer Jon Spaihts.

However, for as much damage as Damon may (or may not) have caused this movie, Ridley Scott picks up the slack in the most awesome way! It's all sooooo pretty! There is a reason the first Alien and Blade Runner are still popular today. Director Ridley Scott. Visually it is well worth the price of admission and made me want to frame some scenes and display them proudly in my living room above my Alien action figures. Also huge thumbs up to a very creepy surgery scene! And by the way, did anyone else have flashbacks of driving the Mako from Mass Effect ?

We also get some decent characters with equally decent acting. The best of which, is David, (Michael Fassbender). He's the creepy android (or do the kids still call them Synthetics these days?). Charlize Theron was also worth watching as Vickers and convinced us all she had a stick buried rectally. I also enjoyed Noomi Rapace as the eager curious and stupid scientist, Elizabeth Shaw. And why was Guy Pearce playing Peter Weyland, in the worst old man makeup ever??? Were there no older actors available???

It's not that I didn't like this movie. I enjoyed it. But with such a confusing story, and so many moronic decisions from supposedly 'smart' people, it's difficult to say Prometheus was awesome. The internet tells me there may (or may not) be a sequel planned that should tie all these confusing bits together very nicely. Although, we all know how the internet tends to lie to us sometimes.

Anyway... Did I mention we get to see Charlize Theron in her underwear?

In space, no one can hear you drool...

Deeesher

Avengers Review

Dear Joss Whedon, I hate you.  Sure our relationship has had its ups and downs, (ups being things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer the TV series, Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, and most recently Cabin in the Woods.  Downs being things like Dollhouse and Alien: Resurrection ).  But this is the last straw.  You humiliated me in front of my friends by proving me wro...  not entirely correct.

We've known about The Avengers movie for a few years now, and I've said repeatedly, it can't be done!  How can anyone successfully combine several major superheroes from Marvel comics, and create a grown-up movie, with a decent plot, plenty of action, and still devote a fair amount of time to each character?

The Ultra Nerds among us have followed the setup of each hero, from their individual origin movies released in recent years.  From Captain America (with Chris Evans, and my review here), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr, in Iron Man 1 and 2, with a review for 2 here), and even The Incredible Hulk, (the 2008 Hulk starring Edward Norton, not the Ang Lee directed 2003 version.  I have decided to disavow the 2003 version for many reasons).  Each character was fully developed in their solo movie, and all was  nicely tied together through teasers featuring Nick Fury (played by the baddest M*F* to ever wear an eye patch, Samuel L. Jackson), and/or Agent Coulson (awesomely played each time by Clark Gregg)... and in the case of Iron Man, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) *insert yummy sounds here*.
 
And now, you bring them all together to battle Loki, (Tom Hiddleston), aka Thor's brother.  Loki wants to enslave mankind because... well, because he can.  And if anyone wears a helmet with horns that big, I say you can do pretty much anything you want at that point.

I have said the only way this could work, is in a TV series.  I've said the plot will suffer.  I've said one hero will be the focus, and everyone else will be secondary.  Joss, I hate you, because somehow... you made it all work.

The characters were equally balanced and nobody was a main focus.  The story was simple enough but well written enough to work.  And your directing...  I could see the action clearly, and many scenes could have been taken out of the movie and made into a beautiful painting, suitable for framing your favorite hero and sold for way too much money at any Comic-con.  I regularly found myself grinning like a nerd discovering a box of golden age comics in mint condition in a forgotten box in his attic.  Why would you do this to me???

Well, before you start thinking you're perfect, I did find a few minor flaws, (and I use the word 'flaws' very loosely here).  Banner/Hulk (this time played by Mark Ruffalo) has always been a personal favorite of mine, so the super-nerd in me wants to protect his story and keep it safely sealed in a Mylar Bag with a board behind it.  His origin story and Hulk's behavior felt a bit conveniently written as if hoping nobody would notice.  It all seemed a bit shady to me.  And Mark Ruffalo himself mostly worked well, but at times he looked more like Reed Richards with that bit of grey in his hair.  And remember how impressive Hulk looked in his own movie?  Your version felt a bit too CGI in places.

I would also have liked to have learned a bit more about Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and Black Widow (did I mention yummy?), since they didn't get an origin movie.  But with a running time of 142 minutes, I can understand why many details were maybe edited out.  I imagine many things will be restored in the Blu-ray release.  Might I also suggest including several slow motion scenes of Black Widow getting in and out of her outfit?

But otherwise, you did it right, and this is truly a nerd fantasy come to life...  And I hate you for proving me wro... whatever.
Sincerely,
Deeesher

Now that I have that out of the way...

Dear Scarlett Johanson, I love you...

Boldly Going Where No Blog Should Go

This may come as a shock to some of you… but I’m a bit of a nerd. While I try to maintain a certain amount of coolness, at the end of the day, I’m just a big dweeb.

I try to balance my dork-dom with a bit of cool, by having a cool job, (well, its SUPPOSED to be cool anyway…), and by having varied musical tastes ranging from cool artists like Coldplay, Green Day, Beatles, Stone Temple Pilots and Neil Young; (well, some people say they're cool), to the not so cool, like… well, that’s kind of why I brought you all here today.

How would everyone feel if I say the name… William Shatner?

Yea, that’s kind of what I thought.

William Shatner is known for having a very ‘set-phasers-on-cringe’ musical styling. He is most commonly known for butchering Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, which is accepted as one of the worst cover songs of all time. George Clooney has said he would bring this song with him if he was stranded on a deserted island because, “…If you listen to [this song], you will hollow out your own leg and make a canoe out of it to get off this island.” Ironically, I felt the same way about watching your Batman & Robin, George.

Check out Shatner’s classic rendition of Elton John’s Rocket Man.

In the end, I respect this because it’s so bad… it’s good. Say what you want, but I do enjoy cheesy cover songs. I loved his versions of songs on the MTV movie awards years ago, and I enjoy the over-acting goodness of his Priceline commercials too.

So, when I accidently came across his 2004 song, Common People, I loved it! It was fun, and pop-rocky and really made you want to build a shrine towards all things Shatty. So, I got the entire album it was featured on, called Has Been.

Here’s where things get weird…

I expected big, over-the-top goofy Shatner. But, while listening to him doing a song about a man trying to meet his estranged daughter, and a song about a man striving for success but finding none, and then hearing him do a monologue on finding his wife in the pool after she overdosed on alcohol and valium, I began to realize… this is serious.

But here’s the twist… its good! I mean, NOT in a goofy over-acting sort of way, (although there are a few goofy songs on here), but in a well written, and well performed sort of way.

Not only is Shatner’s dialogue extremely enjoyable and heartfelt, the music is incredibly well produced and performed. Turn’s out there is a reason for this, by the name of Ben Folds, who produced and co-wrote many of the songs with him. It also features, Joe Jackson, who does the vocals on Common People, Aimee Mann, who does vocals on another song, and Henry Rollins on yet another. Isn’t this one of the signs of the apocalypse when Henry Rollins performs with William Shatner???

I don’t think The Shat did an actual video for anything from this album, (surprisingly), but I did find a live version when he performed on Jay Leno. While not quite as good as the CD version, this is still pretty decent.

Joe Jackson & William Shatner - Common People by Pius35

Bill (as close personal friends like me call him), recently released Seeking Major Tom, which didn't impress me as much.  Maybe he needs someone like Ben Folds, who understands him.  Maybe someone like me, (call me, Bill!). 

At this point, I usually make some attempt to summarize and wind this blog up… but I think I’ve said too much already.

DISCLAIMER

The picture on my profile is edited in Photoshop, and NOT me dressing up to go to the conventions.

Id like to say I still have some dignity but... okay, yes I've gone to conventions dressed up.  But NOT as any Star Trek characters!  

...Yet,

Deeesher

Oh Captain My Captain... America

Yay for World War II!!! Wait... That came out very wrong, (although maybe a bit better than saying Yay for Hitler!). But you have to admit, without World War II, we wouldn't have awesome things like Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Werewolf Women of the SS, or Nazi Zombies... or Captain America!

I know what you're saying now, “But Deeesher, how can you say Captain America is awesome when you don't own any of his comic books!” First, what makes you think I collect comic books? Oh... *sigh*. And second, you're right, I have never had any interest in Cap (as his friends call him). In fact, he always seemed like a virus that just wouldn't go away! Every time I turned around, Captain America was making an appearance somewhere. Not really doing anything, just looking... buff. And when I first heard about the movie version, I did some serious eye rolling. You know, it was the same eye rolling I did when I heard about Thor, and Green Lantern, and another re-boot of Spider-man, and The upcoming Avengers movie. I'm all for a good comic book movie but I'm starting to wonder if everyone has run out of original ideas. Wait... don't answer that.

Because I'm not familiar with the original Captain America comic, I'm not entirely sure of his origin, so I have nothing to base the premise of this movie on, beyond what I know. And from what I know, it seemed authentic enough. Most of the movie takes place in 1940's at the height of World War II. And all hail director Joe Johnston who kept everything looking very authentically 1940's, with all it's dull earth tones, and the massive machine's and their giant dials and levers to the innocent sounding dialogue. Nobody said golly gee whiz, but I prepared myself for the possibility.

So we have overly eager but digitally shrunken and wussy-looking Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) trying to be all he can be in the army, when one day a kindly old scientist (Stanley Tucci) takes an interest in him (a story we've heard a million times before). After shooting him up with tons of experimental drugs, he comes out big and buff... sort of like me, (as far as you know), and eager to fight bad guys like Red Skull, (played by Hugo Weaving who made a great Elf, and Agent, and now he makes a great Nazi).

It's a simple plot, with some good action which makes it easy for my tiny brain to digest. And I'm far from patriotic (if you're really brave, read my political views here), but what makes Captain America work, is he is a hero! Sure most every country in the world hates us (with good reason) but I think most any country would be proud to have this man represent them. It just so happens that he has the name America, and not *insert country name here followed by obvious stereotype regarding said country here*. He put it all in perspective at the beginning of the movie, when they asked if he wanted to kill Nazi's. He said, “I don't want to kill anybody. I don't like bullies; I don't care where they're from.” That is a hero I can respect!

I saw Captain America: The First Avenger (the official title... whatever), in 3D (whatever again). I feel the same about 3D as I do all these comic book movies. Sometimes it works, but most times it seems unnecessary. This time, it sometimes worked, but you could save the extra few bucks and see it in two dimensions and your life will be just fine.

It was nice to see a director who knows how to edit a good action scene so you can actually see the action (what a concept!), but there isn't much about the overall style (beyond the bland 40's look) that jumped out and overly impressed me. I also thought, as impressive as the digitally shrunken Chris Evans was, they should have done something with his voice. It just seemed a bit odd hearing this deep manly voice coming from such a tiny body.

There is definitely a lot to enjoy about this movie so go check it out. And finally, if you're hoping for something sexy in your 40's flick, check out these gams...!

Yea, if you're not into staring at Chris Evans overly manly sized body (and why would anyone want to see that???), Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) showing off a bit of leg is as sexy as it gets for you...

Deeesher

Who's Blog

If you are not watching the newest Doctor Who, (which airs everywhere from BBC America, Sci-Fi Channel, and yes, even PBS [???]), then you're IDIOTS!!

I have been watching this show since the revival in 2005 with Christopher Eccleston, and can I just say... wow!

Now, I say 2005, but 'unofficially', this is an ongoing series that started in 1963. Yes, I said 1963! There was a big gaping hole between some seasons, but that didn't stop Guinness Book of World Records from calling this the longest running television series ever, (take that Trekkies/Trekkers or whatever you call yourselves this week).

I confess I never watched it before the 2005 revival. And while I know for some that may be grounds for turning in my nerd-card, but... seriously, look at my profile picture... do I have anything to worry about?

The main reason I never watched it before was because when I saw the occasional 70's episode in the past, it would always be in the middle of some obscure story arc, and I have no idea what's happening, so I just never bothered to watch, beyond the cool intro music.

Fortunately, the BBC in all its genius has chosen to continue this series and for the most part, each episode stands alone, so you don't have to watch every one to know what's going on. Sure, there is an overall story arc that often ties things together, and it would help if you saw this episode, or that one... but its not required viewing thankfully!

All you need to know is that The Doctor is an alien called a Timelord, and he travels around in his time machine called the Tardis, that looks like an old British police call box, (the part that alters the appearance of the Tardis... um... broke, so its stuck in this form). When The Doctor dies, he conveniently regenerates, giving him a new appareance, (which is handy for whenever anyone's contract is up, or they decide they don't want to return for another season).

He is mostly just a curious explorer that bad things tend to happen to. And normally he finds a curious female friend who just happens to be from earth, and happens to be attractive to travel with him to keep him company.

Here in the US, we are starving for decent science fiction. Sadly, all we have is the occasional better than average Star Trek's, or the New Battlestar Galactica... *insert taste of bile here*, and read my views on it here), and fortunately for us, someone at the BBC knows how to write it!

Doctor Who is real science fiction writing, with unique aliens, stories that are waaaaay outside of the box, (umm... no pun intended... police box... get it?), and very engaging characters.

I got hooked on the show watching Christopher Eccleston as the ninth Doctor, and then feel in love (heterosexually... for the most part) with David Tennant as the tenth Doctor, (if anyone's counting), and he was so much fun to watch! He's a bit psychotic, (but in a good fun sorta way), as well as energetic, fun, goofy, and extremely passionate. I can't say enough about what an amazing actor this man is! He has really helped give the extra kick to already fantastic storylines! (I'm just going to go ahead and put an exclaimation mark at the end of every line in this blog now, cause I'm that excited about this show!).

Find this show whenever it airs, record it, watch it, and then send a nasty letter to all the ....US.... networks saying WTF?!?! The ....UK.... has this, while we get a reality show about The Cape, or 16 and Pregnant?!??!! Seriously people!!

Now, lets talk about Martha and Rose!!

mmmmmm....!!!!

Check out the official website here !!!

Sorry this blog isn't longer, but now I'm off to check out the spin-off called Torchwood!!

Oh but wait... this is version 2.0 of this blog!
I've seen all of the first season of Torchwood!!
Its.... okay... I like characters.

But wait again!!!
Matt Smith is the eleventh Doctor and I'm still loving it!!!

But wait one more time!!!
How about seeing a short eight minute 'transition' video that was made before season 4 began?!?!

This short was created for a special on BBC, and pays homage to one of the original Doctors. Peter Davison returns to interact with the new Doctor. Maybe in this short segment you can appreciate how interesting this character is to watch. It is particularly interesting because David Tennant grew up watching Peter Davison as the Doctor, which is why he has the wonderful comment "...you were my Doctor." Enjoy!!