Man of Steel Review

I like to think I know Superman fairly well. One of my very first comics was a Superman comic. And maybe one of my favorite superhero movies of all time is the 1978 Christopher Reeve version of Superman. Followed soon after by the nearly equally awesome Superman II. Followed by the frustratingly painful Superman III, and not forgotten soon enough, the gut wrenchingly horrible Superman IV. But I also at times enjoyed the George Reeves television Superman, (in all it's glorious silliness). And then came Superboy, and Lois and Clark, and the animated versions of Superman, and Smallville seasons 1 through 4 (ignoring the rest), and the meh rated Superman Returns... And the list goes on.

So here we are in 2013, and I learned one of my favorite directors, Zack Snyder, is making his version of Superman, called Man of Steel. What could possibly go wrong???

Well, here we have another origin story. Someone pointed out to me, that Superman (and other Superheros like Spider-man and Batman), need to be more like James Bond. They should give a brief overview of their origin in the first 5 minutes of the opening credits, then we can move on with our lives and focus on the real story. But whatever... we get another origin story. And then Superman fights General Zod.

Did I miss anything? Nope. 143 minutes running time, and that was pretty much everything. Sure, I could discuss the details, but what's the point? Most of those details are lame. Like how Lois Lane seems to have some serious unnatural pull in the military for a newspaper reporter (very similar to one of my complaints about Transformers! Does the military let just anyone give orders now???). Or like how Lois suddenly appears right near Superman, even though he and Zod have been quite literally fighting all over the city, including at one point going to space and landing back in the same city! And I'm still curious, when did the military suddenly decide to negotiate with terrorists before anyone fires a shot??? I guess terrorists can give orders to the military too now, especially if they are alien origin.

Maybe writer David S. Goyer is getting tired? He did write everything from Dollman vs. Demonic Toys in 1993, and more recently Batman Begins, Dark Knight, and Dark Knight Rises. Well, let's be honest, out of all of those movies, maybe I found the least problems with the Dollman vs. Demonic Toys script. Don't you dare tell me for one second how awesome the writing on the Batman trilogy was! We both know, the writing got progressively worse!

I really don't want to blame director Zack Snyder. We were BFF's! I even touched myself thinking about him sometimes! But this time, he really broke my heart.

Let me count the ways:

I have no problem with the planet Krypton being 're-imagined'. However, wouldn't it make more sense if it looked like people lived there? They were a fairly advanced civilization, with ships and lasers and video screens you could buy from Spencers! So why did they live in caves??? Shouldn't there be shops, or art, or maybe a restaurant, or some sort of entertainment center in their homes? Even a pool table would have been nice!

Do I blame Zack or producer Christopher Nolan (director of the recent Batman Trilogy), for the look of things? Having Superman and Zod fighting against gray buildings and gray dirty backgrounds, while they both have very dark colored suits on, makes no sense. I'm far from a fashion critic, but couldn't they at least have made Zod's uniform a bit more black and given Supermans uniform a bit more brighter contrast? I don't mind the battle armor they wore, and I could even sort of accept the new Superman uniform but... I'm confident enough in my manhood to say, it just wasn't fabulous for me *snap snap*

And did anyone else play Mass Effect? Is it just me, or do Zod's ships look a bit familiar?

And sadly, Zack did the worst thing he could have possibly done to me... he shook his camera. Not just once or twice, but all night long! It never stopped! One reason I loved Zack, was because in his past movies (300, Watchmen, Sucker Punch), I could see the action! This time, things were shaking, and too close and too quick edits. My love affair is over, when Zack suddenly became just another *cringe* J.J. Abrams, or Michael Bay. Frustratingly, there were many fights that were impossible to watch. And the fighting takes about half the movie.

But, before you think it's all bad, it's really not. One saving grace, was Henry Cavill. I easily accepted him as Superman. I could go on about his chiseled jaw, or his dreamy blue eyes, or his rock solid chest, or bulging biceps but... you get the idea. He had a very cool Greatest American Hero homage as he was learning to fly, (although I still don't understand the afterburner exhaust). And with every Superman, you get a Lois Lane. This time played by Amy Adams. She got a paycheck, and that's about it. She felt a bit too light and meek to be a real Lois Lane to me. And of course you also get a General Zod. Michael Shannon also got a paycheck for screaming. He was by no means Terence Stamp from the 1978-80 Superman! And at no point, are there any “Kneel before Zod!” moments *sigh*

My personal favorites, were Kevin Costner as Jonathon Kent (who had one of the best moments in this movie, but his overall influence on Clark's life was poorly written), and Antje Traue as bad girl Faora. She was underused but awesome every time. Russell Crowe also made a pretty good Jor-El (but also badly written for the most part).

I really wanted to like this movie, and there were a few good shots. But instead it just made me angry because it had so much potential that was just wasted. And unfortunately, most people will love it, because it's a Superman movie, and everyone loves Superman. And since they spent so much money on it, it must be good! For me, I'll still take my 1978-80 Superman as the best. I would rank Man of Steel better than Superman III and even better than later seasons of Smallville. But not as good as the first few seasons of Smallville, or the recent animated Superman stories. So that puts it slightly above Superman Returns.

Now let's talk about making Supergirl!
 

Up, up and away!

Deeesher

Into Darkness Review

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...  Wait, that's not right.  Sorry, things get a bit confusing when universes collide thanks to people like J.J. Abrams.  Do I still sound bitter?  Just to refresh your memory, read all about it here.  Hey, it's been a while since I've complained about him, and if he can become ruler of the two most powerful franchises in the known universe, then I feel it is my rightful destiny to complain about it!

But I digress...

The reason I brought you all here today, is to discuss the sequel to Abrams 2009 Star Trek 'reboot' *coughs*.  This one is called, Into Darkness.

Okay, I admit, I was kind of excited about seeing this.  Oh stop gasping, even I sometimes get excited about seeing a movie.  I mildly enjoyed the 2009 Star Trek, but I wasn't overly thrilled.  I felt it had a lot of potential, but missed the mark.  In other words, phasers were set slightly above 'meh', (check out the review here).  I really hoped that Abrams read my review, and learned some valuable lessons about how horrible lens flare really is, and how annoying a shaky camera and quick edits really are for people watching your movie. So I was eager to see if I could personally be responsible for improving the overall quality of his production!  Then when I saw the Into Darkness previews, I really thought it looked cool!

If you recall, in our last trek to the stars, some disgruntled random Romulan altered our time line, just enough so nothing is the same, but many things are similar.  I think the official rule is, Abrams picks what he wants to keep, and for everything else, you can blame it on the new timeline, and not Abrams.

This time, Kirk (Chris Pine) and crew go after terrorist John Harrison, (yes, we all know it, so say it with me here... actor Benedict Cumberbatch, who is equally awesome as a modern Sherlock Holmes in the BBC series, Sherlock).

For the most part, this was a fun movie.  Abrams gave us a great solid bad guy this time, and Cumberbatch was interesting to watch.  Although, I do wish they had given him a pure evil speech moment to solidify his official bad guyness, he was still consistently charismatic.  There were also plenty of beautiful images of some ships, and it was an exciting movie to watch.  Most of the characters and acting was good, and the running time of two hours and twelve minutes really flew by.

However... it was heavily flawed!

I know, I can hear everyone screaming, "But Deeesher, the timeline changed, and you are just annoyed cause it's not exactly like the Star Trek you know, so you need to get over yourself!".  Well, first, I am over myself, thank you very much.  And secondly, I'm not expecting it to be like the Star Trek I know.  I'm referring to simple common sense.  I don't care if it's Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, or Doctor Who.  I'm looking for good solid writing and directing styles, (and for the record, the current Doctor Who wins that hands down).

So allow me a few moments to nitpick.  Let's begin with:

Directing.  Oh J.J., will you ever learn???  A lens flare is an effect, not a lifestyle choice!  Lens flare isn't quite as overwhelming as 2009's Star Trek, but it is still heavily overdone.  Can I just watch two people having a conversation without a lens flare blinding me please?  And can we have a choreographed fight scene where I can see the action please?!?  For the record, the chase scene towards the end, and ensuing fight weren't too painful to watch.  However, every other fight was just poorly directed.

Set Design.  From the thrown together garbage dump that is engineering, to the disorganization of the bridge on the Enterprise, (as well as the dreadnaught ship), it would be nice if someone had a sense of symmetry or the simple concept of a layout that you can understand.  The dreadnaught ship interiors were too dark to get any clear idea of how it looked, and the Enterprise bridge was painfully and unnecessarily bright (obviously lending itself to more and more lens flare opportunities). 

Costumes.  Who seriously approved any of these outfits?!?  Does the color Lifeless Grey exist?  Because that's what they used for the boring dress uniforms, (including the painfully unnecessary caps).  The enemy uniforms looked like a couple of grey and blue cloths of basketball mesh recklessly sewn together.  Even Cumberbatch wears nothing but a simple black shirt and pants.  I really think Abrams was doing everything he could to stay away from anything that people might want to cosplay at a convention!  He only used the traditional red, blue and yellow uniforms out of some obligation.  And even then, he looked for any opportunity to take them off, to wear more black or browns.  With these dark boring styles, mixed with the bland dark convoluted backgrounds, it was even more difficult to see any type of action sequence, when everything just blended together.

Writing.  Remember when I said the story was decent and moved along very nicely?  Don't question it.  Don't study it.  Don't examine it.  Don't you dare think for one second.  Because the moment you start to think, you will find flaws.  Endless flaws.  Flaws in common sense, and flaws in simple logic.  I could give you the list, but we would be here for a while.  There are some bad ideas that nobody in their right mind would do.  There are some homages that feel extremely forced and painfully predictable.  For some reason, Abrams continues to use writers Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof.  When will someone in Hollywood realize, these guys aren't that good!  Between Prometheus, Lost, Cowboys and Aliens, and Transformers, none of these were known for their great storylines!  Okay, maybe Lost had a few decent moments, but gather a room full of nerds together during a panel discussion at any random sci-fi convention, and they could accidentally write a better story that makes more sense than anything these guys have ever written.  Stick to television and stop ruining our movies guys!

I have said (often), one of the reasons I respect the original Star Trek, is because most episodes were written by actual science fiction authors (such as Norman Spinrad, Harlan Ellison, David Gerrold etc), just like the original Twilight Zone, and the original Outer Limits.  What happened to those days?  Why can't we hire real writers to write our movies and television shows again?  They are the ones with talent.  Give them a job please!  

Anyway, putting things back into perspective, Into Darkness is still not a bad movie.  Abrams did give us a few beautiful images of the Enterprise that were perfect for any computer desktop.  I even started to accept Chris Pine a bit more as Kirk (although he still has some growing up to do).  Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban and Simon Pegg (Uhura, McCoy, and Scotty) all did fantastic jobs again.  But biggest kudos to Zachary Quinto for Spock.  This felt like his movie from beginning to end.

So if you've never seen any incarnation of Star Trek in your entire life, and if you don't like thinking cause it hurts your brain too much, you will really like Star Trek Into Darkness.  Oh and by the way... stupidest title for a movie ever!

And by the way again... I am eagerly anticipating cosplay versions of Wetsuit Uhura!

Boldly being Deeesher

Iron Man 3 Review

Remember when I used to have regular prescriptions to comic books?  Yes, I meant prescriptions, not subscriptions,  cause they cured what ailed you.  I regularly followed The Incredible Hulk, and Spider-man, and occasionally Batman and/or Superman.  But for me, I was only mildly aware of Iron Man.  He showed up at times in crossovers, but for the most part, I was bored with him.

Then in 2009, director Jon Favreau released the first Iron Man movie.  And God bless his little heart, it was awesome!  Soon after, Favreau  gave us a sequel, aptly named Iron Man 2 (review here), which was also very freakin' cool!  And last year, director Joss Whedon released Avengers, which was chock full of superhero goodness, and it completely melted our brains with how nerd-tastic it was (review here).

Now it's 2013, can director Shane Black continue to make Iron Man someone I could still lust after, (in a very heterosexual way) with Iron Man 3?

Here we have Tony Stark, losing sleep and in recovery from the events in Avengers.  Then suddenly (and perhaps too casually?), we have a terrorist names Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), randomly terrorizing people by blowing stuff up.  Tony gets annoyed, threatens him, then we have the rest of the movie.

And quite honestly, the rest feels sort of thrown together.  It's like someone was eager to finish the trilogy.  Which is a bad concept overall, when you realize there will be an Avengers 2, and most likely Avengers 3, staring... Iron Man!  Awkward...

Robert Downey Jr. is still Iron Man.  Or more to the point, he's still Tony Stark, who, for the most part, is still a fun character.  But it seems a bit unbalanced, like this movie should have been called Tony Stark, because there seems to be a serious lack of him being Iron Man.  Sure there is plenty of mech, but generally his suit is either falling apart, or it's automated.

I also have a real problem with Tony suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome from his Avengers adventure.  Isn't the whole concept of Tony Stark someone that kicks ass for the fun of it???  Exhausted yes, but mentally debilitating to him?  I think not.

Now let's talk about Mandarin.  *sigh*  Ben Kingsley did a great job but, after all the hype from the previews, this character is a very big disappointment.

Director Shane Black made a movie.  It fulfilled the requirements as a comic book movie, but this will always be my least favorite of the franchise, partly for story, and partly for directing.  Unfortunately, we have to suffer through some annoying shaky camera moments this time, which made me miss Favreau and Joss more and more.

I really feel like this Iron Man could have been a straight to video release, and it would be great.  But after Favreau and my BFF Joss Whedon raised the bar so high, it's difficult for anyone else to know what to do with the character.  Go see it anyway, and just shut off your brain for a while, and you'll be fine.

If all else fails, you can still enjoy some Pepper Potts (Gwenyth Paltrow)?

Deeesher

Brother Grimm Reunion

Everyone loves a good Tale. This particular Tale begins in 1993, when I was just a wee nerd. I was new to the big city and very new to studio recording, (for the sake of our story, in 1993, try to imagine me as a very mature looking intelligent six year old child). I was mostly clueless, and maybe more than a bit arrogant, but fortunately, I was extremely good looking.

But more importantly, I was very lucky.

I was lucky to get work at one of the bigger studios in Miami (Studio Center). I was lucky to get a job teaching audio for the Art Institute. And I was extremely lucky to work with some cool and talented people, on some very cool songs.

But the luckiest of those times, was when I began working with the band, Brother Grimm. 

Based out of West Palm Beach, Florida, the band consisted of singer Mike Roi, who mixed unique creative lyrics, with a voice that was sometimes soothing and warm, to suddenly powerful and in your face. Dan Gindin, who was an extremely talented keyboard/piano player, and a lot of fun to hang out with, despite being completely insane. Brian Shinn, who played guitar and wrote some sweet melodies adding to the unique sound of the band. Uda (aka Yehuda Ashash), who was simply amazing with his skill on bass, and overall musical genius. And Rich Veitch, who was a solid drummer who helped make every experience with the band fun and memorable.

Because of my association with the Art Institute, I needed bands to help explain the recording process to the students, and Brother Grimm were eager guinea pigs for me. Depending on availability, sometimes they sent other bands for me to work with, (Loose Association was one of the more enjoyable and memorable bands I had a chance to record, check their page out here), but for the most part, Brother Grimm was my most common go-to band.

We even got a write up for our efforts!  
Click on the image, then right click view image to read the full story
 

A couple of the earlier sessions were recorded/produced by other Art Institute instructors (with me assisting). Then later, I would use studio downtime to try to come up with a decent mix. Sometimes the band was there to oversee (overhear), and sometimes they were not. Later, when I began teaching the classes, I did a lot of experimentation with recording, and learned a lot, and hopefully the students learned something too. Eventually the band had enough material to release a cassette demo of their songs, entitled Tales. 

 

Complete with artwork from the one and only Tony DiTerlizzi, (if you've never heard of him, you really need to check out his site here!).

It really was the best of times.

So here we are twenty years later, and Brother Grimm has gently faded into the ether of time. The members have drifted to the four corners of the world to seek out their own individual adventures. I think one of them became a ninja, and another is studying to be a wizard... but I'm unsure if these reports are valid.

However, one very accurate report is that singer Mike Roi has been focusing on his new band, Roi and the Secret People (check him out here and discover he is just as awesome now as he was then). And through the miracle of modern technology, Mike has also been posting the Brother Grimm video archives here, which inspired me to start thinking (as rare as thinking can be for me).

With all these fancy new computer gadgets the kids have, and with all the advancements in my brain, can I improve on my recordings from twenty years ago? I also wondered, if maybe there are many fans of Brother Grimm that never got a copy of some of the more rare or obscure recordings from those days. Or maybe you have an old melted cassette copy of the songs that you can't listen to anymore.

So after spending the last couple of weeks, tweaking, fine tuning, changing my mind and giving up, restarting again a bit more enthusiastically, and finally reluctant acceptance... I present to you:

Tales - 20^th Anniversary Extended Edition

"Ooh Deeesher, where can I get that???"

The best thing to do is contact Mike Roi or the fan page here.  Or you can always contact me and maybe I can arrange for you to get a copy of the songs.

I have always said, I have a story for each of these songs, and since this is as close to a reunion as we are likely to get, I'll share some of my Tales of Brother Grimm with you.

*Tech notes: Most of my tweaks were simply adding volume, and maybe some highs or lows to the overall mix. I will notate any other drastic changes I made, and I sincerely hope I did manage to improve some of the work I did, even if it's just a bit. And if you never heard any problems with my mixes before, then yay for me!

Mother Tranquility - The intro was originally longer, and included a line about "where vampires weep". We all felt it was too long and unnecessary, so Mike was outvoted and the line was cut. He was brokenhearted, because he really loved that line.

*Tech notes – The “T” on “Try your hardest” was cut, so I added a “T”. I also added a bigger slam at the end. I tried adding heavy distortion to the “Wake up”, but I couldn't get the right amount of fuzz.

Shift - Most of you know this story. We recorded drums and bass in the first half of the song. But, Dan wasn't there when we did the final mix. I asked if they thought he would be happy, and everyone felt he would find something to complain about. So we joked about taking the keyboards out completely. Then someone said he would only be happy if the entire song was only keyboards. I was going to make a 'fake' mix for Dan with only keyboards but... everyone said it really sounded cool!

*Tech notes – I took out half of the 'I go insanes', and fixed the popping 'p's' in the intro.

Underside - I remember a live show, where the stage was beside the entrance to the club. People were coming in and out during the show, and I remember Mike sang, screaming the chorus at people, “Leave by the door... It's open f'in wide...!"

*Tech notes – When recording, I used the same mic to record guitars that Spinal Tap uses, (not the actual mic, but it was an AKG D12, not D112). The original mix always bothered me somehow, and finally, years later, I like it. I added an overall subtle reverb to the entire mix to give it a bit more life. I also added the cool/cheesy swirly flange effect at the very end.

Blue Ketchup – Rumor has it, this song was based on a painting by Tony Diterlizzi. When recording, we were running out of studio time, so Mike needed to record his vocals quickly. He did it all in one take, with no mistakes! He even made up a new word: Condifference. Listen for it.

*Tech notes – Recorded by the illustrious Giorgos Papabeis (aka George)

Ichabod - This was the first time I met the band, and was before Uda joined. I instantly fell in love with this song. But because I was only assisting in the recording, I wasn't there the entire time. I still remember Dan running out to tell me to come in and listen to Mike's vocals, "Dude, you have to listen to what he just did!"

*Tech notes – I was never happy with the kick drum sound when it was originally recorded. Plus I was told that (in theory), it should fade into Self Treachery. So, when mixing, I sampled the kick drum from Treachery, and replaced the recorded kick drum on Ichabod. Maybe the band didn't know I did that, but I thought it sounded a bit better, and hopefully matched with Treachery. Maybe not... oh well.

Self Treachery - Another student recording but... none of the students showed up! This was recorded maybe 6 months after Ichabod, but because they do work well together, I combined them many years ago, and now they seem inseparable to me... quite literally. I have no way of breaking them up now because of the crossfade I created.

*Tech notes – Recorded by the legendary Eddie Mashal, who you may know from such rare obscure albums like Hotel California and The Long Run.

Eve - Uda proving his talent and genius in this song! Recorded during studio downtime, Uda and I stayed up all night working on this mix. We began recording around 9pm and Uda and I finished the final mix at about 9am. While Uda was recording some of his parts, Mike, Dan and I discovered 'something' on his computer. I can't begin to describe it, but we all had a good laugh about it.

Alain - There is something about the lyrics, and the way Mike sang here, that I always loved. This is also one of my favorite Brian guitar solos.

*Tech notes – I never quite got the cool swirly flange sound on the chorus I wanted, but I guess it's okay. However, I was always happy with the 'yeah...' effect, and the '...craaaaaazzzyyy...!' effect in the second verse. I always liked how the song started a bit keyboard heavy, then accidentally got more guitar heavy.

Can't Always Get It - Young engineers, heed this advice: When someone tells you NOT to record, you should ALWAYS record! Christmas day was another day of no scheduled bookings in the studio, so I invited the band to hang out and record. This is Mike and Dan accidentally showing off how talented they really are. None of this was faked or overdubbed. If you listen closely, you hear my dorky voice in the background saying, "Okay, jam!", while I was on the phone with a friend (Francine). FYI - The only food we had in the studio, was turkey bologna...

New Orleans Moon – Also recorded on Christmas, when Brian joined (the others were unavailable). Brian got a new Line 6 guitar processor for Christmas and was eager to test out every patch in it before recording. If you listen to the rain at the end, the thunder was a very unexpected surprise that was timed perfectly.

Progress Babies – I love the simple guitar/vocal intro, and the way the rest of the band comes in always sounded so full and impressive to me. With Mike's lyrics and how he sang, this will always be one of my favorite Grimm songs.

*Tech notes – I removed clicks during the guitar intro.

Ash – Another of my absolute favorites, Brian has one of the best solos here, and Mike belts out a perfect vocal all the way. Of course Uda shows off some amazing stuff as well.

Exit 53 - The studio was renting some kind of stereo enhancer, so I tried it out. The depth of stereo it created still impresses me today.

*Tech notes – Lowered the volume of the toms.

Listen to the Toads - What a fun song! Uda and Brian showing off how talented they really are here. It was awesome to record a live horn section for this. But the best memory I have of this song, was before a live show, Mike was still trying to write lyrics for this song. I asked what he planned to sing live, and he said he always makes it up. He said, "I could sing 'watermelon' and nobody would notice. I'm going to do that tonight!". And on the 2nd verse, I clearly heard him shout, "Waaaaterrrmellonnn!" And the crowd loved it!

*Tech notes – Rich used a Dr. Pepper can during the intro and second breakdown. I used a Sennheiser 421 microphone to record it.

Your Darkness, The Dog in me has Died, Dreamcatcher – All three recorded the same day. All three had quick 'lightning mixes', and I never had the chance to take time to mix them right. While the students took a break, we recorded Dog in under an hour.

Origin of a Species – Recorded live in the studio, with only Mike recording overdubs later. Brian's amp was down the hall in an empty room with cables running back into the studio for him to play with the rest of the band. I was told, this song is different every time they played it.

New World Presence – They very reluctantly recorded this song for me. I loved the original demo version, but they weren't so eager to record it. Listening to it again, they were right. Oh well...

Terese, Pools of Blue (acoustic), Bewlay Brothers, Ash (acoustic) – The studio had a baby grand piano, and Dan loved playing it. When he wasn't talking, he was playing that piano... whether we wanted him to or not. Recorded randomly through the year, each of these are very simple and relaxing to enjoy. I still wish I had a full version of Pools of Blue. And Terese was always a very beautiful original song to me, and Mike sang it brilliantly, as always.

Self Treachery (acoustic) – I have to talk about this one separate from the other piano recordings, because of how beautiful and chilling this version really is. Mike and Dan were trying to decide what to record, and I suggested Self Treachery. They began recording, and had to restart two or three times for one reason or other. When they finally found their groove, it was simply amazing. Sitting in front of the console listening to them record this version was one of my most proudest moments in the studio. I was honored to be at the front row of this private concert.

Moonage Daydream – What a sad day! This was the last song I recorded with them before they moved away.

And we all lived happily ever after (more or less).

But I've gone on long enough, although I'm sure you've got your stories.

So what are your Tales of Brother Grimm?

Deeesher

Evil Dead Again Review

In 1981, a filmmaker and his friends were broke.  So like most broke guys, they decided to make a movie.  They took out loans, begged, borrowed and (reportedly) sold their souls, and at the end of the day, they made a movie called "The Book of the Dead".  At the end of the next day, they changed the title to "The Evil Dead".  And it was good ... or actually evil.

The acting was horrible, the effects were silly, and the overall production just looked cheap.  But, it had a very dark soul!  *insert spooky laugh here*.  It had classic moments that were just creepy, and it was just good clean fun to watch.  Well, it was evil bloody fun to watch, if you're into that sort of thing.

As you may have guessed by now, that filmmaker was Sam Raimi, and one of his friends starring in it, was Bruce Campbell.  Sam eventually created Darkman, and the Tobey Mcquire version of Spider-man, (and most recently Oz the Great and Powerful).  Bruce, as you know, is best known for... being Bruce Campbell.

The Evil Dead eventually spawned Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, and one of my favorite movies ever, Army of Darkness.  The series did get less creepy and more outright fun as it went on.  But the original will always be a classic, and there will never be another like it.

Wait...  What do you mean someone just remade it???   Dammit...!

Fine.  Here we are in 2013 and someone decides to bring it back to life after so many years.  I was extremely apprehensive, however, the trailer for it looked impressive.  Could they do it?  Can they recreate the creepy tension from the original and give it new life (or new death)?

The first thing you notice, is they hired actors.  Maybe none of them were Oscar winners, but they did a believable job, and you could tell they got paid more than Sam Raimi's friends from the original.  

The next thing you'll notice, is they wrote a story.  The original was essentially kids going to a cabin to, probably have sex and do drugs.  But this is 2013, where kids everywhere are getting clean and sober.  Which brings us to the plot.  Mia (actress Jane Levy) has decided she's had enough drugs in her life, and gathered her friends together to help her clean up once and for all.  Well, I'm guessing it's drugs she pours down the well.  It could be a heavy cinnamon addiction, since they never specifically say what it was.  But the thing to remember is, there is a fine line between withdrawal symptoms and demon possession.

There are other major plot changes from the original.  But the storyline is not the only place these movies differ!  The list goes on...

One painful difference was the cabin itself.  The original version gave the cabin life (uncredited), and a personality.  Sam Raimi made it someplace uncomfortable and disturbing.  The remake, made it a cabin.  Sure it had some disturbing rooms within, but it was still just a cabin in the woods, (not to be mistaken for the awesome 2011 horror film, Cabin in the Woods, which pays homage to many great horror films, including The Evil Dead, which you NEED to see if you have not!).

Another noticeable change was, the original used very cheesy but acceptable demonic makeup.  The remake, gave them funny contacts, dirt, and blood... and that's it.

Even the Angry Rape Tree, which was very popular in the original, didn't seem so angry here.  It seemed like it accidentally raped her, and maybe even apologized after.

You could tell, the makers of the new version were obviously fans of the original, and I do respect that.  There were plenty of nice homages to the original, but the remake seemed to be missing the heart and soul.  You would think, a soulless horror movie is a good thing.  But I prefer the dark soul of the original *insert spooky laugh again*.

Despite all these holes in it's life, the remake is still a decent horror movie. You get plenty of blood, and lots of screams mixed with cringe-worthy moments.

Go see it, but the original is still King in my book of the dead.

So hail to the king, baby...

Deeesher

Nerd Popularity

Hollywood is evil. Hollywood will destroy your hopes and dreams. It wants to remove any creativity and enjoyment from your life, crushing your childhood memories in it's path. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead inside.

But it wasn't always like this. There was good in Hollywood once. It used to care about young nerds in the 60's and 70's. Back then, Hollywood presented nerds everywhere with Gene Roddenberry, and George Lucas. We eagerly embraced them as our adoptive mother and father of modern science fiction, (I'll let you decide which was which). Both men had a respectable vision, and built an amazing franchise that would one day destroy the world.

Oh sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.

These insightful men gave us Star Trek and Star Wars, and brought joy to wide-eyed nerds all over the world. And keep in mind, in those days, being a young nerdling wasn't so popular. My views, imagination, and interests were considered a bit taboo. If I dared stand up in class, and mutter something Spock-like, or preached from the book of Yoda, I would have to live with the shame everyone would tell me I should feel, for the rest of my life. I tried to ignore the taunts, and convince myself, I didn't really need to be cool, but sadly, the damage was already done. At least I could enjoy my own personal Fortress of Solitude, filled with comic books, and action figures.

And so, early nerds lived on a steady diet of Star Trek, and Star Wars. Equally important, but different universes entirely.

But of course, the 70's, 80's and 90's brought us more joy, through things like, Loagan's Run, The Six Million Dollar Man, Battlestar Galactica (the original series), The Incredible Hulk, Superman, Buck Rogers, Alien, Tron, Empire Strikes Back, Blade Runner, Wrath of Khan, Knight Rider, Back to the Future, V, Terminator, Batman (Michael Keaton), Alien Nation, Jurassic Park, X Files, Men in Black, The Matrix, X-Men, and Spider-man (sorry if I forgot to mention your favorite). Each one becoming more and more publicly acceptable. Each one earning more and more money for Hollywood as it slowly rose to power.

And then in 2004, Hollywood presented us with a new television series... Lost.

Lost was a respectable show, although not great. It had very good episodes, and some not so good episodes, (most of the not so good were in season 3). It was dramatic, and unique, and at times confusing. It had great characters, as well as mystery, and somehow kept you watching from week to week. It was a unique form of science fiction. And more importantly for Hollywood... it became popular. And with this popularity, came it's creator and director: J.J. Abrams and his production company, Bad Robot.

If Hollywood is Emperor Palpatine, Abrams would be Anakin. He doesn't mean to be bad, he's just misguided. If Hollywood is Khan, maybe Abrams is Gary Mitchell. Someone with too much power, that doesn't really know what to do with it all.

As the series Lost was creating a rift in time (or whatever the show was about), it also quite literally, created a rift in our universe, (or whatever has happened to our society).

The popularity of Lost got Hollywood's attention. So, Hollywood gave Abrams another series... Fringe. This was also good, but not great. I always felt like it was a clone of X-Files, only with annoying characters (with the exception of Walter Bishop, played expertly by John Noble). But again, more importantly... it became popular. And from that, Hollywood said, “Here is a lot of money. Go make a monster movie called Cloverfield, and your path towards the dark side will be complete!”

Cloverfield was not that good. It was filled with plot holes, shaking nauseating first person cameras and overly moronic characters. But somehow, the public suddenly embraced Cloverfield with love and a disturbing amount of affection. And I will never understand why. Maybe it was because Hollywood convinced the public that J.J. Abrams is good. Perhaps the success of Lost and Fringe lulled the public into a false sense of security. Or maybe they added subliminal messages in his shaking camera.

Whatever the reason, in 2009, Abrams wins Olympic Nerd Gold, by getting the job of directing the new 'reboot' of Star Trek.

If you know me, you know I hate the word 'reboot'. But this is one of the rare situations where I can understand why it was done. Star Trek needed a good kick in the warp core. The last few theatrical releases of Star Trek had been bland at best, and even the more recent TV series, was at times painful to watch.

So Abrams vision of the Star Trek universe was good. Not great but, like Lost, enjoyable. And yet frustrating in other ways, (read my full review here). Abrams didn't add anything to the franchise, with the exception of lens flare and shaky cameras. He told a simple story with a lame bad guy. Abrams basically 'did the job'... but not too much of it. I never saw anything artistic, or creative in what he did (see Blade Runner, Prometheus, Sin City, 300, Breaking Bad, Zero Theorem, or even Raiders of the Lost Ark, and most recently Guardians of the Galaxy for examples of visually stunning directors). There was never a 'stand up and cheer' moment in the busy theater where I watched it. Maybe with a better script, and less lens flare, and establishing shots with fight choreography and scenes I could watch, it might help. 

Sadly, Into Darkness was worse visually.  Again, he made the bridge look like a claustrophbic Apple Store with lens flare.  He made the Dreadnaught interiors so dark you could barely see any of it.  He took every oppurtunity to use browns, greys, or blacks as his washed out color pallete.  Even the engine room of the Enterprise was just a water park ride.  I won't even mention his ill-conceived concept of adding popular songs to a movie set 300 years in the future!

For comparison, watch the original series of Star Trek on Netflix.  It's been remastered, spicing up the colors a lot, also adding new modern effects.  It does help that the stories were fantastic, but they had clear vision of how that universe should look.

In all fairness, I will say that he made the exteriors of the ships look great, and there were some beautiful moments watching how majestic they looked.  Many of those shots would look wonderful as desktop pictures for my computer.  But everything else was a wash of mud.

But apparently, society says, everything Abrams does is fantastic! Again, I ask, why???

Meanwhile, in another universe...

George Lucas gets old. After completely losing his mind with special editions, and re-edits, George sells Star Wars to Disney. I have very mixed feelings about this, but the desperate child inside me clings to a new hope. Then suddenly, my hope turns to joy, hearing the plan to make a new Star Wars theatrical release.

But who will direct it??? The list of potential new directors is miles long. So many possibilities! Who will it be???

And now, a moment of silence as two universes slam together with catastrophic results...

J.J. Abrams. Why did it have to be J.J. Abrams? (Please read the previous in your best Indiana Jones voice for the full effect).

I feel as if the giant Terminator foot has just crushed my skull. Is that what Bad Robot really means? The two universes were equally important... But different! How can you justify giving the same man control of both universes... when he's not that good!

I respect that he's a fan.  And maybe if me and JJ hung out, I MIGHT get along with him.  But that won't make me think he's a fantastic director.  You can love music, but it doesn't mean you're a great producer or engineer, (like that ever happens...).

IF he can stop the lens flare.
IF he can stop shaking the camera.
IF he can create establishing shots with decent fight choreography without the closeup quick edits...  
I think he can tell a good story with his directing, IF he has a decent script, and uses some semblance of a color palette.  But of course, I worry about his old habits.

So, this is the world we live in now. Is this the price of Nerd Popularity? Maybe if we revert to the days of being outcasts, we could get our creativity back. Maybe if we stop spending money on every piece of crap that calls itself science fiction or fantasy, we can save our money for the school bully the way God intended. Maybe if everyone wasn't so eager to jump on the nerd bandwagon, we could go back to the days when conventions weren't so packed with hot sexy cosplay girls... 

No, that would be a terrible idea. 
Nerd popularity does have its perks.

*sigh*

Deeesher

Star Trek 2009 Review

I am not sure which had more hype, the 2009 *cough* “re-boot” of Star Trek, or the anticipation for my review of it.

 

Having recently seen it in an overly packed theater (which goes against everything I stand for), here is the moment you were waiting for:
It was pretty good.

Before you read too much into this, let me clarify, it was not great! I have read many of the reviews and opinions of others, and I still feel the masses are being swayed by the pretty lights and big explosions. We, as a nation of Trekkies, (Trekkers? Trekkons? Trekastitions? Trekatholons?), have been starved for quality Star Trek for some time now, and this movie is better than the constant vomit the team of Berman/Braga spewed at us for the past twenty years or so.

Okay, maybe I am being a bit overly dramatic, but I think their constant re-writes of the Trek mythos really damaged the franchise and became very skewed from what Gene Roddenberry originally envisioned. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed a lot of episodes of Next Generation, and some of Voyager (particularly the Seven of Nine episodes… weird huh?). I really wanted to like Enterprise, but it became so painful to watch, and by the time they figured it all out, the show was cancelled. I’ve only seen one season of Deep Space Nine… that was quite enough thank you.

So like many of you, I was eager for a new Trek, but given all the factors, I was quite terrified at the concept, (see the pre-review blog here). I am however, very happy to report that it was not as bad as I had feared… but it was still flawed in a few ways.

Let us take a moment to dissect this movie with a fine toothed phaser:

J.J. Abrams – Director: This is a billion times better than Cloverfield, but someone seriously needs to buy this man a freakin’ steadicam! Much of the shaky camera and tight shots on the action were frustrating to watch. Overall, there was nothing that overly impressed me visually; with the exception of some of the starships… those were cool. The interiors all felt a bit cramped to me. The Enterprise is a ship that stretches out for half the length of a football field, so you would think they could space things out a bit better. Even in The Original Series, they had plenty of room to throw each other around in.

Story: Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman created a simple safe straightforward storyline. I mentioned in my pre-review blog that they wrote for Xena and Hercules and this movie was at least as good as any of those episodes were. They created some nice homage’s for Trek fans, and I appreciated that. They were able to sort of re-create the universe and keep the essence of the characters intact. But, seeing it in a packed theater, I would expect the occasional cheers or applause during big moments. There were none. Was my audience all asleep, or maybe it just didn’t have any of those ass kicking moments like we would have enjoyed.

James T. Kirk (Chris Pine): For me, this is one of the huge flaws in this movie. I was not looking for a cheesy William Shatner impersonator, but the concept of Captain Kirk is someone who kicked ass, took names, and then had sex with a green skinned alien woman. Maybe he did all those things in this movie, but it felt somehow forced, or like he was just going through the motions. The key word here is charisma, (or maybe even star power). I did not feel any of that from him. There was nothing about him that made me excited to see him on screen (let alone in the Captain’s chair). If the casting here is flawed, I would also point a finger to the writing as well, because any sane military commander would have thrown him in the brig in the first five minutes. Oh, but I guess the ship didn’t have one? Weird…

Nero (Eric Bana) aka bad guy: Two important aspects of a movie of this type are how good the hero is, and how good the villain is. This would be flaw number two in my book. The bad guy was very bland and painfully forgettable. I am amazed I remembered his name long enough to do this review. He was a disgruntled Romulan Miner. He’s no Khan, he’s no Palpatine, and he’s no Sylar. Now who was I talking about…?

Spock (Zachary Quinto): Very nice! He looked and felt like Spock. Was he doing a Leonard Nimoy impression? I don’t think so, but I still enjoyed it. Zach is one of my friends on myspace by the way, (call me buddy!). Warning: High Geek Content Alert! Everyone knows him as Mr. Spock, but there was an episode (This Side of Paradise) where someone asked his first name. His response: “…you couldn’t pronounce it”. I have been eagerly awaiting his first name since that time. It seems they overlooked this extra nerdy fact for the movie as everyone simply calls him Spock. Oh well…

Leonard McCoy (Karl Urban): Very cool again! He stepped nicely into the scrubs of Deforest Kelly. It was nice to see the friendship between him and Kirk during the academy days.

Nyota Uhura (Zoe Saldana): I felt a bit disappointed by this. Maybe I am being too nitpicky here, but Nichelle Nichols had a certain aura about her. She was a classy intelligent beautiful lady. She almost felt like royalty somehow. Zoe is a beautiful sexy lady, but maybe does not have the air about her that the original Uhura had. Maybe I should just shut the hell up and enjoy the memory of her in her bra and panties.

Hikaru Sulu (John Cho): I have two words for you… White Castle.

Really?? Are there no other young Asian men with a good physique and deep voice like George Takei available in the world? As he drove the Enterprise, I was eagerly awaiting him to ask the captain to make a quick stop at the White Castle first.

Pavel Chekov (Anton Yelchin): Okay, maybe the actor is Russian, but why did his accent sound like a parody of Russians? Warning! More High Geek Content Alert! The original concept for Chekov was to attract younger people to the show, so they brought in Walter Koenig who they felt had a Beatles/Monkees look to him. Somehow, I think younger people seeing this guy will think… what a dork.

Scotty (Simon Pegg): Sure. Works for me. Oh, you want more? Um… James Doohan was the original Scotty, and I met him once. We both liked the same episode of the original series (Doomsday Machine). I have always liked Simon Pegg, so maybe he would enjoy it as well, cause I know in the real world, he is quite nerdy himself, (See Shaun of the Dead, or the BBC series Spaced).

Yes, I’ll buy the Trek 2009 DVD when it’s released, and yes I would watch the series if they made one, and yes I’ll be interested to see a sequel. But I still don’t think it’s as awesome as others are saying for the reasons mentioned. Maybe I would give it eight green skinned Orion women out of ten.

For now, I think its way past time to change my profile picture.

Deeesher